Gatekeeping suicidality and what-not.

[Un-]

I'm not gonna make this a philosophical spiel. It's more about something I've.. I guess, felt.

You know you hear of stories of people saying how they were depressed or had problems or whatever it may be, but they pulled through and they're happy now. I sometimes wonder to myself if they were ever really suicidal or depressed or whatever. And if they were, maybe it wasn't so severe.

This is gonna get ugly. Because it's gonna be pain-lympics, and everything but I think it's something to think about.

I mean you can go FuneralCry's route and say that regardless of what happened, you're in pain, and you know what's best. Or you can go with Ge0rge's POV, and say that there are some valid reasons for committing suicide.

Another thing to consider is: what is "suicidal" and shit? If you somehow recover, were you really fucked up? Or was it to a mild degree? Like seasonal depression, or situational depression, or like when you come on SaSu every 5 months or so because you're not always in a bad space. I don't know.

I mean there won't be a consensus because we don't know what we're talking about. I don't know your pain, and oppositely you don't know mine. For all we know, my being in serious suicidal thoughts every day could be equivalent to the bouts of depression you have every 5 days or so. Meh. Food for thought I suppose.

 

[emgrl]

I know what you mean. I see others on here, and not taking anything away from their pain… but, I would give Anything if that were my situation.

There's definitely degrees of depression and anxiety… there must be for CTB as well. I know my sister says all the time "these kids are so crazy, I'm gonna kill myself". She clearly doesn't mean it like I do, even though the thought was there for a split second to say it. Of course she'll never act on it, it was just a figure of speech.

That being said, before my trauma, I wouldn't even say things like that. Not because I was better than her, or anyone else, I just really Never thought about it, even in a fleeting, casual way.

I have never felt like this. It's the most awful way to live. I wouldn't wish it in anyone, yet still I wonder… why is it so hard to CTB?

 

[Littlewittlelight]

I know what you mean. I see others on here, and not taking anything away from their pain… but, I would give Anything if that were my situation.

There's definitely degrees of depression and anxiety… there must be for CTB as well. I know my sister says all the time "these kids are so crazy, I'm gonna kill myself". She clearly doesn't mean it like I do, even though the thought was there for a split second to say it. Of course she'll never act on it, it was just a figure of speech.

That being said, before my trauma, I wouldn't even say things like that. Not because I was better than her, or anyone else, I just really Never thought about it, even in a fleeting, casual way.

I have never felt like this. It's the most awful way to live. I wouldn't wish it in anyone, yet still I wonder… why is it so hard to do?

I agree everyone's view is different some use suicide as a coping mechanism like instead of threatening others person's life they say to themselves I will kill myself and it keeps them going. Once they get better they are back on track and I read like around 70% of the people have had thought of suicide atleast once in lifetime and out of those 10-20% have considered it seriously at a point which means even considering it for just one single time so people have thoughts and being suicidal is normal I guess? Although I agree noone shares these thoughts. I can say pro lifers would have said to themselves atleast once just like you said your sister did *I would kill myself if it happens again* but they would barely go through it. It's like being lost in the moment but if they aren't on the verge yet they wouldn't do it.

 

[LaughToNotCry]

I'm not gonna make this a philosophical spiel. It's more about something I've.. I guess, felt.

You know you hear of stories of people saying how they were depressed or had problems or whatever it may be, but they pulled through and they're happy now. I sometimes wonder to myself if they were ever really suicidal or depressed or whatever. And if they were, maybe it wasn't so severe.

This is gonna get ugly. Because it's gonna be pain-lympics, and everything but I think it's something to think about.

I mean you can go FuneralCry's route and say that regardless of what happened, you're in pain, and you know what's best. Or you can go with Ge0rge's POV, and say that there are some valid reasons for committing suicide.

Another thing to consider is: what is "suicidal" and shit? If you somehow recover, were you really fucked up? Or was it to a mild degree? Like seasonal depression, or situational depression, or like when you come on SaSu every 5 months or so because you're not always in a bad space. I don't know.

I mean there won't be a consensus because we don't know what we're talking about. I don't know your pain, and oppositely you don't know mine. For all we know, my being in serious suicidal thoughts every day could be equivalent to the bouts of depression you have every 5 days or so. Meh. Food for thought I suppose.

Pain (both mental and physical) is subjective like everything else, there are people that kill themselves because their girfriend broke up with them and people with the most horrible health condition that fight to live.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so annoying when people gatekeep suicide and say that it's only valid in certain circumstances or is only valid for a certain age. People who gatekeep suicide are just delusional pro lifers. If they saw life for what it really is then they wouldn't gatekeep suicide. And also the type of people who gatekeep suicide are usually arrogant older people who think that they know better than everyone else.

I just don't get why anyone else thinks they have any right to interfere and decide what is best for someone else. They are not experiencing that persons life and after all we all experience life differently. We all have different limits as to what we can cope with after all. Nobody should be forced to live against their wishes and it isn't like we have any obligation to live in the first place. Not even all suicidal people suffer to a great extent, I think that some would rather just take control over when they die rather than it being out of their control and some simply just don't like living.

And suicide could never be wrong, no matter what, that is a fact. To die removes all problems and prevents all suffering. The non existent have no problems or concerns. As long as someone lives they have the potential to experience pain to such great extents which is why the thought of non existence appeals to me so much.

