Ghosted my therapist

[SMG08ABUSER]

I ended up ghosting my therapist and cancelling my therapy plan in a panic. The first session I had went extremely well. I feel awful for doing this. There was nothing wrong with my therapist at all. I let my negative thoughts get the best of me and I convinced myself that I am too far gone for therapy. I'm considering going back to therapy, but I am still very reluctant on whether it will improve my life or not.

I am scared for my future. It looks like it is very likely that I will CTB before I'm 30. My biggest fear in life is living alone for 50+ years constantly having depressive and suicidal thoughts. I have been experiencing these thoughts for 10 years now.

Just wanted to vent. Still have no one else to talk to about this without causing extreme concern to others I know IRL. I have no one in my life that would be understanding and empathetic about how I am feeling. I would probably get involuntarily hospitalized if I shared my true thoughts to anybody I know in person.

 

[mortuarymary]

I tried and she turned up at my house. No escaping her.

 

[Kimlett]

It's ok. Negative thoughts will win sometimes. But if the first session went so well, I would give therapy a shot; it's not easy to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. If you tell him/her what happened and why did you cancel the session, I'm sure he/she will understand.

I also think you don't need to share absolutely everything in therapy, you can choose what you want to share and it can help anyway. Good luck.

 

[Linda]

I ended up ghosting my therapist and cancelling my therapy plan in a panic. The first session I had went extremely well. I feel awful for doing this. There was nothing wrong with my therapist at all. I let my negative thoughts get the best of me and I convinced myself that I am too far gone for therapy. I'm considering going back to therapy, but I am still very reluctant on whether it will improve my life or not.

I am scared for my future. It looks like it is very likely that I will CTB before I'm 30. My biggest fear in life is living alone for 50+ years constantly having depressive and suicidal thoughts. I have been experiencing these thoughts for 10 years now.

Just wanted to vent. Still have no one else to talk to about this without causing extreme concern to others I know IRL. I have no one in my life that would be understanding and empathetic about how I am feeling. I would probably get involuntarily hospitalized if I shared my true thoughts to anybody I know in person.

Your best option might be to contact your therapist, tell them what you did, try to explain why, and ask if you can start again. If they are any good they will understand. You can't be the first person to have done that. Exprienced professionals have seen it all before.

 

[Kit1]

It is good that the first session went extremely well - that honestly is positive. Therapists are used to being ghosted as it is usual for patients/clients to run away from therapy - running away from ourselves in a sense at a time. I am speaking from lived experience as well as from.prifessional experience. And also it is better to try and get the help now than run the risk of being hospitalised later if life gets put of control. Good Luck.