what the title says. i've written a letter, have a rope, chair, anchor point, and know what knots to tie. i'm scared but not too scared knowing everything will be over soon. please just give me any final wishes or tips to make this as quick and painless as possible.
the only reason i was hesitant to go is my younger sister, who is only 13. i know nothing will make it better but i tried to leave very heartfelt wishes in my letter. i told her that i love her and am infinitely proud of her, and that there is nothing that could ever separate us. i told her to look at the sky if she ever misses me or wants to tell me something and i will be there. i worry this will ruin her life but i think she will recover eventually. i just cannot live like this anymore- only out of obligation to other people- even though i do love her a lot, more than words can say.
i've been thinking about the afterlife lately and i'm unsure. for background i was born into a christian family but became atheist/agnostic in my teens. i also got into reality shifting/spirituality for a while but it was mostly out of escapism. i told my family in my note that they'll "see me in heaven" so they think i believe and aren't haunted by the thought of their oldest daughter going to eternal torture.
my belief is that when i die there will be nothing, and i'm fine with that. however, a little part of me does hope for reincarnation, or some way to watch over the few people i loved in this life. it's not that i hate life itself, just the circumstances of mine and it might be nice to have a do-over. i guess that does bring the possibility of having an even worse life than i do now, though. i'll just focus on the "nothing" idea.
again, please reply with anything to this, tips or not. i can't really think clearly right now and i feel so alone so it would be nice to get some interaction. anyway, i guess this is it. merry christmas and goodbye.
the only reason i was hesitant to go is my younger sister, who is only 13. i know nothing will make it better but i tried to leave very heartfelt wishes in my letter. i told her that i love her and am infinitely proud of her, and that there is nothing that could ever separate us. i told her to look at the sky if she ever misses me or wants to tell me something and i will be there. i worry this will ruin her life but i think she will recover eventually. i just cannot live like this anymore- only out of obligation to other people- even though i do love her a lot, more than words can say.
i've been thinking about the afterlife lately and i'm unsure. for background i was born into a christian family but became atheist/agnostic in my teens. i also got into reality shifting/spirituality for a while but it was mostly out of escapism. i told my family in my note that they'll "see me in heaven" so they think i believe and aren't haunted by the thought of their oldest daughter going to eternal torture.
my belief is that when i die there will be nothing, and i'm fine with that. however, a little part of me does hope for reincarnation, or some way to watch over the few people i loved in this life. it's not that i hate life itself, just the circumstances of mine and it might be nice to have a do-over. i guess that does bring the possibility of having an even worse life than i do now, though. i'll just focus on the "nothing" idea.
again, please reply with anything to this, tips or not. i can't really think clearly right now and i feel so alone so it would be nice to get some interaction. anyway, i guess this is it. merry christmas and goodbye.
just wanted to share a bit to show I can fully relate to the heartache about leaving your loved ones behind. But we can't keep living just for other people no matter how much we love them. And wanted to let you know it's never a shame to back out at any moment in the process.
