Getting ready for death by firearm

[tirednorthernsoul]

Been a lurker/occasional user for some time here now, and have never made a post before as it often takes me some time to gather my thoughts. The date I've tentatively chosen is less than two weeks from now. I'm trying to start preparing myself. I live several hours away from my family (whom I'm not close with). I'm thinking of making the long drive to my home state in order to ctb in my car in a little patch of wooded road near where I grew up. I know it sounds crazy, but I don't want my family to have to worry about getting my body back to their state for burial.

I'm scared, as the method I've chosen is a violent one. I'm planning on using my 9mm handgun equipped with hollow point bullets through my mouth to hit the medulla oblongata. I assume a hunter, hiker or patrolling officer will find me. I feel bad about traumatizing someone, but it'd be less gruesome than if I was using a shotgun. I went shooting at the range for the first time a little over a week ago, and holy shit, my adrenaline was so high. It was so loud, and the recoil was substantial to me. Am I gonna be able to go through with it? To be clear, the thought of death isn't what scares me. It's the thought of feeling immense pain/not actually dying that's terrifying me currently.

 

[Doombox]

I think that sums up the fear many of us feel about all the methods. I couldn't care less about being dead, but having the process not work in some way, or to have it be a horribly painful experience? SI is often an issue and you don't always know how SI is going to hit till it does. Unfortunately the possibility that you won't be able to go through with it is one that you'll have to accept, as difficult as that will be, and if that happens we won't judge you. These sorts of obstacles are a big reason many of us are still here.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

i think you need to get that shotgun. i don't think a 9mm is gonna do the job.

 

[kniondinky]

I hope you get the answer man I'm actually curious on it too

When I go out I also am gonna do it by 9mm cause thats the only gun I have access to, is the place that you mentioned to shoot the most lethal? Cause I've been thinking straight at my forehead but I don't really know the best spot

 

[Aisley]

Gruesome thought, but perhaps duct tape the gun in your hand, so if it takes two bullets, you don't have to try and find the gun with whatever faculties you have left. Success rate with guns is pretty good. I think it's high 90's.

 

[forever dreaming]

Do you have any second thoughts? What makes you want to ctb

 

[Vizzy]

Do you have any second thoughts? What makes you want to ctb

Don't do this, you are making it worse

Been a lurker/occasional user for some time here now, and have never made a post before as it often takes me some time to gather my thoughts. The date I've tentatively chosen is less than two weeks from now. I'm trying to start preparing myself. I live several hours away from my family (whom I'm not close with). I'm thinking of making the long drive to my home state in order to ctb in my car in a little patch of wooded road near where I grew up. I know it sounds crazy, but I don't want my family to have to worry about getting my body back to their state for burial.

I'm scared, as the method I've chosen is a violent one. I'm planning on using my 9mm handgun equipped with hollow point bullets through my mouth to hit the medulla oblongata. I assume a hunter, hiker or patrolling officer will find me. I feel bad about traumatizing someone, but it'd be less gruesome than if I was using a shotgun. I went shooting at the range for the first time a little over a week ago, and holy shit, my adrenaline was so high. It was so loud, and the recoil was substantial to me. Am I gonna be able to go through with it? To be clear, the thought of death isn't what scares me. It's the thought of feeling immense pain/not actually dying that's terrifying me currently.

Hope you find peace and everything goes as you planned

 

[Zegers]

If i can i will also buy a 9mm.

May we find wellness

 

[00nobody00]

i think you need to get that shotgun. i don't think a 9mm is gonna do the job.

Shotgun is definitely a more effective option, but 9mm would more than likely still do the job if you choose the right round. +p hollows would be ideal from what I have read. But with 9mm there is more room for error than going with a shotgun. I do often think to myself though if you even process the pain from a shotgun blast. I mean, it would happen soo fast and be soo powerful that as long as you effectively hit your brain stem, it would seem like it would be instant lights out.

 

[FuneralCry]

Potentially failing ctb is also what would terrify me, the thought of such a thing happening is so horrible but I also personally don't fear death itself as the fact is that in this world the only relief lies in being gone, death is the only escape from all suffering and I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[picklemick]

I think success is still very effective. I wish I had the option of firearm. Just make sure you're committed.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Oh a gun, a girl can only dream … I'm so jealous, I truly wish I had a gun ….

 

[tirednorthernsoul]

I hope you get the answer man I'm actually curious on it too

When I go out I also am gonna do it by 9mm cause thats the only gun I have access to, is the place that you mentioned to shoot the most lethal? Cause I've been thinking straight at my forehead but I don't really know the best spot

The medulla oblongata, if hit, is like an instant lights out. You should read more about it, it's interesting stuff. I think the risk of shooting through the forehead is if you flinch and miss, or if the bullet doesn't substantially damage the brain enough. I'm not an expert… just going off stuff I read on here in the firearms megathread under the resources guide.

i think you need to get that shotgun. i don't think a 9mm is gonna do the job.

I must admit, I'm nervous about the success rate of a 9mm versus a shotgun. The reason I didn't get a shotgun is because I live in a dense neighborhood. The gun shop/range has shit parking around it, but is walkable from my place. I didn't want to attract attention from anyone (especially neighbors) by walking around with a shotgun. I also felt like it was way more "normal" for me, a woman, to go into the store saying I was looking for something for self-defense that was more manageable like a 9mm. Maybe I shouldn't have cared as much about what the gun store people thought. Oh well. My roommate/landlord is also really anti-gun, so if she knew I had one in the house, she'd freak out. So, these are the main reasons I went the 9mm handgun route.

 

[Gonnerr]

We are all in the same boat , if it was 100% guarantee, there would be a lot less people on this site and in the world.

This is your choice, u have the right to die and the right to live. You decide. Good luck whatever what your choice will be.

 

[kniondinky]

The medulla oblongata, if hit, is like an instant lights out. You should read more about it, it's interesting stuff. I think the risk of shooting through the forehead is if you flinch and miss, or if the bullet doesn't substantially damage the brain enough. I'm not an expert… just going off stuff I read on here in the firearms megathread under the resources guide.

I must admit, I'm nervous about the success rate of a 9mm versus a shotgun. The reason I didn't get a shotgun is because I live in a dense neighborhood. The gun shop/range has shit parking around it, but is walkable from my place. I didn't want to attract attention from anyone (especially neighbors) by walking around with a shotgun. I also felt like it was way more "normal" for me, a woman, to go into the store saying I was looking for something for self-defense that was more manageable like a 9mm. Maybe I shouldn't have cared as much about what the gun store people thought. Oh well. My roommate/landlord is also really anti-gun, so if she knew I had one in the house, she'd freak out. So, these are the main reasons I went the 9mm handgun route.

I appreciate the advice on where to do it, I hope that if you do end up following through that you dont get any more suffering
We twinning with the same method