 

[actual_fox]

I would want to say something, but I do not know what the question is in here (sorry)??

Like: What are really suicidal people and which ones are just here for short period of time just to recover? I will guess that this is a subject of conversation, but idk.

 

[Un-]

I would want to say something, but I do not know what the question is in here (sorry)??

Like: What are really suicidal people and which ones are just here for short period of time just to recover? I will guess that this is a subject of conversation, but idk.

It's not really a question. I'm more or less asking if you have ever thought about it, or if you have anything to say about it.

It's rhetorical, almost. I don't know if there is an answer.

I know what you mean. I see others on here, and not taking anything away from their pain… but, I would give Anything if that were my situation.

There's definitely degrees of depression and anxiety… there must be for CTB as well. I know my sister says all the time "these kids are so crazy, I'm gonna kill myself". She clearly doesn't mean it like I do, even though the thought was there for a split second to say it. Of course she'll never act on it, it was just a figure of speech.

That being said, before my trauma, I wouldn't even say things like that. Not because I was better than her, or anyone else, I just really Never thought about it, even in a fleeting, casual way.

I have never felt like this. It's the most awful way to live. I wouldn't wish it in anyone, yet still I wonder… why is it so hard to do?

I mean I wouldn't wanna be in other people's situations. People have shit lives. It's pain, but it's different. Well that's the some of us. There are people here, or everywhere, that.. Objectively, their life is great. Or would be better than your situation.

My god I'm contradicting myself so much heh. Fuck it.

I definitely know people like your sister. I mean, usually, there's meaning behind jokes. The people I know that joke about killing themselves actually have suicidal thoughts, or their lives suck. It's such a privilege for the idea of suicide to be off-putting, or to never cross your mind.

I agree everyone's view is different some use suicide as a coping mechanism like instead of threatening others person's life they say to themselves I will kill myself and it keeps them going. Once they get better they are back on track and I read like around 70% of the people have had thought of suicide atleast once in lifetime and out of those 10-20% have considered it seriously at a point which means even considering it for just one single time so people have thoughts and being suicidal is normal I guess? Although I agree noone shares these thoughts. I can say pro lifers would have said to themselves atleast once just like you said your sister did *I would kill myself if it happens again* but they would barely go through it. It's like being lost in the moment but if they aren't on the verge yet they wouldn't do it.

One of the problems about it is that people deem themselves experts in suicidality because of it. They had flashes of killing themselves, so they somehow someway think they're on the same "tier" as someone who has suicidal thoughts everyday. It's one of the reasons why people just say those platitudes and shit.

I find it so annoying when people gatekeep suicide and say that it's only valid in certain circumstances or is only valid for a certain age. People who gatekeep suicide are just delusional pro lifers. If they saw life for what it really is then they wouldn't gatekeep suicide. And also the type of people who gatekeep suicide are usually arrogant older people who think that they know better than everyone else.

I just don't get why anyone else thinks they have any right to interfere and decide what is best for someone else. They are not experiencing that persons life and after all we all experience life differently. We all have different limits as to what we can cope with after all. Nobody should be forced to live against their wishes and it isn't like we have any obligation to live in the first place. Not even all suicidal people suffer to a great extent, I think that some would rather just take control over when they die rather than it being out of their control and some simply just don't like living.

And suicide could never be wrong, no matter what, that is a fact. To die removes all problems and prevents all suffering. The non existent have no problems or concerns. As long as someone lives they have the potential to experience pain to such great extents which is why the thought of non existence appeals to me so much.

I mean this is all nice and dandy until you realise people will abuse this, somehow. It's why there are regulations for things like euthanasia and shit. In a perfect world, people who are suffering would be provided that option but in reality people who cause suffering or people who want to cause suffering or people who think they've suffered - etcetera - would be offing themselves.

I don't know. I don't think our lives matter, so it doesn't make a difference. But there's gonna be people upset that little Timmy killed himself because his girlfriend broke up with him, even though Timmy lives in a house the size of a golf field, shits cash and could live the best life possible. Strawman argument, but you get the idea.

 

[Littlewittlelight]

Pain (both mental and physical) is subjective like everything else, there are people that kill themselves because their girfriend broke up with them and people with the most horrible health condition that fight to live.

Yeah and not to forget pain sometimes is a coping mechanism for some like feeling pain and embracing it the magnitude of pain doesn't matter and the form if it's emotional or physical and I agree the pain is subjective too and I don't see a problem but have this thought and it's mind boggling how much a human can endure? And should I endure that much too because they are? Not really if I don't want to and that would be double standards like we wouldn't want to improve as much as someone or

It's not really a question. I'm more or less asking if you have ever thought about it, or if you have anything to say about it.

It's rhetorical, almost. I don't know if there is an answer.


I mean I wouldn't wanna be in other people's situations. People have shit lives. It's pain, but it's different. Well that's the some of us. There are people here, or everywhere, that.. Objectively, their life is great. Or would be better than your situation.

My god I'm contradicting myself so much heh. Fuck it.

I definitely know people like your sister. I mean, usually, there's meaning behind jokes. The people I know that joke about killing themselves actually have suicidal thoughts, or their lives suck. It's such a privilege for the idea of suicide to be off-putting, or to never cross your mind.


One of the problems about it is that people deem themselves experts in suicidality because of it. They had flashes of killing themselves, so they somehow someway think they're on the same "tier" as someone who has suicidal thoughts everyday. It's one of the reasons why people just say those platitudes and shit.


