Venting Gonna die alone

[123die]

I'm 18. And I have a kid. And I'd really like to have a significant other when I die, whenever that is. But I have a kid. Nobody in my age bracket wants to be in a relationship with someone who has a kid. The one person who doesn't mind... I can't be with him now. So I'm just gonna die alone

 

[SirChuxAlot]

18 is pretty young to say that, in my opinion. Technically speaking, you have your child so you aren't really alone, just not currently with someone who has accepted you in their life... YET. Give it time, I am 30 and while I have been in relationships, I have no kids nor a significant other so at least be happy you aren't in my position where no one will even have a kid with you.

 

[lemmeeleev]

18 is pretty young to say that, in my opinion. Technically speaking, you have your child so you aren't really alone, just not currently with someone who has accepted you in their life... YET. Give it time, I am 30 and while I have been in relationships, I have no kids nor a significant other so at least be happy you aren't in my position where no one will even have a kid with you.

You're not in their situation, please don't tell someone it could be worse. We should all know by now that doesn't help anything.

 

[SirChuxAlot]

You're not in their situation, please don't tell someone it could be worse. We should all know by now that doesn't help anything.

And you aren't in mine. Nonetheless, I never put that it was worse, though, I imagine it could be read in that fashion if read into.

Regardless, the main point wasn't to compare who's life is worse. I was simply implying an example that OP is young and still has time to find a significant other.

 

[Latergator]

When i was 16 (12 years ago), I entered a relationship with a lady who had a child and was kicked out the house. We were both dropouts and having her and the kid around gave me purpose and brought me joy. You'll find someone and you'll both fill that empty spot in each other's life, i truly believe that.

<3

 

[BjartNO]

From the sounds of it, this does sort of sound like a situation that has potential to actually improve

 

[123die]

And you aren't in mine. Nonetheless, I never put that it was worse, though, I imagine it could be read in that fashion if read into.

Regardless, the main point wasn't to compare who's life is worse. I was simply implying an example that OP is young and still has time to find a significant other.

I wasn't reading it that way but yeah, I understand

 

[123die]

When i was 16 (12 years ago), I entered a relationship with a lady who had a child and was kicked out the house. We were both dropouts and having her and the kid around gave me purpose and brought me joy. You'll find someone and you'll both fill that empty spot in each other's life, i truly believe that.

<3

Thank you so much <3

 

[123die]

From the sounds of it, this does sort of sound like a situation that has potential to actually improve

I mean... Hopefully?? There's only two
things actually stopping my life from becoming liveable - I'm fighting my son's abusive, incompetent, shitlicker of a dad for custody of my son. At court. And CAS (children's aid. They take kids away from their families, especially when they're Native. Which we are, in part.)

 

[Raggas]

Not sure if I can relate. I'm too cynical to ever think of bringing a child into the world. Just don't take the child with you if you do something.

But I wouldn't really care if someone had a kid and wanted to date. How do you know that you can't be with him?

 

[SirChuxAlot]

I don't think that's true at all. For the average American out there..(you and I) included the divorce rate is at a all time high like at 54%. People get divorced faster than they were married. Most men can't function without a woman being present in their lives. I don't know why that is. Sands of time perhaps. You are no different than any other single 18 year old with a child. Age really doesn't matter in this case .Men like well cared for women, educated,funny,working. That's a proven fact. I know if you applied your self 10-15% more than what you are now, you could be all those things mentioned. There's alot of money for natives to go to college. There just is. Even if there wasn't, you would get alot of money just by being single and with a child. I saw it alot when I went to college. There was a resource center just for kids to be dropped off. You can do whatever you set your mind to do, if you so chose it .you can always ctb that will always be there. But in the meantime why not better your future for you and your kid? Your age bracket doesn't apply. Look for older men. Well suited, stable, financed. That would only make sense to me.

Oddly enough and speaking as a male in their 30s, this is definitely true. A lot of other guys think it is weird I care for myself such as cooking, cleaning and everyday life necessities and duties on top of working. I did this since I was 17 and find it a bit odd men still rely heavily on women.
I think I have done fine without any help, nowhere near a saint but I think I can say successful.

