Venting Goodbye (hopefully)

[agota676767nekro]

Hello, this is my first time posting. Today im planning to jump off a bridge, its quite tall.
Impact from that height can cause immediate loss of consciousness and broken bones, and internal organ failure as the water acts like a solid surface. In the dark and the freezing water of the river hypothermia would probably rapidly paralyze my muscles, leading to a high risk of drowning before anyone could find or reach me. Today I got gifts for my friends, gave candy and money to my classmates. Hugged them, said goodbye. I feel shitty, I really do. I'm a bit scared too. I can't see life valuable. I only see life valuable in pleasures like eating and binging internet. I can't see the point in suffering. All I wish for is this cruel, meaningless existence to painlessly disappear into nothingness I wish for the peace that only death can bring. I don't deserve to live, I'm so privileged, I should go to 8th grade next year. But I don't learn, don't do my hobbies, don't exercise, I don't have any talents, my parents see me as a mistake, And I understand them. I truly am, the only time I can feel anything but numbness is when my mon beats the shit out of me. I hope everything will work and I will die. I will leave a note, finish cleaning my room, send my last texts and say goodbye. AND YES. I would OD or ctb with a gun but I don't have money, also I don't want to turn into a pancake infront of other people in public.

 

[Aflame5926]

Hello, this is my first time posting. Today im planning to jump off a bridge, its quite tall.
Impact from that height can cause immediate loss of consciousness and broken bones, and internal organ failure as the water acts like a solid surface. In the dark and the freezing water of the river hypothermia would probably rapidly paralyze my muscles, leading to a high risk of drowning before anyone could find or reach me. Today I got gifts for my friends, gave candy and money to my classmates. Hugged them, said goodbye. I feel shitty, I really do. I'm a bit scared too. I can't see life valuable. I only see life valuable in pleasures like eating and binging internet. I can't see the point in suffering. All I wish for is this cruel, meaningless existence to painlessly disappear into nothingness I wish for the peace that only death can bring. I don't deserve to live, I'm so privileged, I should go to 8th grade next year. But I don't learn, don't do my hobbies, don't exercise, I don't have any talents, my parents see me as a mistake, And I understand them. I truly am, the only time I can feel anything but numbness is when my mon beats the shit out of me. I hope everything will work and I will die. I will leave a note, finish cleaning my room, send my last texts and say goodbye. AND YES. I would OD or ctb with a gun but I don't have money, also I don't want to turn into a pancake infront of other people in public.

im so sorry.

i wouldnt recommand jumping. there are quite some people that did it. but there was 1 person that did it and survived. she CTB later.
how old are you?

 

[agota676767nekro]

im so sorry.

i wouldnt recommand jumping. there are quite some people that did it. but there was 1 person that did it and survived. she CTB later.
how old are you?

I am Thirteen, (i know I shouldn't be here)

 

[Aflame5926]

I am Thirteen, (i know I shouldn't be here)

brother please i beg you. even through it against the rules.

13 is in face in life where you just start developing yourself. tbh i do find 18 to early as well while my first attept was 19.
im over 30 now. i had my up and downs.

but 13 is waaay to early.

if you really have to go. i do wish you a safe journey. im not able to control you and your descision.

but know that i can't approve this. i cant approve this behavior. through i had my thought from what i was 5.
i copped with it.

seek help please what didnt work for us CAN work for you. it not guaranteerd but nothing in life is

 

[darksouls]

do you know an adult you can trust perhaps a doctor or a teacher?

 

[Aflame5926]

i tried to PM you but you dont have enough posts.

bring up the life story and maybe we can brain storm and help you get into a right direction

 

[Star67]

I agree with everyone else here, you're far too young. Give it a few years at least, I promise there's good years ahead. 18 was my best year, and by 19 everything had fallen apart. I'm turning 30 soon and not much has changed. But you won't know that till you wait and see, and it's worth it for you I promise. Your mind is still developing and you can do nearly anything you put your mind to. I know life can be hard and emotions can be intense, but I promise you'll feel differently when you're older. Best of luck.

 

[darksouls]

are you in an abusive family?

 

[Mirrors]

My friend you are FAR too young. There is still so much in your life that can change so quickly, please please please do not do this. Please share more of your story with us and let us attempt to point you to some resources to help you out and get you into a different living situation. Please wait until you grow into being an adult to make this decision for yourself. You are not fully developed yet and the way you're feeling can and will change as you continue to grow and as you are properly distanced from your abusers. Give yourself the opportunity to feel something different in life and see if it changes anything in how you feel about living in this world.

Please, please let us help you and give yourself a chance to experience that growth before you go through with this, we are begging you.

 

[owo]

you are fucking young its so early to give up despite on any shit that possibly happened to you (or not?) yeah our life is hard but a existanse crisis is not a reason to take your own life