Getting over a girl

[Politecat]

I need help getting over a girl. We had broken up a while ago which didn't help my mental health since it had worsen my depression. Not only that a girl who I know and got really close to me that I started to like who helped me get help and almost got me out of CTB ghosted me. From what I heard she just feeds off people's problem and once there isn't a problem she leaves, but it hurt me a lot since I wasn't really ready for her to leave me. But now I'm stuck getting over two girls and it's been so stressful on me, school, and work.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It's really hard if you're anything like I was - overly attached as a young guy and always finding it difficult to move on and be carefree about your love life. I struggled a great deal with girls being fickle and lighthearted about everything while I was really into them and hung up on being with them. It wasn't that it necessarily got better, either - it took years of heartbreak and failed relationships to develop a more blasé attitude. So basically I learned the hard way (through bad experiences de-sensitizing me).

I hope that you are able to process this quickly and put whatever you need to behind you in a healthy way. It's always easier if you can somehow develop a take it or leave it attitude, but a lot of us just aren't wired like that.

 

[Lil_Intro_Vert]

I got broken up with recently too, so i feel your pain man. I don't really have any good advice for ya, i just listen to sad music on repeat and feel terrible, but in my experience the more intense feelings of being hurt fade with time, so just try to distract yourself as much as you can and try to do things you enjoy

 

[RyanSuicide]

I think girls aren't worth dying ov

I got broken up with recently too, so i feel your pain man. I don't really have any good advice for ya, i just listen to sad music on repeat and feel terrible, but in my experience the more intense feelings of being hurt fade with time, so just try to distract yourself as much as you can and try to do things you enjoy

I agree completely. Though many people on here don't like positive talk. some will be like 'why did you tell him that? It never gets better!'

 

[Aesthler]

Eventually you do move forward, that doesn't mean you aren't still haunted by them on a subconscious level but at the very least you don't spend every waking moment thinking about this other person. I think it's a process that happens organically just as things come together they naturally will separate and fall apart.

 

[Smilla]

Some people can go from relationship to relationship with ease; I never could, and it's one of the many reasons I want to ctb.

Good Luck, I have no advice for this situation because I am like you—hell, I couldn't even "get over" my ex husband whom I left.

 

[21Neberg]

I was dumped this week, when I told her that on top of my horrible insecurities the scars on my body were not from my cat, they were from self harm. I can't believe she actually believed my lie for 2 months lol.

How am I coping? Well, nobody is seeing me naked except myself now so my entire body is my canvas now. I'm cutting myself every day, and I want to be covered in cuts entirely. I don't recommend this coping method though.

I also cope by playing games and planning my suicide.

 

[LoNatural]

find some good copes until you find another relationship!

 

[Lil_Intro_Vert]

I was dumped this week, when I told her that on top of my horrible insecurities the scars on my body were not from my cat, they were from self harm. I can't believe she actually believed my lie for 2 months lol.

How am I coping? Well, nobody is seeing me naked except myself now so my entire body is my canvas now. I'm cutting myself every day, and I want to be covered in cuts entirely. I don't recommend this coping method though.

I also cope by playing games and planning my suicide.

I'd be terrified to get into another relationship because if it ever got sexual i could never pass off my cuts as cat scratches lol. Plus my inner sense of honesty would feel terrible for hiding how fucked up i am from them

 

[21Neberg]

I'd be terrified to get into another relationship because if it ever got sexual i could never pass off my cuts as cat scratches lol. Plus my inner sense of honesty would feel terrible for hiding how fucked up i am from them

Well, this was my first relationship so I have only just learned these things about myself in a relationship. I now too know that it isn't for me, nobody deserves to be with a piece of shit like me.

 

[Broken]

Moving on can be tricky. I've never been great at moving on. It don't help when people give you that tripe about we met at the wrong time, if it's ever meant to be it will be. That basically means I'm letting you down gently. For me in the past there comes a realisation that you did your best and if you didn't get something right you've now learned an important lesson for the next one. With that way of thinking I have always moved on. This last breakup I've had has fucked me up because I really did care about someone but I messed up. I can't make it right and six months later I still haven't moved on because there's no getting away from the fact that I didn't want to hurt someone but I did. It has left me feeling suicidal because out of all of my ex partners I only hurt the one that would never hurt me and cared and loved me so much until I let her down. Just make sure you always give a relationship your all. Throwing away an oppurtunity at love is a soul destroying feeling I would not wish on anyone

 

[RyanSuicide]

I was dumped this week, when I told her that on top of my horrible insecurities the scars on my body were not from my cat, they were from self harm. I can't believe she actually believed my lie for 2 months lol.

How am I coping? Well, nobody is seeing me naked except myself now so my entire body is my canvas now. I'm cutting myself every day, and I want to be covered in cuts entirely. I don't recommend this coping method though.

I also cope by playing games and planning my suicide.

My last girlfriend I told her I cut myself and showed her the scars and she didn't care. So maybe I was lucky that way

 

[21Neberg]

My last girlfriend I told her I cut myself and showed her the scars and she didn't care. So maybe I was lucky that way

Maybe you were. On the other hand though, if she didnt offer you any support thats not a good thing either.

