Hysteria
Crimson
- Jan 8, 2024
- 52
Dear Members,
I'll attempt to execute Night Night tonight. I'll use a wide ratchet strap and stuffed, soft-cover wrist weights (or winter socks if weights fail). I want to complete CTB. The location is a private apartment alone. I've closed all doors. No one should enter for a few more days.
I've already put my death notes.
The first warns the owner not to see the trauma and calls professionals before opening the door.
The second explains to authorities that it's a suicide. I've chosen to execute it and did so alone.
The third addresses not to burn my body. It is supposed to be a donation to advantage the research I wanted.
Finally, the note right beside my body tells people not to try to understand the why. I had DID. Not all of us deserve suffering closed into a single flesh prison. They might remember one person, but I helped all of us to find peace.
I cleaned up everything, organized my belongings, cleaned my body as much as I could, dressed full black, and turned off unnecessary energy sources. I feel peaceful and anxious at the same time.
Know that I loved every person I talked to here and I'd have loved to know more of you. This community helped me so much to avoid messy failures and find comfort in my final days. In the following hours, I'll be enjoying the company of my dolls and die hoping to phase into a dream with them before non-existence because they are the only "people" I know who didn't hurt me. (And You of course.) I expect no afterlife but wish for a peaceful exit. Probably, it's my last message here, unless I fail, which I'd announce in the following 24 hours. You can guess what not writing tomorrow means.
I loved your company, my hugs to everyone,
Hysteria
I'll attempt to execute Night Night tonight. I'll use a wide ratchet strap and stuffed, soft-cover wrist weights (or winter socks if weights fail). I want to complete CTB. The location is a private apartment alone. I've closed all doors. No one should enter for a few more days.
I've already put my death notes.
The first warns the owner not to see the trauma and calls professionals before opening the door.
The second explains to authorities that it's a suicide. I've chosen to execute it and did so alone.
The third addresses not to burn my body. It is supposed to be a donation to advantage the research I wanted.
Finally, the note right beside my body tells people not to try to understand the why. I had DID. Not all of us deserve suffering closed into a single flesh prison. They might remember one person, but I helped all of us to find peace.
I cleaned up everything, organized my belongings, cleaned my body as much as I could, dressed full black, and turned off unnecessary energy sources. I feel peaceful and anxious at the same time.
Know that I loved every person I talked to here and I'd have loved to know more of you. This community helped me so much to avoid messy failures and find comfort in my final days. In the following hours, I'll be enjoying the company of my dolls and die hoping to phase into a dream with them before non-existence because they are the only "people" I know who didn't hurt me. (And You of course.) I expect no afterlife but wish for a peaceful exit. Probably, it's my last message here, unless I fail, which I'd announce in the following 24 hours. You can guess what not writing tomorrow means.
I loved your company, my hugs to everyone,
Hysteria
.
