FUCKING LISTEN TO ME PLEASE

[Seered Doom]

I can't take this stupid bullshit. I hate feeling like this. I can't fucking take it anymore. It feels like there's so much pro life shit sneaking its way into suicide threads, even ones I make and it sometimes feels like others can't even take the time to read what I actually have to fucking say on my emotions. I do not want advice on this, I do not want any reasons to live or any of that shit. I just want someone to actually listen to me and maybe even some comfort and understanding. I don't have irl friends. I pretend I do just to shut others up and appease them. I feel like everyday I'm just one step away from having a daily crisis yet I mask it over with a brave smile for everyone else. I am so sick and tired of feeling like I have to hide away from everything and everyone. It's scary to see how others think they can "save me" or whatever the hell. Look, I can't be saved. Others have tried and have failed. They call me a bitch because their reality and version of me is broken apart because the real thing is something they cannot handle so they make up things to justify to themselves why I'm bad. No worries, I'll discard myself at some point. I can be easily ignored. No one irl, not even my own parents, seem to follow what they say on caring about me. It's so lonely and miserable that I need to scream and let everything out. I'm pathetic, I know. Save your energy and breath. I suck a lot, objectively speaking. I don't have much of a reason to care nor to live. Please, just do me a favour and let me ctb. This world keeps wanting me alive, but I don't want to live in a place where I'm barely ever happy and no one seems to care.

 

[username8888]

Look, I can't be saved. Others have tried and have failed.

At least you are aware that you can't be saved. That's not coward, pragmatic.

I don't have much of a reason to care nor to live. Please, just do me a favour and let me ctb. This world keeps wanting me alive, but I don't want to live in a place where I'm barely ever happy and no one seems to care.

Even though your words are like scream. I think you are more sane than ninety percent of people I interact with day-to-day basis in the job.

I do not want advice on this, I do not want any reasons to live or any of that shit.

Sane idea for me.

I don't have irl friends. I pretend I do just to shut others up and appease them. I feel like everyday I'm just one step away from having a daily crisis yet I mask it over with a brave smile for everyone else. I am so sick and tired of feeling like I have to hide away from everything and everyone.

I can relate to that. Hiding your true ideas while pretending like NPC is my daily dose of reality nowadays. If you can resist this pressure, you are brave enough for me.

 

[Seered Doom]

Honestly, this is the most honest response I've gotten in a while since a lot of my posts prior to I think yesterday were such bs with people legit trying to save me or whatever like they need to not. I hope this gets cracked down upon.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I pretend I do just to shut others up and appease them. I feel like everyday I'm just one step away from having a daily crisis yet I mask it over with a brave smile for everyone else.

I feel this so much. I hate having to pretend I'm fine so others won't worry about me and will stop asking questions. I wish I could just exist without having to monitor myself for other's sake constantly

 

[just_a_guy]

I can really feel your frustration and pain in this post. I hope you find all the support and kindness you're looking for in this community. No one can decide whether you ctb except you; that power is in your hands.

 

[Seered Doom]

It's literally only yesterday and today that people actually say stuff that's actually helpful in my threads, all of you included. I'm just tired of so much pro-life sentiment trying to bleed into the areas where it's not asked for and others thinking they can save me. I've already done most every single thing pro lifers generally spit out. It still doesn't make the depression and thoughts go away. Then I get painted as the bitch.

 

[tiger b]

I'm listening to what you are writing - certainly in this thread. I respect whatever you do with your life. No platitudes coming from me. You have my full respect.

and others thinking they can save me.

I haven't seen that yet, and if I do, I'd call them out on it. You know your life better than anyone else.

 

[FuneralCry]

I will always hate how there is a lack of acceptance towards the fact that not everyone wants to exist here, sadly many people refuse to accept that existence isn't a desirable state for everyone.

I cannot stand it when people force pro-life toxic positivity and so called "advice" when it wasn't even asked for, I'm always repulsed by this pro-suffering world where humans are so focused on prolonging meaningless torment no matter what.

 

[Seered Doom]

You understand me too, FC? Thank you

 

[Life'sA6itch]

I've already done most every single thing pro lifers generally spit out. It still doesn't make the depression and thoughts go away. Then I get painted as the bitch.

I feel the exact same, they are the ones who selfishly tell you things that are not true, name call and do anything but listen to you

 

[Seered Doom]

Exactly