Venting god i miss him so much

[emptymiku]

i don't know why i'm so attatched to someone who stopepd caring about me half a year ago. he finally softblocked me on social media yeaterday so im finally sure he doesn't want me around anymore. god, i wish i could die and take him with me. hanging out with him was the only thing that made me happy. even now, everything i've had even a slight interest in is so dull. i wish i wasn't alive anymore. there is nothing to live for, there is nothing to look forward to. he broke his promise to me, i feel trapped in this existence and i wish i didnt have to be here anymore. i relapsed on self harm a few days ago too and now my thighs look like a damn cutting board. what happened to me? why am i like this? why is there so much wrong with my head? why does everyone leave me?

 

[Meteora]

Did he just ghost you, basically?
That s mean. Hm. I understand your pain....
It s tough if people break promises..... Why do they even promise in the first place????
Don t be to hard on yourself because of the SH-relapse. Guess it is very understandable in this situation.

 

[emptymiku]

Did he just ghost you, basically?
That s mean. Hm. I understand your pain....
It s tough if people break promises..... Why do they even promise in the first place????
Don t be to hard on yourself because of the SH-relapse. Guess it is very understandable in this situation.

he didnt necessarily "ghost" me as i was usually initiating all the conversations and i stopped initiating them because i thought he genuinely didnt like talking to me, i know at a point he did but i dont know when he stopped wanting to. then he never bothered to reach out for whatever reason idk. i dont blame him though, if i was in his position i wouldve done the same but worse bcs i dont deserve any better. god i wish i wasnt a horrible person because i liked him so much

 

[aidic]

This is one of the worst things to deal with as a human being: unrequited feelings or love. It's something that is almost impossible to control or easily shut down. That quote from Brokeback Mountain is all too true, "I wish I knew how to quit you." Some people can walk away with no qualms at all, never giving any solace or answers, but when you find yourself really in the shit and you have very strong feelings for someone it can cause physical and emotional problems. Just know that you are not alone in those feelings. When human nature is cruel, it's cruel as all hell