goodoldnoname923
Wanting to find peace
- Mar 28, 2024
- 835
A commonplace issue i've had for many years in serval forms sadly ^^'
I remember secondary school where i had this bully going around making up lies and shit about me and no one would ever come to me tell me these things or ask for my side
Online i would have people be nasty and unkind which would cause me to react in a way and people twist me words make me look like something i'm not or whatever without asking for my side
Or even times when i get something wrong,i act impulsively or emotionally irrationally or even do something really fucked up. Again the rumour mill spins and i become literal hitler…this is something i've suffered from for serveal years irl on platforms like amino being a heavy example of this discord from time to time other the years just many situations were people will spread stuff about me wether genuine twisted or outright false and people will never actually confront me and ask "why did you say this,or did you do that? Or is this real?" So on and forth…no one ever really tries to ask for my side of things they either assume dont care or just believe whatever others say about me and I can't say it isn't a touchy topic for me
Yet despite this happening so frequently you think they would be an acceptable of "well that's just how things are" but i just don't…perhaps i'm too stubborn or have too much fight or maybe i'm just still too emotional or sensitive idk
I'm not gonna wish for the world or people to be different as thats one thing i have accepted people are just ignorant alot of the time wether they hold or mean ill will or not
It's especially harder when you can barely understand why you do things alot of the time…if i look back at actions or certain things i do to this day i struggle to understand them…very few commonalitys exist one of them being i don't hold malice in anything i do…yes anything
I believe in love over war anyday of the week (and not politically) i would rather be everyones friend than be anyones enemy…i would rather everyone like each other than everyone hate eachother like that often happens in this world
But again just an emotional vent somewhat topical I'll acknowledge but it's also a commonplace tread in my life i don't really see stopping anytime soon unless i became ok with isolation or i cease to exist which i also hope or believe is soon but i've been saying that for 5 months now…like united winning the league it'll happen when it happens
I remember secondary school where i had this bully going around making up lies and shit about me and no one would ever come to me tell me these things or ask for my side
Online i would have people be nasty and unkind which would cause me to react in a way and people twist me words make me look like something i'm not or whatever without asking for my side
Or even times when i get something wrong,i act impulsively or emotionally irrationally or even do something really fucked up. Again the rumour mill spins and i become literal hitler…this is something i've suffered from for serveal years irl on platforms like amino being a heavy example of this discord from time to time other the years just many situations were people will spread stuff about me wether genuine twisted or outright false and people will never actually confront me and ask "why did you say this,or did you do that? Or is this real?" So on and forth…no one ever really tries to ask for my side of things they either assume dont care or just believe whatever others say about me and I can't say it isn't a touchy topic for me
Yet despite this happening so frequently you think they would be an acceptable of "well that's just how things are" but i just don't…perhaps i'm too stubborn or have too much fight or maybe i'm just still too emotional or sensitive idk
I'm not gonna wish for the world or people to be different as thats one thing i have accepted people are just ignorant alot of the time wether they hold or mean ill will or not
It's especially harder when you can barely understand why you do things alot of the time…if i look back at actions or certain things i do to this day i struggle to understand them…very few commonalitys exist one of them being i don't hold malice in anything i do…yes anything
I believe in love over war anyday of the week (and not politically) i would rather be everyones friend than be anyones enemy…i would rather everyone like each other than everyone hate eachother like that often happens in this world
But again just an emotional vent somewhat topical I'll acknowledge but it's also a commonplace tread in my life i don't really see stopping anytime soon unless i became ok with isolation or i cease to exist which i also hope or believe is soon but i've been saying that for 5 months now…like united winning the league it'll happen when it happens