I mean this is all nice and dandy until you realise people will abuse this, somehow. It's why there are regulations for things like euthanasia and shit. In a perfect world, people who are suffering would be provided that option but in reality people who cause suffering or people who want to cause suffering or people who think they've suffered - etcetera - would be offing themselves.

I don't know. I don't think our lives matter, so it doesn't make a difference. But there's gonna be people upset that little Timmy killed himself because his girlfriend broke up with him, even though Timmy lives in a house the size of a golf field, shits cash and could live the best life possible. Strawman argument, but you get the idea.

And funny thing is that people would send their condolences under their Twitter posts when someone kills themselves over their girlfriend because ahh that just is very romantic damn. No offence to people suicidal over girlfriends but look at this people are suicidal because of a combination of things and one could be the girlfriend or boyfriend but Timmy has a house the size of a golf course and people would sympathize because the romantic movie blew recently in which another Jimmy killed himself for the same reason and it was so sad you know? And I also think movies must be the reason why suicide is sometimes appealing like some even end up using the same methods in movies? Don't know why but yeah strange world

 

[rationaltake]

Not even all suicidal people suffer to a great extent, I think that some would rather just take control over when they die rather than it being out of their control and some simply just don't like living.

And some suicidal people even have a sense of humour. That's a fact.

 

[Littlewittlelight]

It's not really a question. I'm more or less asking if you have ever thought about it, or if you have anything to say about it.

It's rhetorical, almost. I don't know if there is an answer.


I mean I wouldn't wanna be in other people's situations. People have shit lives. It's pain, but it's different. Well that's the some of us. There are people here, or everywhere, that.. Objectively, their life is great. Or would be better than your situation.

My god I'm contradicting myself so much heh. Fuck it.

I definitely know people like your sister. I mean, usually, there's meaning behind jokes. The people I know that joke about killing themselves actually have suicidal thoughts, or their lives suck. It's such a privilege for the idea of suicide to be off-putting, or to never cross your mind.


One of the problems about it is that people deem themselves experts in suicidality because of it. They had flashes of killing themselves, so they somehow someway think they're on the same "tier" as someone who has suicidal thoughts everyday. It's one of the reasons why people just say those platitudes and shit.


I mean this is all nice and dandy until you realise people will abuse this, somehow. It's why there are regulations for things like euthanasia and shit. In a perfect world, people who are suffering would be provided that option but in reality people who cause suffering or people who want to cause suffering or people who think they've suffered - etcetera - would be offing themselves.

I don't know. I don't think our lives matter, so it doesn't make a difference. But there's gonna be people upset that little Timmy killed himself because his girlfriend broke up with him, even though Timmy lives in a house the size of a golf field, shits cash and could live the best life possible. Strawman argument, but you get the idea.

And yeah I get it I even am not on that tier yet and I won't lie but yeah people do it and It would hurt you if you think more about it I mean everyone has the right to think and decide for themselves so it doesn't matter why they are doing it and what they do and that's is the reason of why you shouldn't get influenced by other's ideations or think it's my time too because there has just been 3 attempts in a row and 2 of them cbt by full suspension. I thought there is going to be a wave of it but it fortunately stopped and the one who survived is again left on his own and having the shitty life doing dope and alcohol under the tin roof that's it. I think he only drinks and doesn't eat much he has more alcohol than water.

 

[emgrl]

I mean I wouldn't wanna be in other people's situations. People have shit lives. It's pain, but it's different. Well that's the some of us. There are people here, or everywhere, that.. Objectively, their life is great. Or would be better than your situation.

My god I'm contradicting myself so much heh. Fuck it.

I definitely know people like your sister. I mean, usually, there's meaning behind jokes. The people I know that joke about killing themselves actually have suicidal thoughts, or their lives suck. It's such a privilege for the idea of suicide to be off-putting, or to never cross your mind.

I don't know. I don't think our lives matter, so it doesn't make a difference. But there's gonna be people upset that little Timmy killed himself because his girlfriend broke up with him, even though Timmy lives in a house the size of a golf field, shits cash and could live the best life possible. Strawman argument, but you get the idea.

I'm with you, any kind of suffering is suffering. I was just making the point there are different circumstances, what might cause one person to CTB, might not be enough to make someone else.

Strawman argument, I definitely get the idea.

 

[Littlewittlelight]

All this happened in my own locality at a point I was thinking of asking how it felt man? Can we tak for a while but I don't know how to do that.

 

[Un-]

And funny thing is that people would send their condolences under their Twitter posts when someone kills themselves over their girlfriend because ahh that just is very romantic damn. No offence to people suicidal over girlfriends but look at this people are suicidal because of a combination of things and one could be the girlfriend or boyfriend but Timmy has a house the size of a golf course and people would sympathize because the romantic movie blew recently in which another Jimmy killed himself for the same reason and it was so sad you know? And I also think movies must be the reason why suicide is sometimes appealing like some even end up using the same methods in movies? Don't know why but yeah strange world

I won't lie and say I know what you're talking about. Maybe it's because of my below-zero social media presence. It sucks that that happens, if that happens though. I think there are people that romanticise suicide somehow. Isn't it the case with.. Uh 13 Reasons Why?

