Given Up on Fonding Anyone to Support from NHS and looking at best way to end life

[Kit1]

I have complex PTSD due to an extremely traumatic childhood and other negative experiences. Reached out to my doctor in Septembet 2021 for help and he was extremely helpful and I was able to call and speak with him when I was feeling suicidal. Basically he kept me alive - important to be here for the sake of my children. Anyway also referred me to therapy through NHS (Community Mental Health Team). Started therapy. GP's surgery changed regulations of how GP can be contacted - have to complete a form (econsult) and I am unable to do this as I find this quite distressing (usually distressed when I need to speak with him anyway and in the past, have contacted him from Beachy Head and places - will struggle with forms and talking about feelings that could be read by anyone. Tried to discuss this with surgery, but 'rules are rules'. So I disengaged and stopped taking all my meds a couple of months ago. Not my therapist has said that she can offer me another 11 sessions and then therapy ends though can look at sending me to trauma clinic. I just want to die now. There is no point being passed from person to person. What is the best way to do this?

 

[FuneralCry]

The best way to leave this existence depends on what the individual can access, sadly we exist in this anti-suicide society where there's the absence of a straightforward, guaranteed and peaceful way to cease existing.
But on here there's a suicide resource compilation section with information about methods, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

 

[Tesha]

Hey Kit1. Sorry to hear you found your way here, but now you are here, please know it's a safe place to talk - without the form filling…

There are many in this forum, like myself, that have been diagnosed with cPTSD. It's a horrible thing and when you can't get the support you need, can cause you to self doubt your worth.

Only you can make the decision to continue living or not, but it does sound like there are still options for you. Firstly, the GP has to offer an alternative means of arranging appointments. If you've been diagnosed for more than a year or the cPTSD impacts your life significantly, it could well be considered a disability. The Doctors are obliged to make reasonable adjustments, so if you feel strong enough please just tell them you will call to make appointments or to be triage'd. If you can't do that, then maybe send your GP a letter explaining your situation.

Secondly, don't write the trauma centre off. I know the one closest to me has a long waitlist, but it does get good results - they don't piss about with the naff stuff as they are trauma specialists, so will tailor the programme to your specific trauma needs.

I wish you the best in your decision making and next steps.

 

[Kit1]

Hey Kit1. Sorry to hear you found your way here, but now you are here, please know it's a safe place to talk - without the form filling…

There are many in this forum, like myself, that have been diagnosed with cPTSD. It's a horrible thing and when you can't get the support you need, can cause you to self doubt your worth.

Only you can make the decision to continue living or not, but it does sound like there are still options for you. Firstly, the GP has to offer an alternative means of arranging appointments. If you've been diagnosed for more than a year or the cPTSD impacts your life significantly, it could well be considered a disability. The Doctors are obliged to make reasonable adjustments, so if you feel strong enough please just tell them you will call to make appointments or to be triage'd. If you can't do that, then maybe send your GP a letter explaining your situation.

Secondly, don't write the trauma centre off. I know the one closest to me has a long waitlist, but it does get good results - they don't piss about with the naff stuff as they are trauma specialists, so will tailor the programme to your specific trauma needs.

I wish you the best in your decision making and next steps.

Hey Tesha,

Thank you for your reply.

I tries to speak to the GP about this several weeks ago and he was sympathetic - but the decision is not in his hands. I was initially diagnosed with PTSD as a teenager and diagnosed with cPTSD more than an year ago. Might also be autistic according to therapist (certainly tick the boxes), but the GP had botched the referral and as I have stopped engaging with surgery, stopped all meds and just planning to leave this planet, an assessment is the last thing on my mind.

I dread talking to anyone new and it takes ages for me to even be able to trust anyone - just don't feel that I can cope with another change in therapy. I have had suicide attempts in the past, but this time I just want to go. It is just that I have two children and I know that I need to be here for them. But this pain is just too much to carry on with.