Venting Good thing I'm ready.

[sivvie]

My ex/best friend asked to cut contact with me yesterday because he said it was too hard staying friends when he has feelings for me. He was the only one I stayed in consistent contact with for the entirety of 2021. I woke up from a nightmare about what happened with him and I still feel horrible because of it.

My other ex/friend just said he can't be around me anymore because my suicidal tendencies/ideation affects his mental health. (I don't even talk to him anymore, but he said my statuses on discord make him feel anxious)

I have no one to talk to now, I'm scared of ruining things with the only friend who I talk to sometimes who knows about my mental health issues. Everyone seemed to abandon me when I finally have a solid plan. I guess it was meant to be?

But god. This fucking hurts. I always knew I am poison to be around, but why this timing? Incredible. You win, life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I see it as best to stay away from people as they are capable of upsetting us. Being abandoned by someone can be devastating, I'm sorry you had to go through this. Living can be very painful. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[bleeeeeep]

i wish i had something more helpful to say, but i understand how difficult it is having someone you once considered a friend leave you because of your suicidal ideation/mental health etc. it feels almost demeaning in a way and it's awful you have to go through it, i'm really sorry things are so difficult right now. for what it's worth you seem very kind and caring. <3

 

[sivvie]

I see it as best to stay away from people as they are capable of upsetting us. Being abandoned by someone can be devastating, I'm sorry you had to go through this. Living can be very painful. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

yeah.. but at the same time, I don't want to be completely alone and lonely when I CTB :( I guess it's inevitable, if I don't want to drag people down with me.

Thank you for your kindness <3