Giving life a shot

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Well I've been on SS a little over six months now, and it's become clear to me I don't have the heart to follow through.

But more than that, and as some of you know, I've been waiting on some clarity regarding my future here in the US (am from Europe originally). Yesterday I finally received confirmation that I will be allowed to remain here. So I've decided to try and use this opportunity to better myself. I will attempt to go back to school, first and foremost. I am wanting to attempt a trade, and am looking into being a plumber, perhaps. It seems pretty low-key and not too people-oriented. Plus it will get me out of the house more and allow me to work with my hands, which I think is always a plus for people with depression.

I'm a bit older, 35, and I have some anxiety/fatigue-related issues, so I'm not sure how well any of this will pan out, if at all. But I can't sit around feeling sorry for myself forever.

I do think there is such a thing as rolling around in the gutter for too long. At some point you have to kind of decide whether you want to give up, or give it all a solid try. I feel somewhat invigorated by my good fortune lately, so I am going to try and go with the flow in hopes that I can turn my life around. Because as tempting as it sometimes sounds, I don't really want to sit around j/o and eating pizza for the next 40 years. I'm also tired of being poor, and I think I can make some positive changes in that regard if I persevere with my new plans.

Losing some established members that I was fond of, and this crappy site re-design have kind of helped push me out the door, too. I will likely still be around, but probably posting less, and maybe not as miserably as before, depending on whether I can get things to work out in my own life.

Luck and love to you all.

 

[Donewith_]

May you do well in life and live the life that you wanted to.
hope you get the best out of life..All the best.

 

[reveriewong]

Wow. I'm so happy for you and for your newfound determination to make yourself and your life better. <3 <3 <3 This made my day.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

good for you im happy for you. plumber can do very decent money i heard. its also one of the few jobs that according to mckinsey will never be replaced by robots or computerprogramms


but its also a warning for other people:


most of us here were originally determined to ctb but only a very small minority will actually go through with it

so dont burn bridges. dont let your life pass by in front of you because you think it will be over soon anyways. dont dont ruin your life even further just because you think "im going to kill myself anyways" ...

because the chances that you will actually do it are low and the chances that you will be very much alive but even more miserable are pretty high


the thought of ctb can be comforting but also very dangerous

 

[Norest4thewicked]

@Angst Filled Fuck Up good luck and all the best

 

[DepressionsAHo]

@Angst Filled Fuck Up good luck and all the best

Completely off topic but I really love your username

 

[Memento Mori]

sounds good! go for it. i wanna try the same but dont know where to begin lol, big mess in my mindset and no one can motivate me

the point where to decide either to give up or not? this point is reached every week man, you know that rollercoaster. if you're feeling different than this, that means your motivation got a reason to grow. now care for it so that it can even survive if you loose that reason, the goal is to go on no matter what comes
wish you the best ♥

 

[AveryConure]

[QUOTE="Angst Filled Fuck Up, post: 265819, member:
Losing some established members that I was fond of, and this crappy site re-design have kind of helped push me out the door, too. I will likely still be around, but probably posting less, and maybe not as miserably as before, depending on whether I can get things to work out in my own life.
[/QUOTE]

I basically feel the same way. While the thought of suicide is not completely off the table after I got my official diagnosis of DID and got a therapist who seems to actually give a shit about figuring out what to do with me I haven't really felt like ctbing either unless shit happens like my mom dies or something. So guess I'm going down the recovery road too.

 

[Soon4me]

@Angst Filled Fuck Up
I'm happy to hear that,and i hope everything works out for you!
Good Luck!

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Well I've been on SS a little over six months now, and it's become clear to me I don't have the heart to follow through.

But more than that, and as some of you know, I've been waiting on some clarity regarding my future here in the US (am from Europe originally). Yesterday I finally received confirmation that I will be allowed to remain here. So I've decided to try and use this opportunity to better myself. I will attempt to go back to school, first and foremost. I am wanting to attempt a trade, and am looking into being a plumber, perhaps. It seems pretty low-key and not too people-oriented. Plus it will get me out of the house more and allow me to work with my hands, which I think is always a plus for people with depression.

