Getting sick of being a coward

[EmpressDean]

I have plenty of valid reasons to take my own life. I'm so sick of being a coward. I originally planned on Friday a couple days ago, then Saturday, then Sunday, and then today. Fuck

 

[florallobotomy]

Yeah, I feel ya. My SI has been going crazy recently, yet my life's probably been the worst it has ever.

 

[itsgone2]

Yep. Exact same here

 

[EmpressDean]

Just fuckn sick of it. I was gunna do it in the backyard. It's getting rainy season so it should just wash away. Ya I'm selfish watever. I don't wanna overthink

 

[NutOrat]

Same, I hate constantly having second thoughts, while still suffering every second. Even now, I'm almost sure I won't make any progress towards it today. I'll do it, I'll do it... or maybe not... fucking decide already!

 

[lilies.in.heaven]

Feel you.
For me, it's my mom. I love her so much.
It's all planned, I will do it in a hotel room and leave a note just saying I love her.
But I can't get around the fact that she will feel betrayed. She felt that way before when my father cheated on her. She knows I'm suicidal. She already said she doesnt want me to die.

I love her so much. She is not at home right now, so one of the best moments to just send the email for my job quitting, return laptop for them, transfer the few money I have left for her bank account, go to the hotel room, and be dead for 2 days until someone breaks the door and find me.
I'm listening to some audios and seeing some pictures of her. It's hard.