going to try to ctb

[icarus3/21]

going to try to ctb tonight,ive made a few frantic attempts out of impulse before but this time i think im gonna do it,i'm running out of time,and i want to catch my ride before april so im going to try the best i can,honestly i wish i did more stuff then just fuck around like i had all the time in the world and miss my planned date by a mile and not even do anything remotely meaningful while i was waiting,i guess this is a goodbye thread if i do succeed,im gonna try to hang myself with my old martial arts belt in my bathroom,i tested it before and all i get is that shitty head exploding feeling,but i think im gonna set it up so theres a short drop so it provides enough pressure without me trying to hard,i guess ill see how it goes,im still kindve scared,but i know if i delay this any further i will have just missed my mark and everything will just be shitty and i wont get the spirit at this specific point ever agIan.i know this has been said before but its that feeling where your tired of living and scared of dying,if this fails or i just wuss out agian ill try to ctb at the end of spring,as for where i will go,i honestly dont know,i believe in god though,i believe that the stars hold many separate parrelel universes that are locked away within them,i sheol (right under earth) is the lowest of these dimensions, it acts as a waiting room and a mid point between the travelling of the dimensions after death,at the center of these dimensions is earth,and the highest of the dimensions is heaven,which nobody except god and the angels can reach,i do not know what lies in the other dimensions,which is why i do not know where im gonna go,i also believe that the earth is flat and NASA is just lying so they can hide the dimensions from us,in my mind no man has ever been to space.

but yeah i (hope?) everything goes well.

also gnomes r real

 

[LeGuitarist]

going to try to ctb tonight,ive made a few frantic attempts out of impulse before but this time i think im gonna do it,i'm running out of time,and i want to catch my ride before april so im going to try the best i can,honestly i wish i did more stuff then just fuck around like i had all the time in the world and miss my planned date by a mile and not even do anything remotely meaningful while i was waiting,i guess this is a goodbye thread if i do succeed,im gonna try to hang myself with my old martial arts belt in my bathroom,i tested it before and all i get is that shitty head exploding feeling,but i think im gonna set it up so theres a short drop so it provides enough pressure without me trying to hard,i guess ill see how it goes,im still kindve scared,but i know if i delay this any further i will have just missed my mark and everything will just be shitty and i wont get the spirit at this specific point ever agIan.i know this has been said before but its that feeling where your tired of living and scared of dying,if this fails or i just wuss out agian ill try to ctb at the end of spring,as for where i will go,i honestly dont know,i believe in god though,i believe that the stars hold many separate parrelel universes that are locked away within them,i sheol (right under earth) is the lowest of these dimensions, it acts as a waiting room and a mid point between the travelling of the dimensions after death,at the center of these dimensions is earth,and the highest of the dimensions is heaven,which nobody except god and the angels can reach,i do not know what lies in the other dimensions,which is why i do not know where im gonna go,i also believe that the earth is flat and NASA is just lying so they can hide the dimensions from us,in my mind no man has ever been to space.

but yeah i (hope?) everything goes well.

also gnomes r real

I'm really, really sorry that life has pushed you this far. Whatever happens, just know that you are loved and worth it. I really hope things get better for you, and remember, it's never too late to turn back

 

[rawglitch]

I really hate my life , I'm not smart enough to plan a ctb correctly

 

[icarus3/21]

update,it didnt work out,i got in a stupid agruement with someone on why i was up so late,and i started feeling impulsive agian,i dont know it just knocked me out of the mood.and when i got my head around the noose i just kinda sat there and did nothing,if i had that set up a few months ago when i was really feelin it i probobly wouldve hung myself right there,i still wanna leave,but its like something about following through pains me,i honestly wish i could get my hands on a gun so it would be just a simple pull of a trigger,i dont know,i dont wanna stay here,but ive gone through so much trouble to try and ctb that it kindve ruins the point.

 

[WornOutLife]

update,it didnt work out,i got in a stupid agruement with someone on why i was up so late,and i started feeling impulsive agian,i dont know it just knocked me out of the mood.and when i got my head around the noose i just kinda sat there and did nothing,if i had that set up a few months ago when i was really feelin it i probobly wouldve hung myself right there,i still wanna leave,but its like something about following through pains me,i honestly wish i could get my hands on a gun so it would be just a simple pull of a trigger,i dont know,i dont wanna stay here,but ive gone through so much trouble to try and ctb that it kindve ruins the point.

I'm sorry to hear your plans haven't worked out but I'm glad you're still with us.
Btw, I'm not a flat-earther but I really like reading and listening to their theories. I think the "true truth" hasn't been revealed yet. There might be aliens out there and we just don't know! lol
You should create a thread talking about this! I will certainly be there!

 

[ClairyFairy]

update,it didnt work out,i got in a stupid agruement with someone on why i was up so late,and i started feeling impulsive agian,i dont know it just knocked me out of the mood.and when i got my head around the noose i just kinda sat there and did nothing,if i had that set up a few months ago when i was really feelin it i probobly wouldve hung myself right there,i still wanna leave,but its like something about following through pains me,i honestly wish i could get my hands on a gun so it would be just a simple pull of a trigger,i dont know,i dont wanna stay here,but ive gone through so much trouble to try and ctb that it kindve ruins the point.

I know exactly the pain you're talking about. I really wish I'd found this site before I'd failed so horrendously so many times because now I'm really scared of failing again. My self esteem can't take it. No matter how many people tell me that it's ok to fail at this particular thing it's not!