I'm a bit older, 35, and I have some anxiety/fatigue-related issues, so I'm not sure how well any of this will pan out, if at all. But I can't sit around feeling sorry for myself forever.

I do think there is such a thing as rolling around in the gutter for too long. At some point you have to kind of decide whether you want to give up, or give it all a solid try. I feel somewhat invigorated by my good fortune lately, so I am going to try and go with the flow in hopes that I can turn my life around. Because as tempting as it sometimes sounds, I don't really want to sit around j/o and eating pizza for the next 40 years. I'm also tired of being poor, and I think I can make some positive changes in that regard if I persevere with my new plans.

Losing some established members that I was fond of, and this crappy site re-design have kind of helped push me out the door, too. I will likely still be around, but probably posting less, and maybe not as miserably as before, depending on whether I can get things to work out in my own life.

Luck and love to you all.

The new site design blows, lol, and yeah it seems like some cool people have left, which sucks.

I'm happy for you. I hope you find success and contentment with life. You're obviously a smart guy, I think if you can keep this motivation up, you can achieve your goals. Best of luck

 

[TAW122]

Well, I wish you the best in your renewed attempt to improve your life and I do enjoy your company here as well as your posts! Anyways, thanks for your contributions and we will still be around whenever you decide to visit at any time. :)

 

[AhG]

Don't really know you well, but I wish you a hell of a lot of luck mate! Hope everything works out for you!

 

[Jean Améry]

Well I've been on SS a little over six months now, and it's become clear to me I don't have the heart to follow through.

But more than that, and as some of you know, I've been waiting on some clarity regarding my future here in the US (am from Europe originally). Yesterday I finally received confirmation that I will be allowed to remain here. So I've decided to try and use this opportunity to better myself. I will attempt to go back to school, first and foremost. I am wanting to attempt a trade, and am looking into being a plumber, perhaps. It seems pretty low-key and not too people-oriented. Plus it will get me out of the house more and allow me to work with my hands, which I think is always a plus for people with depression.

I'm a bit older, 35, and I have some anxiety/fatigue-related issues, so I'm not sure how well any of this will pan out, if at all. But I can't sit around feeling sorry for myself forever.

I do think there is such a thing as rolling around in the gutter for too long. At some point you have to kind of decide whether you want to give up, or give it all a solid try. I feel somewhat invigorated by my good fortune lately, so I am going to try and go with the flow in hopes that I can turn my life around. Because as tempting as it sometimes sounds, I don't really want to sit around j/o and eating pizza for the next 40 years. I'm also tired of being poor, and I think I can make some positive changes in that regard if I persevere with my new plans.

Losing some established members that I was fond of, and this crappy site re-design have kind of helped push me out the door, too. I will likely still be around, but probably posting less, and maybe not as miserably as before, depending on whether I can get things to work out in my own life.

Luck and love to you all.

Great news man. The best of luck on your journey. You're quite right: one should choose either life or death. Being in limbo is exhausting and pointless.

Plumbing sounds like a great trade: professional plumbers will never be out of work. Making money will lift you out of poverty and working is a good way to combat depression and a whole host of mental problems.

Keep us updated on your progress if you will.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Best of luck mate.

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

Im happy for you man! The best of luck! I hope you can make this work and be happy!

 

[Jean Améry]

good for you im happy for you. plumber can do very decent money i heard. its also one of the few jobs that according to mckinsey will never be replaced by robots or computerprogramms


but its also a warning for other people:


most of us here were originally determined to ctb but only a very small minority will actually go through with it

so dont burn bridges. dont let your life pass by in front of you because you think it will be over soon anyways. dont dont ruin your life even further just because you think "im going to kill myself anyways" ...

because the chances that you will actually do it are low and the chances that you will be very much alive but even more miserable are pretty high


the thought of ctb can be comforting but also very dangerous

That is quite true as I know from experience. Letting chances and relationships go to waste fantasizing about death. I don't remember who said but it's accurate: 'get busy living or get busy dying'.

 

[15dec]

Best of luck, I hope everything works out well for you ♡

 

[Jen Erik]

Wish you the best and will miss your posts for sure.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Good news, thanks for sharing!

