Method Goodbye, and Thank You For Everything

[Tuonetar_]

(or, "Tuonetar_ Returns to the Underworld")

Well everyone, tonight is the night that I finally catch my bus. In a few hours, I will be drinking my SN, purchased from DMC.

First of all, let me start out by saying that this choice was mine and mine alone to make, and it was only done after years of research and deliberation. This was not a decision made on impulse, or as the result of inebriation, mania, or psychosis--this is what I, as an individual, want. For that reason, I would ask that no one use this thread to attempt to find sources for SN or any of the medications I have chosen to take. I cannot in good conscience recommend or encourage anyone to follow in my footsteps, so all the substances mentioned in this post will have to be sourced via your own initiative.

I have included my protocol below:

Spoiler: SN Protocol

Jan 13th, 2025:

• 06:00: 10mg domperidone (Domton brand), x1
• 12:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 18:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 19:00: Eat final dinner

Jan 14th, 2025 (today):

• 00:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 06:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
  • Eat light breakfast; begin solid food fast afterwards
• 12:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 18:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 22:00: Begin liquid fast

Jan 15th, 2025:

• 00:00: Smoke last cigarette
• 00:15: 40mg propranolol (Ciplar-40 brand), x10
• 00:30: 10 mg domperidone, x30
  • 500mg acetaminophen (Tylenol brand), x1
• 00:50: Dissolve 25mg of sodium nitrite in 50mL of spring water, x2
• 01:00: Drink sodium nitrite and lay down

Like everyone else, my reasons for choosing to commit suicide are complicated. But simply put I am tired of life and being a human being. I have sincerely tried my hardest to be sociable, successful, and happy, but unfortunately life has twisted and contorted me until there was nothing left to give. I am chronically exhausted and unhappy, I have no desire to continue experiencing life, and I am very much at peace with my own mortality. For years I have felt that the light inside me was extinguished long ago, and I have survived on the final wisps of smoke. But now the wisps of smoke are gone, the light is fully vanquished, and I am ready to sleep forever.

This should not be considered a sad post, however. All things considered, I lived a good life--I achieved a lot of things in my career that I'm really proud of, I lived independently, I fell in love, I went to concerts, I traveled the country, I ate a lot of good food and drank a lot of good beer, and I met many wonderful people and had a lot of laughs on the way. I loved reading, writing, cooking, baking, and the color red. I ate my last dinner at my favorite Lebanese restaurant and I spent my last day working alongside people I really like. It was a good ride, but it's time for me to step off.

I need to finish writing my goodbye letters, so I'll leave with this: thank you. This community has been wonderful to me, and was one of the only places I could truly be myself in my final days. If I hadn't found this site a few months ago I would've overdosed with a random concoction of psychiatric medications and ended up very much alive in the hospital but with permanent liver damage. Because of this site I am able to die on with dignity, on my own terms, and in my own home. Thank you all for everything There is no hate in my heart, only love.

I will stay here and update for as long as a I can, but I am intentionally letting my laptop's battery drain so it will (hopefully) die alongside me. (I'm running this site in incognito mode on a purged laptop)

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

This is beautifully written, and your peotocol is by far the most well established thing I've seen so far, next to seeing a kit for setting ones method during the night of their death. Honestly, I respect your decision and truly wish you have the peace you need. I equally hope to take in your footsteps while following my plan and working towards getting my materials, and please enjoy that last cigarette. It'll be the most rewarding feeling you'll have once it's last ((:

 

[nyapoka]

I wish you peace, from one random person on this earth to another, hugs

 

[J&L383]

I am tired of life and being a human being. I have sincerely tried my hardest to be sociable, successful, and happy, but now the wisps of smoke are gone. I fell in love, I went to concerts, I traveled the country, I ate a lot of good food. I ate my last dinner at my favorite Lebanese restaurant. I thank you all for everything There is no hate in my heart, only love.

Dear Tuonetar, your words, your words . . . have touched my heart. Thank you. . There is a restaurant nearby, and I will dine in your honor. Peace to you.

 

[bigbang33]

Wishing you a peaceful transition. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am sending hugs and love may you find eternal peace

 

[Tuonetar_]

Thank you so much for your kindness, everyone It makes me feel so much less alone. Once again I appreciate this community so much for making my final moments comfortable.

I have smoked my cigarette and downed my propranolol and domperidone. I feel peaceful, maybe even a little giddy. It's almost time to sleep

 

[legoshi]

The part about feeling like your light was extinguished hits home. I wish you well. I hope you find peace.

 

[danny10]

I wish you peace of mind!

 

[Tuonetar_]

A little bit behind schedule, but my SN is mixed. I'm gonna let it sit for a minute and then stir it again to make sure everything is totally dissolved.

