Venting getting bad again

[ninevoltheart]

the past week i've been having all kinds of random suicidal thoughts, or feeling bad about myself. so i should've seen this coming. but its hitting me all at once now, like an oncoming train that i can't avoid

i'm trying therapy, trying to get better. but i can't get on meds until i get medical clearance, and a PGT test. but i can't get the medical clearance until i do a bunch of tests, and i don't know that i can afford the PGT. so for the next few months i'm still stuck in the endless, cyclic hell

i just want someone to tell me that this is pointless. kill my hope, because why should i have any? just have someone tell it to me straight that there's nothing left for me to long for. i know nobody wants to be the person who does, but i can't keep living with the thoughts in my head but with nobody backing them up

 

[Worndown]

Is any assistance available? Many counties and cities do have programs. Even something voluntary might get you the medications you need fairly quickly. Not a great option, but it does not sound like there are others.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really tiring being in that situation, it's dreadful how people have to suffer so much in this existence. But anyway best wishes.

 

[letmejoindeath]

Being on medication's didn't really make me likeable or fix any of my problems.

Now im just depressed with more dopamine.