"Getting Help" didn't help. What now?

[PreCambrianBliss]

A few months ago I was at my limit. I had a rope all tied up and was ready to kill myself any day, but through all the emotion I messaged my Mom and said I needed help.

I went to therapy and opened up about my suicidality but... I just didn't feel anything. I didn't cry or feel a connection, it was just kinda awkward. Everything they told me I had already thought about, we just simply had a difference in opinion about the philosophy of life and death. I had nothing to say, nothing to ask. I didn't feel any better or more hopeful. Tried a few more sessions and another therapist and it was even less helpful.

I tried antidepressants too. Went through a few of them before finding one that kinda worked. That is, it's easier to get up each day and talk to people but the depression is still there, and I'm still on this site.

I don't need pills or someone who's paid to talk to me. I need REAL help with REAL solutions that actually make life worth living. Help is not available.

 

[life360d_on_me]

A few months ago I was at my limit. I had a rope all tied up and was ready to kill myself any day, but through all the emotion I messaged my Mom and said I needed help.

I went to therapy and opened up about my suicidality but... I just didn't feel anything. I didn't cry or feel a connection, it was just kinda awkward. Everything they told me I had already thought about, we just simply had a difference in opinion about the philosophy of life and death. I had nothing to say, nothing to ask. I didn't feel any better or more hopeful. Tried a few more sessions and another therapist and it was even less helpful.

I tried antidepressants too. Went through a few of them before finding one that kinda worked. That is, it's easier to get up each day and talk to people but the depression is still there, and I'm still on this site.

I don't need pills or someone who's paid to talk to me. I need REAL help with REAL solutions that actually make life worth living. Help is not available.

I started a whatsapp group for people trying to heal. You're more than welcome to join. I really hope you find solutions!

 

[Abyssal]

Hit the same roadblock, only way I kinda recovered was literally not thinking of suicide, which is some bullshit advice if I ever heard it. I did it and even I cringe at my "cure" because it just doesn't work that way.

That said, when I was unable to just stop thinking like a goddamn npc about my own death, the inability for the help to actually help was my most driving factor. I really could've done it so many times, hopelessness is the best means of killing SI. I feel for your situation, I have been in it and I'm sure I will return to it one day. When the time comes, maybe I'll see you on the otherside

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I went to therapy and opened up about my suicidality but... I just didn't feel anything. I didn't cry or feel a connection, it was just kinda awkward. Everything they told me I had already thought about, we just simply had a difference in opinion about the philosophy of life and death. I had nothing to say, nothing to ask. I didn't feel any better or more hopeful. Tried a few more sessions and another therapist and it was even less helpful.

I don't need pills or someone who's paid to talk to me. I need REAL help with REAL solutions that actually make life worth living. Help is not available.

I've had the exact same experience with therapy, right down to the "Everything they told me I had already thought about, we just simply had a difference of opinion about the philosophy of life and death." Some of the questions I've been asked were almost insulting to my intelligence. And for some reason, various "professionals" have made a point of commenting on the fact that I'm nonchalant when I talk about my suicidality (which is true), like are they expecting me to be in emotional tatters? Is it so unbelievable that someone could think about suicide rationally?

It would have made literally no difference if I had just had a friend I could open up to, in fact that would probably have been better because at least that person would have a personal connection to me.

 

[AkaRed]

As someone literally in (what I call) 'attempted recovery' right now, yeah I honestly feel insanely overwhelmed and numb at the same time. I haven't gone back into traditional therapy, because every time I tried it I just hated it more than the last. I'm trying to think of alternatives to medication, because I have a personal hate for them. I'm only in this stage right now because my ideal method of CTB is not easy to access, and I'm struggling to find resources.
My main issues are ones that require kind of dumb luck and finding the right people, and I don't really live in a location with any good options for my interests or age bracket. My work doesn't give much results either.

For the most part, I am completely trapped as it is and all I have is myself. Traditional options aren't appealing and often don't work, because they're not what I need. Helplines and all that are some of the most horrible places I've gone to for support before.

Hope gets dimmer with every day that I wake up.

<3

 

[uncat_]

As someone literally in (what I call) 'attempted recovery' right now, yeah I honestly feel insanely overwhelmed and numb at the same time. I haven't gone back into traditional therapy, because every time I tried it I just hated it more than the last. I'm trying to think of alternatives to medication, because I have a personal hate for them. I'm only in this stage right now because my ideal method of CTB is not easy to access, and I'm struggling to find resources.
My main issues are ones that require kind of dumb luck and finding the right people, and I don't really live in a location with any good options for my interests or age bracket. My work doesn't give much results either.

For the most part, I am completely trapped as it is and all I have is myself. Traditional options aren't appealing and often don't work, because they're not what I need. Helplines and all that are some of the most horrible places I've gone to for support before.

Hope gets dimmer with every day that I wake up.

<3

psychedelics? theyve shown to really help people in recovery

 

[AkaRed]

psychedelics? theyve shown to really help people in recovery

Probably would have to go through some process for it. I can try, but it might mean more therapy, traditional medications, etc before I can have access. That's just my assumption though tbf.
If it were up to me I'd just CTB already with something peaceful like SN :')

<3

 

[uncat_]

Probably would have to go through some process for it. I can try, but it might mean more therapy, traditional medications, etc before I can have access. That's just my assumption though tbf.
If it were up to me I'd just CTB already with something peaceful like SN :')

<3

oh i just mean taking a trip on shrooms or something to fix your brain slightly, if you still want to recover

 

[f1rebender]

I've known im gonna kill myself for weeks ive been hanging on but today's the day I think. im going to drown myself in my bathtub

 

[AkaRed]

oh i just mean taking a trip on shrooms or something to fix your brain slightly, if you still want to recover

dont have access

<3

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What is the "help" you need to solve the problem that makes you suicidal? Can you answer this question for yourself?

I need REAL help with REAL solutions that actually make life worth living.

What makes your life worth living?

In my case I know that only money can make my life worth living and that is the reason why I consider suicide - I have everything else - but I cannot enjoy it bc due to the lack of money I'm doomed to rot at home.

So yeah, in my case neither therapy nor meds can solve the problem.

Wbu?