Goodbye everyone!

[deadspirit]

Yeah so today's the day I set to CTB, so I just wanted to say goodbye to y'all. Only been on here about a week, but it was nice not having to feel completely isolated during my last couple days. Wish I could've found a site like this sooner...

As to why I won't bore you with my whole life story, Ill just say that since 19 (I'm 23 now) I've been suffering from Interstitial Cystitis (chronic pain condition involving the bladder) and GERD. Both of these things combined have left me in severe pain that just won't let up, and life just isn't livable anymore. I don't personally believe life is meaningless as some people do, but I think that at a certain point, when your life is just day after day of pain and misery, there isn't any real reason to be here. These diseases have left me a shell of my former self, spiked my anxiety and depression, and made me not the most fun to be around which has screwed up my social life entirely.

I'll leave my method here for anyone else interested. I plan to CTB by SN tonight at 10:00 when everyone in my house will be asleep. I took 5mg of Olanzapine last night, and tonight I plan to take:

9:00 PM - 1000mg of acetaminophen (pain reliever)
9:15 PM - 10 mg of Olanzipine (Zyprexa) (anti-anemic)
9:30 PM - 40 mg of Famotidine (Reduce stomach acid)
10:00 PM - 20 g of SN in 50 mL of water

I'll prepare two glasses of SN in case I throw up the first one.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified, but I'm honestly more terrified of living at this point, so an eternal slumber doesn't sound so bad. Either way, wishing the best for all you guys on here, hopefully you won't be forced to the same conclusion I've reached, but if so safe travels!

 

[Endeavour]

Have a peaceful journey, if you change your mind we're here for you.

 

[Wrennie]

I am dreadfully sorry that your diseases have driven you to this point, but I completely understand and wish you the best of luck with your decision.
It will be a shame to see you go! You may not have been here very long but you made notable contributions to this forum.

 

[aminend]

I hope a peaceful transition for u.

 

[botanormal]

I'm so sorry life has pushed you to this point, you shouldn't be forced to endure so much suffering, it's not fair at all. Good luck with everything though, I really hope your journey is a comfortable one. Remember, it's completely okay to back out if you ever change your mind on anything, and there's never any shame in doing so. But either way, I hope you're able to find some peace. Safe travels!

 

[greyhound]

Sorry it's come to this for you. I would suggest booking a hotel though as someone recently tried SN at home while parents were asleep and were saved due to noise of vomiting.

 

[makingsure4]

Makes sense...what you are saying. Sounds rational. Dr. Raymond Moodey writes about some of the cool stuff that happens after death. He studied a ton of people who died and came back. NDE s (Near Death Experiences) they call them. He has a cool interview on Amazon video you could watch. He is a psychiatrist and has had suicide attempts himself. But maybe you don't want to listen to me. You could be up all night watching his multiple videos and ebooks. But at least one may make you relax some and be ok with whatever decision you decide to make. I think most of us if not all of us here have had similar fears concerning suicide. Make sure it's your time because like they said, noises etc. You don't want to be in a psych ward. Trust me. Unless you've never been then just ask to go or have your bases covered. Pain sucks.

 

[blvck]

((((((hugs)))))))

 

[woknows]

I am sorry for your suffering. I am afraid my condition will force me to take the same route. I would prefer a healthy life for myself too. Makes me sad to read your words. I am not sure what to say. I do not want anyone to commit suicide, but I agree there is no point in a life full of misery. Good luck and there is no shame in opting out.

 

[sadworld]

I'm sorry it came to this I hope you'll find eternal peace! Safe travels my friend!

 

[NodusTollens]

Take care, I hope your journey is peaceful. Safe travels. HUGS

 

[Spitfire]

Yeah so today's the day I set to CTB, so I just wanted to say goodbye to y'all. Only been on here about a week, but it was nice not having to feel completely isolated during my last couple days. Wish I could've found a site like this sooner...

As to why I won't bore you with my whole life story, Ill just say that since 19 (I'm 23 now) I've been suffering from Interstitial Cystitis (chronic pain condition involving the bladder) and GERD. Both of these things combined have left me in severe pain that just won't let up, and life just isn't livable anymore. I don't personally believe life is meaningless as some people do, but I think that at a certain point, when your life is just day after day of pain and misery, there isn't any real reason to be here. These diseases have left me a shell of my former self, spiked my anxiety and depression, and made me not the most fun to be around which has screwed up my social life entirely.

I'll leave my method here for anyone else interested. I plan to CTB by SN tonight at 10:00 when everyone in my house will be asleep. I took 5mg of Olanzapine last night, and tonight I plan to take:

9:00 PM - 1000mg of acetaminophen (pain reliever)
9:15 PM - 10 mg of Olanzipine (Zyprexa) (anti-anemic)
9:30 PM - 40 mg of Famotidine (Reduce stomach acid)
10:00 PM - 20 g of SN in 50 mL of water

I'll prepare two glasses of SN in case I throw up the first one.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified, but I'm honestly more terrified of living at this point, so an eternal slumber doesn't sound so bad. Either way, wishing the best for all you guys on here, hopefully you won't be forced to the same conclusion I've reached, but if so safe travels!

How are you feeling?

 

[MindFrog]

I hope you find peace.. safe travels..

 

[wanttodie]

have a good trip

 

[Thanatonaut]

I hope you find peace. Have a groovy trip.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Hate that it's come to this for you. I wish you didn't have to suffer with these diseases and you could have gotten to enjoy life with a healthy body rather than one that left nothing but torment in its wake. I love Yu Yu Hakusho too. Your Kurama icon made me smile. I hope you are not suffering.

 

[PeacefulDarkness]

I am sorry life has treated you like this. I wish you a peaceful exit. See you on the other side my friend.

 

[Nexuno]

Safe travels

 

[muffin222]

I hope you're in a better place now

 

[CursedForDisaster]

I hope that if you did this that it was peaceful

 

[stygal]

I hope everything worked out for OP and they had a peaceful and painless transition.

I relate so much to the torment chronic pains brings and that it leaves you as a shell of your former self.
It's a terrible thing - some people might brush over with: Just take stronger pain meds or something. But they don't always work and there are certain conditions that leave you unable to take part in every day activities. So it's very sad but 100 percent understandable why someone won't go on under those circumstances.

You deserve being in eternal painless slumber <3

 

[nora.]

im sorry that life has forced you to take this choice. just know we all are here for you while you make your choice. you are never alone when you have us!

 

[LosinIt20]

Safe travels beloved! I hope your journey is smooth and you find the peace you're looking for

 

[happiestman]

Hope everything goes fine as you planned. Hugs. See you soon at other side.

 

[pen]

See you soon.
Safe journey.

 

[Green Destiny]

Hope you get relief from the pain you've been dealing with. No one should have to suffer through years of it just for the sake of being alive.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

Goodbye friend! Hope you find peace!!