I heard that when the show came out, a lot of people ended up picking up suicide as a way to get-back at people who hurt them. Revenge suicide. And because the show showed suicide via cutting.. Yknow? The same thing with the old batman and joker movies, and everything. It's usually damaged people, or children that do this shit though, because they're easily influenced.

 

[actual_fox]

I am not suicidal, but I hope I will commit suicide so I don't have to live long, because living long life is always worse then dying young innocent and happy. And I am somewhat happy, somewhat innocent and still young as my body is in good condition, this is not entire story though.

I hope I will ctb so I don't have to see what type of horrors future might bring, and only thing worrying me is my family which will have to try to survive dealing with great amount of hardship as things will go south. History is full of wars, famines, horrors beyond comprehesnion and catasthrophies, also plagues. Things that kill you and your family slowly. I want to write and present a guide of how to asses if one is in those kind of situations and If so then how could one commit kill himself. I wish people could understand that survival at all cost is just not worth It and there is no value in suffering even If it is for somebody else. This is why I am here on this site. Because outside of It I am insane and nobody has even slightest chance of understanding why somebody who looks health and is not that mentally ill might want to commit suicide.

I understand people have problem with seeing others die or especially die from their own hands. I understand this is problematic and It hurts others and their worldview. Only thing I won't understand is any pity for me, I will be free while they still believe there is something in here to struggle for. Thankfully i will never have kids like they decided to.

 

[Littlewittlelight]

I won't lie and say I know what you're talking about. Maybe it's because of my below-zero social media presence. It sucks that that happens, if that happens though. I think there are people that romanticise suicide somehow. Isn't it the case with.. Uh 13 Reasons Why?

I heard that when the show came out, a lot of people ended up picking up suicide as a way to get-back at people who hurt them. Revenge suicide. And because the show showed suicide via cutting.. Yknow? The same thing with the old batman and joker movies, and everything. It's usually damaged people, or children that do this shit though, because they're easily influenced.

I haven't seen it happen either from my own two eyes but yeah and actually I haven't watched that series but yeah people actually get influenced no matter what they do in the end and Haven watched those series but yeah that one. It just is very appealing, the idea to some people and I would keep creating problems for myself even if they aren't there as long as I am a human so everyone is going to have these thoughts of killing themselves because the bees just stung them too hard and there phone is not working then there too much to die for just like there is too much to live for. This sounds very ill but either way I am rambling now.

 

[actual_fox]

I haven't seen it happen either from my own two eyes but yeah and actually I haven't watched that series but yeah people actually get influenced no matter what they do in the end and Haven watched those series but yeah that one. It just is very appealing, the idea to some people and I would keep creating problems for myself even if they aren't there as long as I am a human so everyone is going to have these thoughts of killing themselves because the bees just stung them too hard and there phone is not working then there too much to die for just like there is too much to live for. This sounds very ill but either way I am rambling now.

I have heard a guy speeding the fuck out of his car while drunk because girl left him. If he died he might have taken some other poor soul with him. Other girl I barely knew died mysteriously while "playing" on a bridge above the highway, also after break up.

So make of that what you will. This is a big deal for people. Blame maybe all hopeless romantics... idk

 

[Littlewittlelight]

I have heard a guy speeding the fuck out of his car while drunk because girl left him. If he died he might have taken some other poor soul with him. Other girl I barely knew died mysteriously while "playing" on a bridge above the highway, also after break up.

So make of that what you will. This is a big deal for people. Blame maybe all hopeless romantics... idk

I wasn't taking it lightly either but people maybe doing it because of a combination of things and talking about romanticising suicide not about someone's choice or reason for doing it. I am noone to judge that but just thinking about hat the people who romanticize things like that do.
And they aren't actually the victim the victim is the one who dies and look at all these sad people in YouTube comment section they are also coming up like I attempted thrice I saw like thousands of such comments. Don't know where they go when someone really attempts. So maybe the royalty and trying to be a part of everything matters more than really caring about someone.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hmm, this kind of reminds me of that 'rate your pain on a scale of 1-10' they ask you at the doctors. I once went in with excruciating abdominal pain and they asked me this... But I found it hard to answer- that was the worst pain I had ever felt but I had nothing to compare it to (fortunately). No broken bones, haven't given birth, haven't had teeth yanked out. I tried to imagine what horrific pain the human body COULD endure and put it at a 7. As it was, I should have scored it higher because it was gallstones and they didn't do an awful lot- so- by the time the pain wasn't subsiding, a stone had moved into the bile duct.

That's the thing though- we don't appreciate stuff till it's gone. I didn't appreciate my health till I felt that bad and honestly- I was only 'grateful' for a little while until I took it for granted again. Same I think goes with life situation- someone may look as if they have everything going for them and still ctb. But they've only ever known their life and their set of problems. Sure, they can sympathise that others have it worse but that isn't going to help them.

Maybe we do all have different tolerances for different types of pain or life calamity but at the end of the day, if life seems pointless anyway (which I suspect it does for most of us) what does it matter if you are 'strong' and soldier on through or end it there? (I guess it matters to the people around you obviously.)

Regarding people who 'get better' after being suicidally depressed- I just don't know. The brain is weird afterall and we all have such unique circumstances. I'm sure it felt real for them at the time. Personally, I can't see myself ever not feeling like this but part of that is because I'm not willing to put in the effort to try- therapy, medication etc. I suspect some people do have incredibly serious mental illnesses but have enough reason to try to overcome them- maybe the love and support of their families.

