many of the things youre saying go against what is repeatedly stated in the bible, quran, and the tanakh. like you probably couldnt go into a Church/Mosque/Synagogue and say these things because itd be considered disrespectful or disruptive
just a brief rundown, but all affirm that God/Allah has a plan for us, and that we live in an evil world where unfair things can happen. its because of free will that allows evil people to exist because they can exercise the ability to do things that are immoral.
for example in the bible, Job didnt even do anything wrong and his life was basically ruined all because Satan wanted to challenge him and God said deal.
Christians who dont believe in the concept of the trinity are considered heretics due to the relationship between God/Jesus and the holy spirit, but all 3 affirm that he is a literal omnipotent being. That humans will never have the ability to understand his will, and that only his judgment matters, etc.
i dont really mind religion for the most part but id rather just have a personal relationship with God because major religion as a whole can just be too problematic.
I could argue that The Bible has been translated a ridiculous amount of times and in the end no one will probably be 100% sure if ANY of us are following God's word the way it was intended, but maybe that's too basic of a statement. I'm sure we've both just found the reason why this is such a debated topic lol
I think a more believable interpretation, for me at least, is that "God's plan" isn't for every individual person, not for me and not for you, but for something much larger, which people are unable to understand and will probably never know.
It seems most religions can be divided by this same question. I'd actually love to know some of the verses, if you can quote any, which state of a plan for us, apart from Jeremiah 29:11 (Because in this scripture, he is talking to the people of Israel).
Also, I do agree religious communities (not religion, just the communities) can be extremely frustrating to deal with because of countless reasons, so practicing faith in your own way is always best, as long as you stay respectful. I guess in my case that would be not entering a church and stating my opinions lolol
I think, in the end, regardless how anyone practices the faith, it's important to be mindful of each other and debate these things respectfully (even if my tone was STRONG at the start honestly). Heretic people may be judged a little in very orthodox communities, but when it comes to modern interpretations of Christianity, most seem to not really care as long as the 10 commandments are followed and God isn't completely erased from the belief.
I'd say my doubt in God as a physical being came from a very similar experience to OP's, when I was a child. I'm sure loads of children of religious families grow up being told that they were brought into this world as part of something big. I was even told that all children were angels who chose what family they would be born into. Somewhere deep down I hated that idea, because my parents were quite unfit to be parents in nearly every sense.
Even at that age I didn't believe an all forgiving being could be so cruel as to make animals and people suffer. It seemed wrong. I felt that either this God I was told about wasn't all powerful, or was cruel. I don't believe that now, per se, but it's a question that always stuck and always will. Why do people and animals, which did no wrong by God, seem to suffer the most?
Part of me will always mourn the way I had dedicated my whole heart to faith at that stage of my life, but it's difficult to believe in something so complicated when my mind is full of these questions, which I will never have answers for. I feel like I can be thankful that I found my way back to any sort of faith at all right now, since for the longest time in my life, I was completely lost and miserable. Obviously, I won't say that religion fixes all problems, but it always felt like I was happier during that time where I had something to completely dedicate myself to.