Definitely have to agree with finding someone older as well. There are still some immature 25+ year olds out there but much less then what you would find under that.

 

[123die]

I don't think that's true at all. For the average American out there..(you and I) included the divorce rate is at a all time high like at 54%. People get divorced faster than they were married. Most men can't function without a woman being present in their lives. I don't know why that is. Sands of time perhaps. You are no different than any other single 18 year old with a child. Age really doesn't matter in this case .Men like well cared for women, educated,funny,working. That's a proven fact. I know if you applied your self 10-15% more than what you are now, you could be all those things mentioned. There's alot of money for natives to go to college. There just is. Even if there wasn't, you would get alot of money just by being single and with a child. I saw it alot when I went to college. There was a resource center just for kids to be dropped off. You can do whatever you set your mind to do, if you so chose it .you can always ctb that will always be there. But in the meantime why not better your future for you and your kid? Your age bracket doesn't apply. Look for older men. Well suited, stable, financed. That would only make sense to me.

So I'm actually mostly gay. Like, I'm a lesbian, but every once in a blue moon I'm attracted to a dude.
I'm actually applying myself a lot, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't understand why you're saying I'm not applying myself, like I have a kid, I have to apply myself, it's not like I'm not trying to finish school and all that (I'm sorry if this is coming off as defensive, I'm not meaning it to, I'm very used to having to defend myself to the majority of people I speak to, I apologize if it's inadvertently defensive).
I'm trying to better myself as best I can.
Also in Canada, no colleges or unis have on-site child care. And I haven't heard of a lot of scholarships for natives.

 

[123die]

Oddly enough and speaking as a male in their 30s, this is definitely true. A lot of other guys think it is weird I care for myself such as cooking, cleaning and everyday life necessities and duties on top of working. I did this since I was 17 and find it a bit odd men still rely heavily on women.
I think I have done fine without any help, nowhere near a saint but I think I can say successful.

Definitely have to agree with finding someone older as well. There are still some immature 25+ year olds out there but much less then what you would find under that.

Yeah, I don't understand how so many guys live like that haha. The dude I'm talking about is 21, and although he still lives with his mom, he has a job and helps with bills and stuff, as well as chores and cooking and taking care of his younger siblings.
As I said, I'm mostly gay. It's pretty rare for me to be attracted to a guy. The guy I'm talking about is one of four guys I've been genuinely attracted to versus hundreds of girls.
Regardless of me being gay, I'm a bit confused what you guys are telling me to do lol

 

[Sickman75]

So I'm actually mostly gay. Like, I'm a lesbian, but every once in a blue moon I'm attracted to a dude.
I'm actually applying myself a lot, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't understand why you're saying I'm not applying myself, like I have a kid, I have to apply myself, it's not like I'm not trying to finish school and all that (I'm sorry if this is coming off as defensive, I'm not meaning it to, I'm very used to having to defend myself to the majority of people I speak to, I apologize if it's inadvertently defensive).
I'm trying to better myself as best I can.
Also in Canada, no colleges or unis have on-site child care. And I haven't heard of a lot of scholarships for natives.

maybe i shouldn't put it that way. I was just using something as contex for visualization purposes.
Im educated. doesnt really mean much. I guess they dont have drop off centers at the college I went to. and i went to 3.
they had them for child development classes/careers. only make would make sense? maybe not.
ya i wouldnt know about financial aid for natives either, fI went to college that was close to the reservation.in S.Dakota
forgive me for offering that advice. They get money from the tribe as well as other grants and financial aid about 5-6 thousand a semester. its alot of dough.
im sure your on top of things in your life. i guess if you had a kid you would want to apply yourself?
i mean, i have a kid and i made alot of sacrifices for her. you dont have to make any for yours or you can. not my place to suggest.
sorry i put that in there, i just assumed is all, maybe going to college or staying in college would further the 2 of you
but i guess not since you are applying yourself in other areas. I said all that previously because theres not much hope for the Indians down here
they get treated like shit, have reservations with no water supply, famine, alcohol and drugs, many suicides. thats why i thought any of that stuff.
sorry. i shouldnt have barged in on your life, I deleted my original posting.and i wont mention anything anymore.
its all good:)

