DoNotLet2

DoNotLet2

Wizard
Oct 14, 2019
684
Still in high school. Abusive parents. They are sometimes normal but hardly ever.
I want to go to the university I can't do a physical job forever it's simply not for me. There are things I want to study at the university. But I'm worried my "parents" would want to control me. They already do to same extent like they force me to go the therapy that harms me. I will go away to the university when I finish high school. Any advice from people who have been through he same?
 
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randomz

randomz

Specialist
Nov 4, 2019
395
Still in high school. Abusive parents. They are sometimes normal but hardly ever.
I want to go to the university I can't do a physical job forever it's simply not for me. There are things I want to study at the university. But I'm worried my "parents" would want to control me. They already do to same extent like they force me to go the therapy that harms me. I will go away to the university when I finish high school. Any advice from people who have been through he same?

It's good that you have desire to study. Your parents won't controll you forever. This will pass and you will have great time in the university.
 
DoNotLet2

DoNotLet2

Wizard
Oct 14, 2019
684
It's good that you have desire to study. Your parents won't controll you forever. This will pass and you will have great time in the university.
But how to survive the university part with little money?
 
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Thereisnothing

Thereisnothing

Enlightened
Jan 4, 2020
1,604
Not been in this situation, but would like to ask how old you are you say still in high school? In different countries the age of becoming an adult varies, once you reach that age then they cant tell you what to do. Its not good they 'force' you to go to therapy, although they may think its for the best for you and might feel out of depth themselves. Regards money, do you have to pay for university in your country? I know here in UK alot of students work part time as well as studying, cost of living over here pretty high. Sorry am not more help but wanted you to know I seen your post and am thinking about you. Take care.
 
DoNotLet2

DoNotLet2

Wizard
Oct 14, 2019
684
18 in Poland we end education late. No, university is free at least the first, not sure about postgraduate university. I want to work part-time job while at uni, but not sure how it will work out. My parents will pay me but little because they can't pay me much.
They think it's good for me, but it really isn't.
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Tell your parents the courses you are taking are required.
 
H

HopeDiesLast

self-banned
Dec 28, 2019
254
You're 18. You're legally an adult, but you have to abide by your parents' rules while you live under their roof. Once you get your own place and pay your own bills they won't be able to control you anymore.
 
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DoNotLet2

DoNotLet2

Wizard
Oct 14, 2019
684
You're 18. You're legally an adult, but you have to abide by your parents' rules while you live under their roof. Once you get your own place and pay your own bills they won't be able to control you anymore.
The problem is I won't be able to pay entire bills at the university. I doubt my part-time job would cover all.
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
Every choice will require a sacrifice but provide a benefit. If your parents pay for uni, that gives them some control. If you want to be independent sooner, you may have to work a job you don't enjoy, but you will be building self-confidence, autonomy, and life-management skills. The longer you are under their control, the harder it will be to break it. If you become independent sooner, you can decide later if you want to go to uni and figure out how to make it happen. Until then, maybe you can find entry-level jobs in fields that interest you, and if you do well, then you can get an education in that field; if you work hard and show promise, your employer may even contribute to your education. You can also seek out mentors in the fields that interest you and get their advice. If they like you and see potential, they may refer you to someone who will hire you.
 
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randomz

randomz

Specialist
Nov 4, 2019
395
But how to survive the university part with little money?

Money are not the most important thing especially when you are in University. People in my country are not rich and university students don't really have more money than what is required for rent/bills, basic food products and maybe a night out like 3-4 times a month. But still we make friends while there and those are friendships that could (and some of them will) stay with you forever. This is what is important.
 
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Smashingairwaves

Smashingairwaves

misery factory
Nov 15, 2018
193
What about taking a gap year? Take a year to save up with your job, and confirm you want to study. Use your saved money to help fund uni
 
Apathy79

Apathy79

Arcanist
Oct 13, 2019
486
It sounds like you need to become independent asap. If it were me, I think I'd look for a job first, move into a share house as soon as I could afford it and study part time.
 

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