 

[Deleted member 4993]

Best of luck hope things go well for you.

 

[brighter]

Thank you for all laughs and all of the times you've made me think, you're one of the good ones here on this site.

It's made me really happy to see you wanting to try again. I really hope that it goes well and life doesn't let you down.

I have had an email, just hours before I saw this thread, from @JustAboutDone telling me to send messages telling a list of people that she misses them, is sending oceans and oceans of love, and is now happy living her life. Just wanted to pass that onto you. To let you know you're loved.

 

[lemmeeleev]

I hope your life goes well. And you don't have to leave this place just because you've been here a long time, don't feel pressured to leave. We will be here (the ones that don't leave or ctb and newcomers) if you leave and come back or stay. And I hope everything you plan to do works well for you. Good luck!

 

[elizabeth.luck]

I'm rooting for you!!!!!

 

[Dead beat dad]

Well I've been on SS a little over six months now, and it's become clear to me I don't have the heart to follow through.

But more than that, and as some of you know, I've been waiting on some clarity regarding my future here in the US (am from Europe originally). Yesterday I finally received confirmation that I will be allowed to remain here. So I've decided to try and use this opportunity to better myself. I will attempt to go back to school, first and foremost. I am wanting to attempt a trade, and am looking into being a plumber, perhaps. It seems pretty low-key and not too people-oriented. Plus it will get me out of the house more and allow me to work with my hands, which I think is always a plus for people with depression.

I'm a bit older, 35, and I have some anxiety/fatigue-related issues, so I'm not sure how well any of this will pan out, if at all. But I can't sit around feeling sorry for myself forever.

I do think there is such a thing as rolling around in the gutter for too long. At some point you have to kind of decide whether you want to give up, or give it all a solid try. I feel somewhat invigorated by my good fortune lately, so I am going to try and go with the flow in hopes that I can turn my life around. Because as tempting as it sometimes sounds, I don't really want to sit around j/o and eating pizza for the next 40 years. I'm also tired of being poor, and I think I can make some positive changes in that regard if I persevere with my new plans.

Losing some established members that I was fond of, and this crappy site re-design have kind of helped push me out the door, too. I will likely still be around, but probably posting less, and maybe not as miserably as before, depending on whether I can get things to work out in my own life.

Luck and love to you all.

Hello brother, it is wonderful that you have had some good news and have the light shining on you. I hope it leads you to happiness and peace. I sincerely wish you all the best for your future friend. Good luck and peace.
DBD

 

[lululoo]

Good luck!

That is quite true as I know from experience. Letting chances and relationships go to waste fantasizing about death. I don't remember who said but it's accurate: 'get busy living or get busy dying'.

Some of us are in circumstances that make it difficult or impossible to "get busy living". If I had a chance for better health or for a relationship I would try it--basically until the night I CTB I am open to trying things--but there isn't much I can do given the way I feel physically and mentally. It doesn't help me to just feel guilty about it too. All I can do is hope that I get the courage to CTB soon or that medical science makes massive advances quickly that make my life tolerable again. The former seems like the more realistic hope.

 

[Wolfjob_dayjob]

Hope you have a good dinner tonight man. Good luck!

 

[Kyrok]

Best of luck. I too went through the angst of immigration. Learning a trade is a very good decision. Hope it puts you on a path to happiness.

 

[Fucking loving it]

Good luck!

Some of us are in circumstances that make it difficult or impossible to "get busy living". If I had a chance for better health or for a relationship I would try it--basically until the night I CTB I am open to trying things--but there isn't much I can do given the way I feel physically and mentally. It doesn't help me to just feel guilty about it too. All I can do is hope that I get the courage to CTB soon or that medical science makes massive advances quickly that make my life tolerable again. The former seems like the more realistic hope.

THIS THIS THIS THIS

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the love. I was accepted into school and will start quite soon (not plumbing though). In any case, I'd like to stick around here to some degree as this place does feel like home and I've grown super fond of the user base. Plus I'll no doubt be going through some new struggles of my own with all the changes in my life.

 

[Whatshername]

All the best, it always make me happy (as happy as can be) when someone finds a reason to hold on and give life another chance. Good luck!