Goodbye Thread 24-08 (maybe)

[jemetire]

I think this is it. I fucked up real hard and I don't know if I will ever recover from this. I don't want to say it because I am ashamed of it and I regret it a lot. This afternoon i was standing on the train tracks but si was just too strong and I was scared of the fast trains passing by. At this moment I'm waiting for something to happen to confirm my suspicion, but if it happens I will maybe do it. I have already done metoclopramide today no benzodiazepines. I'm real scared of what happens next. If the thing I fear doesn't happen I will not kill myself. I know I'm young but honestly this is too much. Too much for an 18 year old. I didn't know what I did wrong to deserve this but it is what it is. I can't change the situation anymore and if I die, so be it. I no longer want to live in fear nor suffering, so today is my day: either I ctb or I will try my hardest to recover from all this and to improve my life. I honestly don't know what will happen today, but we'll see, I'm waiting for one thing, and one thing only. If that person is reading this, and you know it, then I want to ask you please don't make it worse, my life is already fucked so don't force me to ctb right now at this moment. Maybe I'm too late maybe not. Anyway this is the worst day of my life without a doubt! I hope I won't have to ctb today, I wish for a good life. This forum was my life for the last few months. I want to mention End and Kikoo, 2 ss users who ctb recently. I know I'm confusing as hell but I'm in big panic right now. This was my journey. I wish you all good luck. Thanks for reading. Peace out

 

[Eternal Sleep!]

I really hope your life improves, I don't know your condition but I wish you all the best! I assume you have depression in that case you could always try Ketamine or ECT. Also talking about your problems could help. Please don't CTB until you have tried everything! Wishing you strength ❤

 

[AnonElipso]

From your post I can read out that you dont want to do it but your are scared of what comes next. Maybe things turn out diffetently. Maybe take some time and rethink it. I hope you dont but if you ctb then good luck and may you rest in peace.

I really hope your life improves, I don't know your condition but I wish you all the best! I assume you have depression in that case you could always try Ketamine or ECT. Also talking about your problems could help. Please don't CTB until you have tried everything! Wishing you strength ❤

Hes right. Ctb is the last option so please see it as one. Its the only decision thats permanent and cant be changed. Stay strong

 

[venin]

I think this is it. I fucked up real hard and I don't know if I will ever recover from this. I don't want to say it because I am ashamed of it and I regret it a lot. This afternoon i was standing on the train tracks but si was just too strong and I was scared of the fast trains passing by. At this moment I'm waiting for something to happen to confirm my suspicion, but if it happens I will maybe do it. I have already done metoclopramide today no benzodiazepines. I'm real scared of what happens next. If the thing I fear doesn't happen I will not kill myself. I know I'm young but honestly this is too much. Too much for an 18 year old. I didn't know what I did wrong to deserve this but it is what it is. I can't change the situation anymore and if I die, so be it. I no longer want to live in fear nor suffering, so today is my day: either I ctb or I will try my hardest to recover from all this and to improve my life. I honestly don't know what will happen today, but we'll see, I'm waiting for one thing, and one thing only. If that person is reading this, and you know it, then I want to ask you please don't make it worse, my life is already fucked so don't force me to ctb right now at this moment. Maybe I'm too late maybe not. Anyway this is the worst day of my life without a doubt! I hope I won't have to ctb today, I wish for a good life. This forum was my life for the last few months. I want to mention End and Kikoo, 2 ss users who ctb recently. I know I'm confusing as hell but I'm in big panic right now. This was my journey. I wish you all good luck. Thanks for reading. Peace out

If you still feel you can recover I'd advise you to take some steps back for the moment and don't make any rash decisions

Deep breaths and going for a walk might make you feel better

Take care

 

[アホペンギン]

Please try to improve yourself before making impulsive decisions such as ctb! Try as hard as you can, sending you strength and my best regards!

 

[Stormy Raine]

I won't ask you what happened, it's none of my business but I promise anything that you have done wrong you always get a chance everyday to apologize or face the consequences. It really sounds like you don't want to CTB unless you are busted, and that's your right, but remember ctb is a permanent solution to what could be a temporary problem. Try to calm down and if it's criminal which I have an idea it might be I suggest calling attorneys without your name for a free consultation to see what you may be facing. If it makes you feel better call 10 attorneys they all give free consultations over the phone but don't give them your name. If my story helps you in anyway then great but if it doesn't that's fine. I did something wrong and I wanted to die. I found this site and with my friends help and support I now want to live no matter what the outcome will be from those bad decisions I made. I'm still waiting for my date but no matter what I can be a woman and face it, I won't be a coward. If I decide to ctb it will be for others reasons and not this. Every struggle has a lesson and remember everyday is a chance to try again and do the right thing! If you want to ctb still, I hope you find peace in your decision and I hope it's a smooth transition for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be horrible feeling trapped in a situation like that but anyway I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Wishing you the best whatever you decide is right for you. I sincerely hope that you can come back from whatever happened.