
leeloosnow
Warlock
- Aug 28, 2022
- 725
every single time there's a breath of hope that i'm able to alleviate the suffering of another, to soothe my own heart, i get bitch smacked and punished for it. sadly there is no hope, not for these wounded hearts that's shouldn't be treated that way, and not for me either. pretty sure i had a better chance than most of making the best outta bad situations, but i'm not willing to fuck ppl over that there's my flaw. well, obvs a lot of other ones too, but that one's a biggie. keep trying when i prolly should cut ties, charge less money when i should charge more, forgive when i shouldn't. it's a cycle of misery i'm fucking sick of. do people not know words anymore"? why do all of my efforts, conversations, ad cries result in blank faces, i'm actually really god at biting my tongue to a degree. just, fuck people, there's some good in most of us, but there's a lot of butt nuggets in there too, and ultimately humans suffer a miserable painful slow death. fuck that i'm taking my power back. (not tonight, but hopefully soon) i am like sisyphus, this is useless and painful. i love these people dearly, i'd do anything for them, the smiles and the light on their faces, gratitude for a good dinner- its fuckin fantastic! but can i balance everything, and fix every broken person i come across, or stop caring to do so? no, i can't. so, fuck this world. please don't have kids.