• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
D

ddd1234

Experienced
Nov 23, 2021
268
I cannot stand it anymore. Please, God, end this hell right now!
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: LittleJem, dyingalone123, Manaaja and 4 others
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
10,476
So sorry what you are going through. :hug: I totally understand.
 
D

ddd1234

Experienced
Nov 23, 2021
268
Life was so great just a couple of months ago. Everything ended because of one stupid mistake. That's a joke, a total joke. God, if you have some sense of compassion, please take me out of this state (and erase my memory of the last 2 months) or take me out of this planet, it is your choice.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: almondmilk, Manaaja, Dead Meat and 2 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,276
Being alive is a nightmare. I understand it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless. I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: almondmilk and not-2-b-the-answer
D

ddd1234

Experienced
Nov 23, 2021
268
Being alive is a nightmare. I understand it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless. I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.
I would love to find peace in life but I don't think it is possible after what I've done. I even thought about joining some Buddhist temple but who am I kidding? It will not help me, I will be miserable somewhere else. That's not a solution.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
I would love to find peace in life but I don't think it is possible after what I've done. I even thought about joining some Buddhist temple but who am I kidding? It will not help me, I will be miserable somewhere else. That's not a solution.
Is there any way you can simply travel to another country and start over? You sound like you're a young person with intelligence… Why don't you go get a job with Netflix or Tesla or something like that…? I'm way too old to start again but you are not
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer
D

ddd1234

Experienced
Nov 23, 2021
268
Because 2 months ago I had some serious mental breakdown. I realized my mistakes and went crazy. Non-stop anxiety, depression and ruminating. Couldn't sleep even on very powerful pils. Since then I can't think about anything productive, it's like having a radio in my head that plays 24h per day. Everything triggers me. I could keep my job, it is not that someone fired me. I just can't concentrate, wouldn't even stand 1-2 hours at the office. The some with my girlfriend. I could keep her but I can not spend time with her because of the emotions and mental radio.

When I was at the occupational ward there were some lectures. I couldn't sit for 30-40 minutes because of my emotions (angriness and regrets). I walked, I ran around the room, everyone looked at me like I was some sick psycho. The fact is that I am not, and just 2-3 months ago was the calmest person ever. just cannot stand the idea how I ruined my life. It destroys my psyche.

Now my organism produces cortisol and adrenaline all the time and drugs don't help :(
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: LittleJem and not-2-b-the-answer
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Because 2 months ago I had some serious mental breakdown. I realized my mistakes and went crazy. Non-stop anxiety, depression and ruminating. Couldn't sleep even on very powerful pils. Since then I can't think about anything productive, it's like having a radio in my head that plays 24h per day. Everything triggers me. I could keep my job, it is not that someone fired me. I just can't concentrate, wouldn't even stand 1-2 hours at the office. The some with my girlfriend. I could keep her but I can not spend time with her because of the emotions and mental radio.

When I was at the occupational ward there were some lectures. I couldn't sit for 30-40 minutes because of my emotions (angriness and regrets). I walked, I ran around the room, everyone looked at me like I was some sick psycho. The fact is that I am not, and just 2-3 months ago was the calmest person ever. just cannot stand the idea how I ruined my life. It destroys my psyche.

Now my organism produces cortisol and adrenaline all the time and drugs don't help :(
Well, If this only happened two months ago there is a possibility that with some decent medication and time you will recover to some degree. A possibility.
I was in a similar state as you for the first couple months after my own calamity. But my mind has begun to calm down. My real life situation is a total horror. But I'm not manic, My thoughts are relatively clear.
When I was in that state for the first couple months I had people telling me that I would feel better and that it was a matter of time. I did not believe them at all. But it turns out they were right.
I'm not saying any of your problems are solved or that your life itself is going to improve- I'm just saying that your mental state might improve. Might.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer

Similar threads

N
Replies
34
Views
1K
Offtopic
gnarly
gnarly
Xenoverse_104
Replies
9
Views
536
Suicide Discussion
cme-dme
cme-dme
Griever
Replies
21
Views
666
Suicide Discussion
Griever
Griever
Açucarzinho583
Replies
3
Views
318
Suicide Discussion
Forever Sleep
F
yeaimhere13
Replies
4
Views
221
Suicide Discussion
yeaimhere13
yeaimhere13