Full suspension seems definitely not my way. Strong vomiting reflex comes as soon as I put and tighten the knot around my neck, before falling from t

[babouflo201223]

Hanging (full suspension) seems to be definitely not my way. Vomiting reflex comes as soon as I put and tighten the neck around my neck, before falling from the chair. Impossible to be quiet to placed right the knot, vomiting reflex makes my head and chest moves (as when we vomit) and the knot turns. I don't understand how people do. And it's not SI. Once again I took several pills of benzos, I felt good and quite sleeping and I took also meto (but it's useless as it's a throat muscles reflex and not true nausea). Now, what to do ? Staying alone suffering a hell day after day after day ? I need help, I need someone help me. But of course nobody will help me, I'm sure of that. I don't see other solution than a massive benzos OD, even if I know it's a very bad idea and that won't kill me anyway. What to do when there is no solution ? If thre was something to avoid the very strong vomiting reflex, I could have a chance to leave this hell even if it's painful on the neck and head (the problem is not here). But I don't know how it's possible and I wonder how people can stay without moving head and chest with such a strong reflex impossible to control.