TheLostCause
Falling Apart
- Nov 7, 2020
- 91
I fucked up with a failed attempt. I rushed my plan. I was going to overdose on 3 meds and jump from a local bridge, i never even made it out the house. I actually rung the ambulance myself but i was too out of it to know what i was even doing or control myself. Not a clue why i rung, all i remember was getting annoyed at the phone press this number for this and this number for this, it kept replaying over and over, next thing someone knocks on the door at midnight, i guess i got up to answer it but didn't even make it to the door. Next thing i remember was me being on the floor staring up at the ambulance crew who were stood in my doorway.
They were so incredibly rude, demanding to go to my kitchen to look for anymore meds even though i gave them everything i had left.
The lady paramedic kept telling me I was talking to the operater on the phone so i can talk to her (not in the nice sense of talking to her), like demanding i answer her questions and got annoyed when i couldn't because my speach made no sense and i was getting annoyed because i couldn't get my words out. Then got told off for sitting down on the way out the house, i was in and out of consciousness because my heart was racing and also found it was skipping a beat when they did the tests in the ambulance, but nope she wanted me to fucking stay stood up, like hello ile just pass out then and probably hit my head on the concrete ontop of the od. I then remember being in resus with 2 canulars in my arms, wires all over and little bits of people asking me stuff but everything else is a blurr/none existent, most of the time i was completely out.
Im so fucking annoyed by the way the paramedics treated me and annoyed at me for ringing them to begin with, i wanted a successful attempt. I guess i atleast now know in my plan which med to omit from it as my main plan is a concoction of meds and a high jump.
Im still in the hospital, since they don't discharge on sundays and i still have a drip in which finishes at midnight. So im gonna be here until atleast monday and i still have to see and convince the mh team to let me go home, so shitting bricks for that, I don't want another section.
They were so incredibly rude, demanding to go to my kitchen to look for anymore meds even though i gave them everything i had left.
The lady paramedic kept telling me I was talking to the operater on the phone so i can talk to her (not in the nice sense of talking to her), like demanding i answer her questions and got annoyed when i couldn't because my speach made no sense and i was getting annoyed because i couldn't get my words out. Then got told off for sitting down on the way out the house, i was in and out of consciousness because my heart was racing and also found it was skipping a beat when they did the tests in the ambulance, but nope she wanted me to fucking stay stood up, like hello ile just pass out then and probably hit my head on the concrete ontop of the od. I then remember being in resus with 2 canulars in my arms, wires all over and little bits of people asking me stuff but everything else is a blurr/none existent, most of the time i was completely out.
Im so fucking annoyed by the way the paramedics treated me and annoyed at me for ringing them to begin with, i wanted a successful attempt. I guess i atleast now know in my plan which med to omit from it as my main plan is a concoction of meds and a high jump.
Im still in the hospital, since they don't discharge on sundays and i still have a drip in which finishes at midnight. So im gonna be here until atleast monday and i still have to see and convince the mh team to let me go home, so shitting bricks for that, I don't want another section.
