Venting Getting a job/growing up

[lackadazeE]

My dad came home and he immediately asked if I got any word back about jobs when I just applied yesterday and when I said I hadn't yet applied for more jobs he said "you can't sit on the couch and be a lazy fat blob of shit for the rest of your life" and went on about how I leave a mess everywhere I go as if I didn't just clean the dishes and fold my laundry even if I clean he's still gonna get made fuck this what is the point of anything? I'm so fucking tired of it all

why is life just forcing yourself to find an unfulfilling job with shitty pay day in day out on repeat until you die? Why did I have to be born into a family that doesn't respect me, my beliefs, my "passions", my boundaries, and my identity

For a year now my family has been pressuring me about getting a job and going to college and I've tried but I'm just so tired and don't even want a job. I feel like there isn't any choice but to end it all at this point but I don't think I could do that to my only friend who's in the same boat as me

I wish I was prepared more for the real world I wish I wasn't born so fucked then I could've actually functioned properly in society but no I'm saddled with depression, anxiety, dysphoria, and autism, and so much shit it just isn't fair and nobody accommodates me

My family hates me for it. I hate myself. This all really got away from the main point. I guess if anyone has any advice. I've looked for jobs online and have applied to many but have gotten ghosted/rejected by all of them. I've only had one job in my life and I was so miserable there I kept skipping work since I couldn't quit til I graduated high school. And now that I'm out of school I wish I could just go back it was way simpler. People actually cared about me and I felt like I was actually doing shit with my life rather than living up to everything my dad says about me.

Sorry this is such a mess I've just finished crying and my head hurts so bad.

 

[sugarb]

My dad came home and he immediately asked if I got any word back about jobs when I just applied yesterday and when I said I hadn't yet applied for more jobs he said "you can't sit on the couch and be a lazy fat blob of shit for the rest of your life" and went on about how I leave a mess everywhere I go as if I didn't just clean the dishes and fold my laundry even if I clean he's still gonna get made fuck this what is the point of anything? I'm so fucking tired of it all

why is life just forcing yourself to find an unfulfilling job with shitty pay day in day out on repeat until you die? Why did I have to be born into a family that doesn't respect me, my beliefs, my "passions", my boundaries, and my identity

For a year now my family has been pressuring me about getting a job and going to college and I've tried but I'm just so tired and don't even want a job. I feel like there isn't any choice but to end it all at this point but I don't think I could do that to my only friend who's in the same boat as me

I wish I was prepared more for the real world I wish I wasn't born so fucked then I could've actually functioned properly in society but no I'm saddled with depression, anxiety, dysphoria, and autism, and so much shit it just isn't fair and nobody accommodates me

My family hates me for it. I hate myself. This all really got away from the main point. I guess if anyone has any advice. I've looked for jobs online and have applied to many but have gotten ghosted/rejected by all of them. I've only had one job in my life and I was so miserable there I kept skipping work since I couldn't quit til I graduated high school. And now that I'm out of school I wish I could just go back it was way simpler. People actually cared about me and I felt like I was actually doing shit with my life rather than living up to everything my dad says about me.

Sorry this is such a mess I've just finished crying and my head hurts so bad.

It's not your fault you have trouble with this, like 75%-ish of autistics aren't employed. please don't hate yourself for that

You lost a bunch of water crying, go drink some and wash your face, you'll feel a bit better

 

[enduringwinter]

Your dad was an ass. People have no empathy these days.

 

[drag201]

I absolutely relate. I had a lot of problems with past jobs because I never felt comfortable in a working space, same reasons as you, dysphoria and anxiety especially. My parents also absolutely crush me me about finding a job, say things like I wouldnt have a future or that I'd have to live off of them forever etc. I'm sorry your family isn't understanding, but please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. I know you are trying your best at working and finding a new job and it's very hard to face all of those struggles head on especially for many days straight. My problem is that pretty much every job requires heavy socialisation 24/7 and it drains me and gives me anxiety attacks. But if you are looking to just get some money for yourself and maybe try and adapt better to working, have you tried applying to any part time jobs? Usually they don't look for people with experience filled resumes and they are usually pretty light jobs mentally and physically. No matter what you choose to do, take your time. You are giving your all to try and find something, and even though your family doesn't see that, it doesn't mean its not true. I find it really sad as well that we have to live this cycle for years and years until we retire/die. But it's the system we are in. I hope you are doing well, take care. You will find something soon :)

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I hope every prospective parent realizes that having a child like you is a higher probablility than they all think. And you aren't even wrong for wanting to live this way, and you obviously didn't choose to live this way by choice. But you are justified nonetheless. After all, you did not ask to be brought into this world.

That being said, you only have 2 choices at this point. You either have to suck it up and give in to your parent's rules and demands...or CTB. Slothing around is not good for your family and it most certainly isn't good for you.

 

[Glaski]

You remind me a lot of myself years ago, eventually I became so miserable that work was a relief. Now it's just like a medication for me. If I tire my brain out and beat the hell out of my body, I don't feel pain. Even if it's just for a night, the relief is worth it.

 

[SilverFog]

You remind me a lot of myself years ago, eventually I became so miserable that work was a relief. Now it's just like a medication for me. If I tire my brain out and beat the hell out of my body, I don't feel pain. Even if it's just for a night, the relief is worth it.

Wish I was like you, whenever I come home I always feel worse than when I got to work. Unless I've got weed or some shit to calm down. Also for OP I'm really sorry about all that, that shits awful. Being forced to just figure shit out like that sucks and I wish you luck for your future.

 

[Glaski]

Wish I was like you, whenever I come home I always feel worse than when I got to work. Unless I've got weed or some shit to calm down. Also for OP I'm really sorry about all that, that shits awful. Being forced to just figure shit out like that sucks and I wish you luck for your future.

Don't, it's a special kind of hell. I smoke constantly to make it work.