In the meantime I'm gonna grab an old Whole Foods bag from my kitchen. Feels appropriate to vomit in that.
First cup down. Tastes insanely briney but doable
1:03 AM MST
Burning throat, nausea, limbs heavy

 

[Forever Sleep]

That was so beautifully written. I hope you find peace.

 

[wanttodie]

good luck

 

[opheliaoveragain]

wishing you find the peace you seek. this was beautifully written.

nothing but love

 

[rozeske]

Beautifully written. May you find your ethernal peace.

 

[Peace2peace]

(or, "Tuonetar_ Returns to the Underworld")

Well everyone, tonight is the night that I finally catch my bus. In a few hours, I will be drinking my SN, purchased from DMC.

First of all, let me start out by saying that this choice was mine and mine alone to make, and it was only done after years of research and deliberation. This was not a decision made on impulse, or as the result of inebriation, mania, or psychosis--this is what I, as an individual, want. For that reason, I would ask that no one use this thread to attempt to find sources for SN or any of the medications I have chosen to take. I cannot in good conscious recommend or encourage anyone to follow in my footsteps, so all the substances mentioned in this post will have to be sourced via your own initiative.

I have included my protocol below:

Spoiler: SN Protocol

Jan 13th, 2025:

• 06:00: 10mg domperidone (Domton brand), x1
• 12:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 18:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 19:00: Eat final dinner

Jan 14th, 2025 (today):

• 00:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 06:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
  • Eat light breakfast; begin solid food fast afterwards
• 12:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 18:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 22:00: Begin liquid fast

Jan 15th, 2025:

• 00:00: Smoke last cigarette
• 00:15: 40mg propranolol (Ciplar-40 brand), x10
• 00:30: 10 mg domperidone, x30
  • 500mg acetaminophen, x1
• 00:50: Dissolve 25mg of sodium nitrite in 50mL of spring water, x2
• 01:00: Drink sodium nitrite and lay down

Like everyone else, my reasons for choosing to commit suicide are complicated. But simply put I am tired of life and being a human being. I have sincerely tried my hardest to be sociable, successful, and happy, but unfortunately life has twisted and contorted me until there was nothing left to give. I am chronically exhausted and unhappy, I have no desire to continue experiencing life, and I am very much at peace with my own mortality. For years I have felt that the light inside me was extinguished long ago, and I have survived on the final wisps of smoke. But now the wisps of smoke are gone, the light is fully vanquished, and I am ready to sleep forever.

This should not be considered a sad post, however. All things considered, I lived a good life--I achieved a lot of things in my career that I'm really proud of, I lived independently, I fell in love, I went to concerts, I traveled the country, I ate a lot of good food and drank a lot of good beer, and I met many wonderful people and had a lot of laughs on the way. I loved reading, writing, cooking, baking, and the color red. I ate my last dinner at my favorite Lebanese restaurant and I spent my last day working alongside people I really like. It was a good ride, but it's time for me to step off.

I need to finish writing my goodbye letters, so I'll leave with this: thank you. This community has been wonderful to me, and was one of the only places I could truly be myself in my final days. If I hadn't found this site a few months ago I would've overdosed with a random concoction of psychiatric medications and ended up very much alive in the hospital but with permanent liver damage. Because of this site I am able to die on with dignity, on my own terms, and in my own home. Thank you all for everything There is no hate in my heart, only love.

I will stay here and update for as long as a I can, but I am intentionally letting my laptop's battery drain so it will (hopefully) die alongside me. (I'm running this site in incognito mode on a purged

I wish you peace of mind!

Check your dm

 

[newstart2000]

Hope you find your peace. This world is hell.

 

[itwillhappensoon]

I wish you find the everlasting peace you are looking for

 

[Alitaaqua6781]

I'm glad you found your peace

 

[SVEN]

Sleep well, rest easy and thank you for your goodbye.

 

[spero_meliora]

I hope you find the peace you seek

 

[billie]

i hope you find peace

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Rest in peace

 

[Gangrel]

We will miss you.

 

[GalacticWarrior777]

Godspeed.

 

[Roadrunner]

I hope your journey to finding peace is gentle

 

[Haematemesis]

Reading your detailed protocol really wounded me. Nevertheless it is your choice and it is probably over by the time I write this. Rest in peace.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Your words really touched me, this world has lost a beautiful soul. But we understand that you need to go to a much better place. Thanks for sharing a part of your journey with us. May you find the eternal love and peace that you so deserve.

 

[Warkman1]

Thoughts are with you

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[parasite_eve]

Beautifully written, resonant words strike true in my heart; wish you peace eternal.