Getting Impatient

[CatchTheBus]

My SN won't be here until next week. I just want to end it already. I've been doing a lot of self harm to try to ease the pain for now, but it just isn't as satisfying as it was before. I just want to die, I feel like it can't wait anymore. I've even been looking into antifreeze or overdosing on iron pills. I feel like I'm trapped right now and I can't find a way out. Is anyone else waiting for their SN to be delivered? I'm a very impulsive person and I've failed at ending it countless times now so I don't want to fail again. How do you cope with that impulse to just go for it? I feel like doing something drastic right now.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I'm sorry you're in a tough spot and feel rushed. Impulsive attempts often fail and pile on negative consequences. The best advice I could give you is to try to find something to occupy your time. It can become an echo chamber when you focus on these types of specific thoughts.

I wish you the best in whatever decisions you decide to make. We're here if you ever need to talk about it.

 

[oxymoron]

My SN won't be here until next week. I just want to end it already. I've been doing a lot of self harm to try to ease the pain for now, but it just isn't as satisfying as it was before. I just want to die, I feel like it can't wait anymore. I've even been looking into antifreeze or overdosing on iron pills. I feel like I'm trapped right now and I can't find a way out. Is anyone else waiting for their SN to be delivered? I'm a very impulsive person and I've failed at ending it countless times now so I don't want to fail again. How do you cope with that impulse to just go for it? I feel like doing something drastic right now.

Please don't hurry into anything. You don't want to end up in a state worse than this.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

My SN won't be here until next week. I just want to end it already. I've been doing a lot of self harm to try to ease the pain for now, but it just isn't as satisfying as it was before. I just want to die, I feel like it can't wait anymore. I've even been looking into antifreeze or overdosing on iron pills. I feel like I'm trapped right now and I can't find a way out. Is anyone else waiting for their SN to be delivered? I'm a very impulsive person and I've failed at ending it countless times now so I don't want to fail again. How do you cope with that impulse to just go for it? I feel like doing something drastic right now.

I got mine months ago but I'm waiting for my CTB date, it hurts but I can do it. Be careful and I hope you find your peace (:

 

[the end is near]

I don't feel like doing anything drastic, if my health goes downhill or my mental state deteriorates that would change.

Bless you, I hope you find peace in this world or beyond......

 

[oneside]

I was a little impulsive at the beginning too, but as I'm already sure about catching the bus, I don't mind very much to wait. I'm not waiting anything to be delivered though, I'm just waiting this pandemic issue to be solved so I can travel to a nice place and finally CTB. Meanwhile I'm doing what I can to forget about everything and everyone around me. Drinking is a nice way to spend time I guess, it work for me.

 

[Ulisses]

I am also impatient to ask for my SN and do my ctb. but let's take it easy and wait for the right moment to be sure and peaceful

 

[CatchTheBus]

I was a little impulsive at the beginning too, but as I'm already sure about catching the bus, I don't mind very much to wait. I'm not waiting anything to be delivered though, I'm just waiting this pandemic issue to be solved so I can travel to a nice place and finally CTB. Meanwhile I'm doing what I can to forget about everything and everyone around me. Drinking is a nice way to spend time I guess, it work for me.

I got sober April first last year...it was a way to "help" my mental health. I've been craving a drink so bad lately! The day I go I may have myself a nice Long Island Iced Tea as a send off for myself lol. I'm doing a lot better today. I'm actually getting really excited. My poor family thinks I'm "finally getting better." How disappointed they will be...

 

[braketimez]

I got sober April first last year...it was a way to "help" my mental health. I've been craving a drink so bad lately! The day I go I may have myself a nice Long Island Iced Tea as a send off for myself lol. I'm doing a lot better today. I'm actually getting really excited. My poor family thinks I'm "finally getting better." How disappointed they will be...

Congrats on the sobriety, for real, regardless of how your life will end. It takes a lot to change a habit like that.

 

[CatchTheBus]

Congrats on the sobriety, for real, regardless of how your life will end. It takes a lot to change a habit like that.

Thank you!!

 

[oneside]

I got sober April first last year...it was a way to "help" my mental health. I've been craving a drink so bad lately! The day I go I may have myself a nice Long Island Iced Tea as a send off for myself lol. I'm doing a lot better today. I'm actually getting really excited. My poor family thinks I'm "finally getting better." How disappointed they will be...

I know that feeling. I'm also excited! Somehow that bliss makes me feel even more confident about the idea of CTB. It's funny because people also think that I'm ok, and they barely know the reason behind it. Unfortunately we can't leave this world without making someone cry, but I think that is where the pain of CTB actually starts, and as I chose a painless method, I try to avoid thinking about it the most I can.

Congrats on the sobriety, for real, regardless of how your life will end. It takes a lot to change a habit like that.

As braketimez just said, congrats on your sobriety, that shows that you have tried the best you could.