Plus- and please forgive me for this- all the people suffering from them- mental illnesses and behaviours can vary so much. Forgive me for the Wikipedia type description but bipolar (I believe) can appear to create episodes of high energy- which may APPEAR like someone is actually doing very well when they're probably not.

I guess it does depend on whether depression is in fact treatable. A lady I knew- the most positive, outgoing person you could picture developed depression as a side effect to a medication she was on. It was fascinating to talk to her because she said up until then, she really had no time for people who said they were suffering with depression. I think things got better for her when they switched her onto something else. For her, there was a 'fix' but I think it did genuinely rattle her at the time.

Think I've kind of just rambled on here. Sorry if I've gone off topic.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

I guess it does depend on whether depression is in fact treatable. A lady I knew- the most positive, outgoing person you could picture developed depression as a side effect to a medication she was on. It was fascinating to talk to her because she said up until then, she really had no time for people who said they were suffering with depression. I think things got better for her when they switched her onto something else. For her, there was a 'fix' but I think it did genuinely rattle her at the time.

Think I've kind of just rambled on here. Sorry if I've gone off topic.

Thanks you for this paragraph in particular — and oddly my health issues started with gallstones too — due to Gilbert's Syndrome — and the 1st misprescribed medication. But it could be stopped without dangerous withdrawal.

I wish I was as lucky as the lady you knew. I was much like that lady until
mis-prescribed Benzodiazepines / aka "Fibromyalgia meds" — that I cannot metabolize— but didn't know until too late— and can't cold turkey— nor get any help now.

The wrong medication — and prescriber — can lead to irreversibly catastrophic damage/ disease— and suicide.

I never really understood serious depression until the elder of my parents passed away— but I found volunteering in a creative, productive and fulfilling way to cope and honour their memory too — which led to adventurous work overseas and then meeting my spouse/ soulmate.

But sadly things took an abrupt and very bad turn more than a decade later — because I trusted Doctors— leading to appalling , unnecessary and still ongoing — grossly negligent prescribed harm / trauma - chemical and physical.

So I wouldn't be on SS to ctb if my "current medication" was changed to the only medication I've tried — that does not make me suicidal —due to severe ADR / adverse drug reactions and devastating physical deterioration and now literally crippling neuropathy / CRPS. But— Instead of changing my medication— which has been repeatedly acknowledged as harmful — even via genetic tests. I've been gaslit / blamed / punished / dismissed — and kicked into the gutter to die a slow painful death— due to following authoritative advice to submit a formal complaint to the perpetrators.

Suicidal ideation began with this "current medication" 3 years ago— has been reported via a dozen different medical / police channels— only to be mocked and isolated as someone who's faking/ threatening — almost carted off and locked up if not for my quick acting spouse. And the perpetrators have repeatedly requested funding (denied so far) to get me locked up in a psych hospital for "medically unexplained physical symptoms/ MUPS". Which had been diagnosed as CRPS in 2019 but then quietly changed / relentlessly gaslit me as MUPS. But just re-diagnosed by having to pay private Vascular specialist — as CRPS. Which is still dismissed by my "doctors" — as "MUPS/Somatic".

And my legitimate change of medication requests have been labeled on my record as "drug-seeking" — despite having received bluntly supportive advice from my country's "Medicine Authority".

CRPS is known as "the suicide disease" — yet no support here either way.

I can't believe this is happening it is so surreal and absurd and feels like I am trapped in actual hell / cursed.

Apologies for my rambling / derailing sob story— it's the first post I've felt able to articulate— due to sobbing 24/7 — to introduce myself/ reason I'm on SS — and desperate to end this inhumane suffering.

If only my spouse would let me go. I'm 95% dependent and despise being a burden / distress to spouse / carer — but spouse is eternal optimist trying desperately to save me.

So won't be getting any help from spouse to ctb — too debilitated to travel / manage/ arrange any methods myself — including Maid etc.

2 failed ODs before finding SS — now trapped with no options for escape/ exit.

Thank you for reading if you got this far.
I'm so Sorry for all those suffering here.

 

[Hollowillow]

I'm not gonna make this a philosophical spiel. It's more about something I've.. I guess, felt.

You know you hear of stories of people saying how they were depressed or had problems or whatever it may be, but they pulled through and they're happy now. I sometimes wonder to myself if they were ever really suicidal or depressed or whatever. And if they were, maybe it wasn't so severe.

This is gonna get ugly. Because it's gonna be pain-lympics, and everything but I think it's something to think about.

I mean you can go FuneralCry's route and say that regardless of what happened, you're in pain, and you know what's best. Or you can go with Ge0rge's POV, and say that there are some valid reasons for committing suicide.

Another thing to consider is: what is "suicidal" and shit? If you somehow recover, were you really fucked up? Or was it to a mild degree? Like seasonal depression, or situational depression, or like when you come on SaSu every 5 months or so because you're not always in a bad space. I don't know.

I mean there won't be a consensus because we don't know what we're talking about. I don't know your pain, and oppositely you don't know mine. For all we know, my being in serious suicidal thoughts every day could be equivalent to the bouts of depression you have every 5 days or so. Meh. Food for thought I suppose.