 

[RyanSuicide]

Maybe you were. On the other hand though, if she didnt offer you any support thats not a good thing either.

I mean she didn't care as in it didn't bother her lol. She helped me and gave me support untill we broke up

 

[21Neberg]

I mean she didn't care as in it didn't bother her lol. She helped me and gave me support untill we broke up

Ah, my bad. That sounds great, to have support like that.

 

[Broken]

I mean she didn't care as in it didn't bother her lol. She helped me and gave me support untill we broke up

Why did you lose her? If you don't mind me asking?

 

[Broken]

Ah, my bad. That sounds great, to have support like that.

I've experienced total love and support for someone. Never thought it would happen to me and it did. Ivet never known happiness like it. Unfortunately even being that happy I still managed to mess it up

 

[RyanSuicide]

Why did you lose her? If you don't mind me asking?

She was flirting with other people while she was away from me. We mutually split up a while after. Bitch was still looking a fuck couple weeks after the breakup and I said no

 

[Broken]

She was flirting with other people while she was away from me. We mutually split up a while after. Bitch was still looking a fuck couple weeks after the breakup and I said no

Sound like it was for the best. Your partner should never do that

 

[Broken]

Sound like it was for the best. Your partner should never do that

No amount of support and understanding about your cutting makes it ok to flirt behind your back. She had to leave so someone much better for you can come into your life

 

[azucaramargo]

It's really hard if you're anything like I was - overly attached as a young guy and always finding it difficult to move on and be carefree about your love life. I struggled a great deal with girls being fickle and lighthearted about everything while I was really into them and hung up on being with them. It wasn't that it necessarily got better, either - it took years of heartbreak and failed relationships to develop a more blasé attitude. So basically I learned the hard way (through bad experiences de-sensitizing me).

I hope that you are able to process this quickly and put whatever you need to behind you in a healthy way. It's always easier if you can somehow develop a take it or leave it attitude, but a lot of us just aren't wired like that.

What a great response, AFFU.

 

[azucaramargo]

No amount of support and understanding about your cutting makes it ok to flirt behind your back. She had to leave so someone much better for you can come into your life

Here, here, Broken!

 

[azucaramargo]

I've experienced total love and support for someone. Never thought it would happen to me and it did. Ivet never known happiness like it. Unfortunately even being that happy I still managed to mess it up

You put that very well. I bet a lot of us on here can relate. I know I can.

 

[azucaramargo]

Moving on can be tricky. I've never been great at moving on. It don't help when people give you that tripe about we met at the wrong time, if it's ever meant to be it will be. That basically means I'm letting you down gently. For me in the past there comes a realisation that you did your best and if you didn't get something right you've now learned an important lesson for the next one. With that way of thinking I have always moved on. This last breakup I've had has fucked me up because I really did care about someone but I messed up. I can't make it right and six months later I still haven't moved on because there's no getting away from the fact that I didn't want to hurt someone but I did. It has left me feeling suicidal because out of all of my ex partners I only hurt the one that would never hurt me and cared and loved me so much until I let her down. Just make sure you always give a relationship your all. Throwing away an oppurtunity at love is a soul destroying feeling I would not wish on anyone

You're so hard on yourself! I really don't think your intention was to hurt anyone. Let me introduce you to some of the callous f*cks in my life, and you will feel like a saint.

 

[Broken]

Hurt people hurt people they care about. But the person who got hurt the most was me.

 

[azucaramargo]

I need help getting over a girl. We had broken up a while ago which didn't help my mental health since it had worsen my depression. Not only that a girl who I know and got really close to me that I started to like who helped me get help and almost got me out of CTB ghosted me. From what I heard she just feeds off people's problem and once there isn't a problem she leaves, but it hurt me a lot since I wasn't really ready for her to leave me. But now I'm stuck getting over two girls and it's been so stressful on me, school, and work.

Awwww, PoliteCat. Know that you have all the love of your SS pals. If it weren't for this site, Man...I don't know. It's such a source of comfort. I am so sorry you are in pain, and that the pain has affected your schoolwork. Please try not to feel at fault. I think you even realized this woman has some "issues." Try to remember what a great, honest, loving person you are, and feel sorry for these other fools. Wishing you some comfort in the painful days ahead. Keep posting when the pain becomes too much.

 

[Broken]

You're so hard on yourself! I really don't think your intention was to hurt anyone. Let me introduce you to some of the callous f*cks in my life, and you will feel like a saint.

No that's the only thing keeping me going. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just had issues myself. Still shit when your sat all alone noing you had something amazing

 

[azucaramargo]

No that's the only thing keeping me going. I didn't mean to hurt her. I just had issues myself. Still shit when your sat all alone noing you had something amazing

I hear that, Broken. I do.

 

[Help_Me]

I can't give a proper advice on this situation as I experience problems with girls for my entire life, but I know what helps others. They just start looking for another relations until they find someone. I never understood that as I am always addicted to one and same person all the time. Also, they try to distract themselves with music, alcohol and so on.

 

[Broken]

I'd love to speak to anyone who's been in a situation where they never thought they'd move on but they did eventually. Especially if you had to deal with regret and knowing you messed up with someone that was a good match. If anyone could offer advice to my circumstances that would be great