Goodbye SaSu

[dewdfish]

Today is the day. In the past 4 months I had about 5 failed attempts with one leading to me needing PCR and getting attached a whole bunch of wires on my chest. I second guessed my options for a while and thought I could hold on for a little longer, but at 18 I gave myself 5 more years to fight and try to change my scenarios and possible future, well, I can say with very much certainty that it worked for a while but everything fell apart again, and I no longer have the desire or will to keep on going. I never intended on living for this long and it's been about a decade of dealing with crippling mental disorders. I am about to shower, gonna get dressed and I am wearing my pretty red velvet dress for this moment and wearing my expensive makeup for the very last time. I am typing this out to interact with y'all during my last couple of hours then I am kicking the chair. If anyone got questions or wanna chat for a little bit here feel welcome to do so.

Thank you SaSu, I made very few acquaintances here and this place gave me the resources needed for me to achieve my final goal with safety. I am so grateful for this beautiful community and for crossing paths with incredible souls.

 

[Terrible_Life]

I am so sorry everything led to this point. I wish you would have a great life and could have been able to enjoy it :(
Nobody should end up at this sad tragic point but unfortunately this is a big part of our world.

 

[dewdfish]

I am so sorry everything led to this point. I wish you would have a great life and could have been able to enjoy it :(
Nobody should end up at this sad tragic point but unfortunately this is a big part of our world.

Thank you for the kind words. Unfortunately it doesn't play well for everyone. I know it's simply a minority of the population, but I'm at peace with my decision.

 

[Defenestration]

sad to read this...
I wish you peace...

 

[dewdfish]

sad to read this...
I wish you peace...

Thank you

 

[Defenestration]

Thank you

I'm not here to give you advice, and I'm not pro-life, but don't you want to wait another week? You deserve to feel better.

 

[dewdfish]

I'm not here to give you advice, and I'm not pro-life, but don't you want to wait another week? You deserve to feel better.

Haven't felt better in a long while. Things are only going to get worse from this point forward. It's not fair to myself to keep waking up into a state of despair and sorrow anymore.

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[hurb]

Ah to actually dress up before ctb. I love the idea. After all seeking freedom shouldnt feel sad but rather liberating.
Whatever happens know we are with you everystep you take. We are a big family after all

 

[Defenestration]

Haven't felt better in a long while. Things are only going to get worse from this point forward. It's not fair to myself to keep waking up into a state of despair and sorrow anymore.

Arf i can understand

 

[Macedonian1987]

I wish from the bottom of my heart for you to be free from all the suffering that forced your hand to do this and be finally at peace. I will probably join you in a 5-6 months from now. I gave life a chance to improve, but sadly it only got worse for me.

 

[dewdfish]

Ah to actually dress up before ctb. I love the idea. After all seeking freedom shouldnt feel sad but rather liberating.
Whatever happens know we are with you everystep you take. We are a big family after all

It's a form of art for me. To finally hit the peace I've been looking for this whole time, it's only fair I meet death in my peak. I'm currently curling my hair for it, my makeup is done, I've never felt so pretty in my life. I guess that came with the detachment of living another day.

I wish from the bottom of my heart for you to be free from all the suffering that forced your hand to do this and be finally at peace. I will probably join you in a 5-6 months from now. I gave life a chance to improve, but sadly it only got worse for me.

Thank you so much, Macedonian. I hope we can meet in the afterlife. I hope you can also be free from your suffering.

 

[dragon.//]

Goodluck, i hope all goes well

 

[hurb]

It's a form of art for me. To finally hit the peace I've been looking for this whole time, it's only fair I meet death in my peak. I'm currently curling my hair for it, my makeup is done, I've never felt so pretty in my life. I guess that came with the detachment of living another

Yeah just like cats when they stop caring.
Are u listening to any song in particular?

 

[dewdfish]

Yeah just like cats when they stop caring.
Are u listening to any song in particular?

I am currently listening to Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis <3 I made a playlist for this specific moment.

 

[BadVibes]

I teared up a little bit reading this. I'm awfully sorry this life couldn't give you what you wanted. If you end up CTBing, I really do hope all goes well for you and you find the inner peace you're looking for.

 

[dewdfish]

I teared up a little bit reading this. I'm awfully sorry this life couldn't give you what you wanted. If you end up CTBing, I really do hope all goes well for you and you find the inner peace you're looking for.

Hey, don't cry! I know it's utterly crushing to see someone go, but for me it's rather peaceful and I am actually very excited for it. Thank you very much for the kind words, I hope death gives me the warmth that life didn't.

 

[hurb]

I am currently listening to Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis <3 I made a playlist for this specific moment.

Well smthg for sure u have got great taste.

 

[Defenestration]

J'écoute actuellement Stop Crying Your Heart Out d'Oasis <3 J'ai créé une playlist spécialement pour ce moment.

Excellent choice of music

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Will miss seeing the little mouse pic around. Sending love and hugs your way, and wish you only the best, as your kind soul deserves. Safe travels, and whatever happens, may peace and love be with you.

 

[dewdfish]

Well smthg for sure u have got great taste.

Thank you! I've always liked the melancholy in songs.

Will miss seeing the little mouse pic around. Sending love and hugs your way, and wish you only the best, as your kind soul deserves. Safe travels, and whatever happens, may peace and love be with you.

Thank you so much!!!

 

[Macedonian1987]

It's a form of art for me. To finally hit the peace I've been looking for this whole time, it's only fair I meet death in my peak. I'm currently curling my hair for it, my makeup is done, I've never felt so pretty in my life. I guess that came with the detachment of living another day.

Thank you so much, Macedonian. I hope we can meet in the afterlife. I hope you can also be free from your suffering.

New age spiritualists say that similar souls attract each other in the afterlife because they vibrate on the same frequency. I've read many of your posts and you seem like a genuinely good person who sadly has had very bad luck in life like me.
In most of my life I was a good and kind person too, but I was avoided by all because of my asperger's, so there are indeed high chances that we might indeed meet each other in the afterlife if the new age spiritualists are right.

 

[raemysteryO]

Fly high beautiful
Good luck!

 

['Sraom]

sorry it had to get to this point. at least you're comfortable with it

 

[blacksand]

See you on the other side.

 

[IwantSN]

I'm sorry that things have ended up like this. It was always nice to read your posts and comments ,but at least you'll be at peace soon. Good luck on your attempt. hopefully it's not too painful

 

[race]

Good luck, I hope it goes well for you <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the freedom you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

I hope you find peace no matter what happens. You do not deserve the pain you've gone through

 

[ariissorry]

I hope you find peace