I think someone could be more suicidal for 5 minutes over something trivial than someone who endured extreme trauma for years. Feelings aren't based on facts but how we feel... Someone with a social support can endure more than someone isolated. I think all feelings are valid. Even if they are ever changing, as they should be. Rain is still wet when the rainbow comes.

I read stories of homeless people feeling forced to die. Their suffering was still real & valid if they become happy after finding a home.

Life can change. Sometimes for the worst... But sometimes we get some merciful glitches in hell. I fucked up mine...

 

[Forever Sleep]

Thanks you for this paragraph in particular — and oddly my health issues started with gallstones too — due to Gilbert's Syndrome — and the 1st misprescribed medication. But it could be stopped without dangerous withdrawal.

I wish I was as lucky as the lady you knew. I was much like that lady until
mis-prescribed Benzodiazepines / aka "Fibromyalgia meds" — that I cannot metabolize— but didn't know until too late— and can't cold turkey— nor get any help now.

The wrong medication — and prescriber — can lead to irreversibly catastrophic damage/ disease— and suicide.

I never really understood serious depression until the elder of my parents passed away— but I found volunteering in a creative, productive and fulfilling way to cope and honour their memory too — which led to adventurous work overseas and then meeting my spouse/ soulmate.

But sadly things took an abrupt and very bad turn more than a decade later — because I trusted Doctors— leading to appalling , unnecessary and still ongoing — grossly negligent prescribed harm / trauma - chemical and physical.

So I wouldn't be on SS to ctb if my "current medication" was changed to the only medication I've tried — that does not make me suicidal —due to severe ADR / adverse drug reactions and devastating physical deterioration and now literally crippling neuropathy / CRPS. But— Instead of changing my medication— which has been repeatedly acknowledged as harmful — even via genetic tests. I've been gaslit / blamed / punished / dismissed — and kicked into the gutter to die a slow painful death— due to following authoritative advice to submit a formal complaint to the perpetrators.

Suicidal ideation began with this "current medication" 3 years ago— has been reported via a dozen different medical / police channels— only to be mocked and isolated as someone who's faking/ threatening — almost carted off and locked up if not for my quick acting spouse. And the perpetrators have repeatedly requested funding (denied so far) to get me locked up in a psych hospital for "medically unexplained physical symptoms/ MUPS". Which had been diagnosed as CRPS in 2019 but then quietly changed / relentlessly gaslit me as MUPS. But just re-diagnosed by having to pay private Vascular specialist — as CRPS. Which is still dismissed by my "doctors" — as "MUPS/Somatic".

And my legitimate change of medication requests have been labeled on my record as "drug-seeking" — despite having received bluntly supportive advice from my country's "Medicine Authority".

CRPS is known as "the suicide disease" — yet no support here either way.

I can't believe this is happening it is so surreal and absurd and feels like I am trapped in actual hell / cursed.

Apologies for my rambling / derailing sob story— it's the first post I've felt able to articulate— due to sobbing 24/7 — to introduce myself/ reason I'm on SS — and desperate to end this inhumane suffering.

If only my spouse would let me go. I'm 95% dependent and despise being a burden / distress to spouse / carer — but spouse is eternal optimist trying desperately to save me.

So won't be getting any help from spouse to ctb — too debilitated to travel / manage/ arrange any methods myself — including Maid etc.

2 failed ODs before finding SS — now trapped with no options for escape/ exit.

Thank you for reading if you got this far.
I'm so Sorry for all those suffering here.

That's so terrible. I'm so sorry. I guess I'm just so cynical about the world now. I hear cases like yours and all I can think about is the rich pharmaceutical companies who push out all this stuff which is then pushed on to us and we take it because we are taught to trust our doctors. It's not to say ALL medication is bad or harmful. I suspect overall it saves more lives than it ruins. It just deeply troubles me when I hear things like this. I can't see how they properly test new meds before they are released. I bet they do know about the side effects but just downplay them to protect their profit.

I can't imagine what it's like for you because you legitimately have someone/ something to blame and are just being shunned and gagged by the sounds of it. I'm so sorry.

It wasn't a medication but a misdiagnosis that caused my Mum to die aged 40. (I was 3). I know doctors are only human and we all make mistakes. I just wish he'd erred on the side of caution and got a mole on her arm checked out- it turned out to be skin cancer. Once heard someone say (paraphrasing here)- 'if only doctors/surgeons were like aircraft pilots and died alongside their 'customers', there'd be fewer mistakes made.'

 

[darkwaters]

I do kind of "gatekeep" ctb for people under age 18 in the sense that aside from outlier causes I really think minors should hold off until they are legal adults. I feel like if you are super young (again, barring extreme situations) that you should be encouraged to think it through once you have aged up a bit. But, that's just my personal opinion.

 

[Hollowillow]

Thanks you for this paragraph in particular — and oddly my health issues started with gallstones too — due to Gilbert's Syndrome — and the 1st misprescribed medication. But it could be stopped without dangerous withdrawal.

I wish I was as lucky as the lady you knew. I was much like that lady until
mis-prescribed Benzodiazepines / aka "Fibromyalgia meds" — that I cannot metabolize— but didn't know until too late— and can't cold turkey— nor get any help now.

The wrong medication — and prescriber — can lead to irreversibly catastrophic damage/ disease— and suicide.

I never really understood serious depression until the elder of my parents passed away— but I found volunteering in a creative, productive and fulfilling way to cope and honour their memory too — which led to adventurous work overseas and then meeting my spouse/ soulmate.