 

[123die]

maybe i shouldn't put it that way. I was just using something as contex for visualization purposes.
Im educated. doesnt really mean much. I guess they dont have drop off centers at the college I went to. and i went to 3.
they had them for child development classes/careers. only make would make sense? maybe not.
ya i wouldnt know about financial aid for natives either, fI went to college that was close to the reservation.in S.Dakota
forgive me for offering that advice. They get money from the tribe as well as other grants and financial aid about 5-6 thousand a semester. its alot of dough.
im sure your on top of things in your life. i guess if you had a kid you would want to apply yourself?
i mean, i have a kid and i made alot of sacrifices for her. you dont have to make any for yours or you can. not my place to suggest.
sorry i put that in there, i just assumed is all, maybe going to college or staying in college would further the 2 of you
but i guess not since you are applying yourself in other areas. I said all that previously because theres not much hope for the Indians down here
they get treated like shit, have reservations with no water supply, famine, alcohol and drugs, many suicides. thats why i thought any of that stuff.
sorry. i shouldnt have barged in on your life, I deleted my original posting.and i wont mention anything anymore.
its all good:)

Aaa sorry for making you feel like you had to delete your original post.
I definitely want to apply myself for my son. I'm trying to finish high school, so until I do that, I can't go to uni or college. There's also only really so much I can do when his dad and his dad's mom - both of whom abused me pretty bad - are trying to take him away from me.
Yeah, its the same here. Have you heard of what happened in British Columbia? At Unis'to'ten. There's a reason why 'fuck Justin Trudeau' is a favourite chant at rallies and marches to do with Indigenous people here lol. ((Justin Trudeau is our prime minister, equivalent to president))

 

[123die]

Not sure if I can relate. I'm too cynical to ever think of bringing a child into the world. Just don't take the child with you if you do something.

But I wouldn't really care if someone had a kid and wanted to date. How do you know that you can't be with him?

I couldn't imagine harming my son. If I ctb I would do my best to make sure he'd be well taken care of in my absence.
And well that's something, but I think you might be the exception. And it's a whole situation. He's in this secret military thing - I'm not supposed to know about it - and until they've fixed the whole thing it's dangerous to me for him to be around me, even to talk to me. I haven't seen him or spoken to him or heard anything of him for months, I'm pretty sure his family doesn't even know where he is.

 

[SirChuxAlot]

Going to be a bit of a long reply, so I apologize in advance.
I can't relate to the whole custody situation so I have no business offering anything there. The most I can say is to continue fighting. Sounds like it will be hell but sometimes our worst battles make us stronger and something to think back on to remember how powerful we can truly be. As the above poster has said, you can always decide to CTB later if all else fails and you can no longer continue to fight.

On the subject of finding a significant other, there are some options. You can try to pursue the original guy you were attracted to and attempt to mend things together there or you can accept what has happened and move on. You never know, there may be a much better person you are attracted to that is equipped to love you and your daughter to the fullest.
There are options to meet others such as in events around your area, there is also the online dating route, it is just important to be mindful of who you decide to meet up with, some people can also be pretty trolling... from what I hear, on the female side.
I know it is awkward coming from a single guy but I actually know I CAN find someone, I am confident in my looks but sadly I lose interest way too quickly because right now, my mind is stuck on other things dealing with my intestinal disease and my current situation.
Bear in mind, you are 18. As I said above, there is plenty of time for you to still meet the right guy or girl, as for the now, you seem to be facing tough issues with custody and I personally feel that should be your main priority but I can't also tell you how to live your life.
I can relate to the lonely feeling of wanting a signficant other all too well but I can assure you, you learn to cope and accept it.

Also, off topic, I am sickened how they treat the Natives. Even here in the states. No one realizes just how much shit you have to deal with. In 2019, you would think racism is over...