But sadly things took an abrupt and very bad turn more than a decade later — because I trusted Doctors— leading to appalling , unnecessary and still ongoing — grossly negligent prescribed harm / trauma - chemical and physical.

So I wouldn't be on SS to ctb if my "current medication" was changed to the only medication I've tried — that does not make me suicidal —due to severe ADR / adverse drug reactions and devastating physical deterioration and now literally crippling neuropathy / CRPS. But— Instead of changing my medication— which has been repeatedly acknowledged as harmful — even via genetic tests. I've been gaslit / blamed / punished / dismissed — and kicked into the gutter to die a slow painful death— due to following authoritative advice to submit a formal complaint to the perpetrators.

Suicidal ideation began with this "current medication" 3 years ago— has been reported via a dozen different medical / police channels— only to be mocked and isolated as someone who's faking/ threatening — almost carted off and locked up if not for my quick acting spouse. And the perpetrators have repeatedly requested funding (denied so far) to get me locked up in a psych hospital for "medically unexplained physical symptoms/ MUPS". Which had been diagnosed as CRPS in 2019 but then quietly changed / relentlessly gaslit me as MUPS. But just re-diagnosed by having to pay private Vascular specialist — as CRPS. Which is still dismissed by my "doctors" — as "MUPS/Somatic".

And my legitimate change of medication requests have been labeled on my record as "drug-seeking" — despite having received bluntly supportive advice from my country's "Medicine Authority".

CRPS is known as "the suicide disease" — yet no support here either way.

I can't believe this is happening it is so surreal and absurd and feels like I am trapped in actual hell / cursed.

Apologies for my rambling / derailing sob story— it's the first post I've felt able to articulate— due to sobbing 24/7 — to introduce myself/ reason I'm on SS — and desperate to end this inhumane suffering.

If only my spouse would let me go. I'm 95% dependent and despise being a burden / distress to spouse / carer — but spouse is eternal optimist trying desperately to save me.

So won't be getting any help from spouse to ctb — too debilitated to travel / manage/ arrange any methods myself — including Maid etc.

2 failed ODs before finding SS — now trapped with no options for escape/ exit.

Thank you for reading if you got this far.
I'm so Sorry for all those suffering here.

Been gaslit too... Called a hypocondriac even after being hit by a car

Neuropathy can be caused by a deficiency if b vitamins, and they can heal nerves. A chemical damaged me cobstantly, can't heal while still exposed... Unable to remove it from my home...

I'd need to know more but vitamin c, b, magnesium can fix so much incurable stuff... Poison can't cure.

 

[brokensea]

I think you can get better even if you're severely depressed. I did when I was younger. Got medication and it took years. Now I know I won't recover because the circumstances aren't fixable as before. They didn't feel fixable when I was young. But they were.

I was depressed then to the point of almost being comatose, staring at the wall for hours. Felt like a ghost. Couldn't feel pain anymore. Hardly ate. Didn't even care if I died or not and thought I was a ghost anyway and already dead in some delusion. After years of meds and I'm not sure what I got better.

But now of course is different. My problems aren't fixable. Life won't ever be what I want. It was pointless to strive for something so long to end up with nothing. If I could go back in time I would have just gone then.

 

[Un-]

I think you can get better even if you're severely depressed. I did when I was younger. Got medication and it took years. Now I know I won't recover because the circumstances aren't fixable as before. They didn't feel fixable when I was young. But they were.

I was depressed then to the point of almost being comatose, staring at the wall for hours. Felt like a ghost. Couldn't feel pain anymore. Hardly ate. Didn't even care if I died or not and thought I was a ghost anyway and already dead in some delusion. After years of meds and I'm not sure what I got better.

But now of course is different. My problems aren't fixable. Life won't ever be what I want. It was pointless to strive for something so long to end up with nothing. If I could go back in time I would have just gone then.

It's just really iffy, I suppose. It kind of makes everything a bit more messy. Because for every person like yourself, maybe 2 or 3 die to suicide. I guess it's better to say that there is always "a chance of getting better", instead of saying "you can get better".

I guess it's worth noting that, maybe - just maybe - the depression fixable with medications is only skin deep? I've never tried medication, but I highly doubt that someone like FuneralCry would ever be fixed due to medication. Who knows though? Who really knows?

I think someone could be more suicidal for 5 minutes over something trivial than someone who endured extreme trauma for years.

I'm not to sure about that. Like, I've felt severe depression since before I was a teenager, but I know that I have not experienced suffering nearly as much as people like KuriGohan&Kamehameha, and so on. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I don't think I can get behind that.

Feelings aren't based on facts but how we feel... Someone with a social support can endure more than someone isolated. I think all feelings are valid. Even if they are ever changing, as they should be. Rain is still wet when the rainbow comes.

I read stories of homeless people feeling forced to die. Their suffering was still real & valid if they become happy after finding a home.

Life can change. Sometimes for the worst... But sometimes we get some merciful glitches in hell. I fucked up mine...

Pain is pain. But surely it paints a bad brush on suicidal people, if you have people dying because of "minor" things right? I mean isn't that where suicide prevention things come from? They have the mindset that most problems are solvable; that suicidal people usually off themselves at inconveniences.. "temporary problems"..

I think that's the case. It'd be nice if we wouldn't be judges for our reasons, but I doubt that'll ever happen. I don't see a lot of people respecting someone dying over breaking up with their girlfriend of 1 year. Because.. Yknow.. Everyone's had a breakup before. I don't know. We're gonna go in circles with this.

 

[affinity]

Pain (both mental and physical) is subjective like everything else, there are people that kill themselves because their girfriend broke up with them and people with the most horrible health condition that fight to live.

Agreed. It's all relative and our respective life experiences, tolerances and brain chemistry are not the same.

What will bring me to my knees might not bother you in the least and vice versa. It doesn't (imho) diminish that this person was/is in extreme pain and shaming them for not being grateful or not being tough enough is kind of a dick move and I've had to check myself at times about this.

For example: I'll read about celebrities etc experiencing depression etc and I'll roll my eyes and say that millions would kill to be in your position, how could you be depressed? You have access to the best treatments and have no $ worries - I would trade spots with you right now.

I'm sure they're told that and think that themselves and it likely makes them feel even worse. Meanwhile we probably couldn't last 48 hours in their shoes if we knew their history and the pressure they have to deal with on a daily basis.

We don't know the burdens someone is carrying by looking at them and their circumstances, we just don't. Sometimes they're readily apparent, sometimes not. We also don't know what is going on in their minds and whether they have the tools others naturally have to cope.

All in all: compassion is the name of game imho.

 

[makethepainstop]

I'm not gonna make this a philosophical spiel. It's more about something I've.. I guess, felt.

You know you hear of stories of people saying how they were depressed or had problems or whatever it may be, but they pulled through and they're happy now. I sometimes wonder to myself if they were ever really suicidal or depressed or whatever. And if they were, maybe it wasn't so severe.

This is gonna get ugly. Because it's gonna be pain-lympics, and everything but I think it's something to think about.

I mean you can go FuneralCry's route and say that regardless of what happened, you're in pain, and you know what's best. Or you can go with Ge0rge's POV, and say that there are some valid reasons for committing suicide.

Another thing to consider is: what is "suicidal" and shit? If you somehow recover, were you really fucked up? Or was it to a mild degree? Like seasonal depression, or situational depression, or like when you come on SaSu every 5 months or so because you're not always in a bad space. I don't know.

I mean there won't be a consensus because we don't know what we're talking about. I don't know your pain, and oppositely you don't know mine. For all we know, my being in serious suicidal thoughts every day could be equivalent to the bouts of depression you have every 5 days or so. Meh. Food for thought I suppose.

MY BODY, MY CHOICE!

 

[brokensea]

It's just really iffy, I suppose. It kind of makes everything a bit more messy. Because for every person like yourself, maybe 2 or 3 die to suicide. I guess it's better to say that there is always "a chance of getting better", instead of saying "you can get better".

I guess it's worth noting that, maybe - just maybe - the depression fixable with medications is only skin deep? I've never tried medication, but I highly doubt that someone like FuneralCry would ever be fixed due to medication. Who knows though? Who really knows?

I'm not to sure about that. Like, I've felt severe depression since before I was a teenager, but I know that I have not experienced suffering nearly as much as people like KuriGohan&Kamehameha, and so on. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I don't think I can get behind that.



Pain is pain. But surely it paints a bad brush on suicidal people, if you have people dying because of "minor" things right? I mean isn't that where suicide prevention things come from? They have the mindset that most problems are solvable; that suicidal people usually off themselves at inconveniences.. "temporary problems"..

I think that's the case. It'd be nice if we wouldn't be judges for our reasons, but I doubt that'll ever happen. I don't see a lot of people respecting someone dying over breaking up with their girlfriend of 1 year. Because.. Yknow.. Everyone's had a breakup before. I don't know. We're gonna go in circles with this.

Well life has ups and downs things can be better but then they can always get worse again as it did in my case.

 

[CTB Dream]

Not need all this, suffer mechanism all some want ctb some say still. At end all life end ctb one type most freedom choose own end not like other way. Most important not talk fight most important give method peace everyone talk come later

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

That's so terrible. I'm so sorry. I guess I'm just so cynical about the world now. I hear cases like yours and all I can think about is the rich pharmaceutical companies who push out all this stuff which is then pushed on to us and we take it because we are taught to trust our doctors. It's not to say ALL medication is bad or harmful. I suspect overall it saves more lives than it ruins. It just deeply troubles me when I hear things like this. I can't see how they properly test new meds before they are released. I bet they do know about the side effects but just downplay them to protect their profit.

I can't imagine what it's like for you because you legitimately have someone/ something to blame and are just being shunned and gagged by the sounds of it. I'm so sorry.

It wasn't a medication but a misdiagnosis that caused my Mum to die aged 40. (I was 3). I know doctors are only human and we all make mistakes. I just wish he'd erred on the side of caution and got a mole on her arm checked out- it turned out to be skin cancer. Once heard someone say (paraphrasing here)- 'if only doctors/surgeons were like aircraft pilots and died alongside their 'customers', there'd be fewer mistakes made.'

Been gaslit too... Called a hypocondriac even after being hit by a car

Neuropathy can be caused by a deficiency if b vitamins, and they can heal nerves. A chemical damaged me cobstantly, can't heal while still exposed... Unable to remove it from my home...

I'd need to know more but vitamin c, b, magnesium can fix so much incurable stuff... Poison can't cure.