Venting Fuck society (from my POV)

[StillBreathing]

Very few people in my real life understand me. Work is forced upon us by society and if we don't work we are considered lazy, bad role models, bad citizens, leeches on social welfare etc...

I used to be filled with passion for my work because it was also my biggest hobby growing up. The first few years I looked forward to every single workday. I would work most weekends as well because I enjoyed it that much. But the fun stops eventually when you are forced to do this on a schedule every week all god damn year. I ended up resenting anything that involves computers, which is very sad because I used to have such passion for it.

I'm disgusted by the way society literally works us to death. Most people seem to do fine because they are seemingly brainwashed to think this is acceptable. Some even brag about working harder and longer than others. What for? A fancy car you only use to commute for work? A big empty house you only sleep in? We are missing out on at least 1/3 of our life due to work, I would say even more because when I get home I'm always too tired to do anything that requires any effort. I see my fucking coworkers more than my own family. God I hate those fake smiles and "Good morning's" every day.

The food we get at the grocery store is all processed junk filled with toxins and preservatives making us sick. Doctor's can't do much else than provide medications that hide the symptoms.
I wish I was born in a time where I would hunt my own food, grow my own vegetables, take care of my family. It would be a much harder and shorter life, but I think it would be a much more fulfilling one.

Instead here I am, an adult single man who has become so depressed and tired that he wants to end it. Moved home to live with his dad in order to not CTB. I ask myself everyday why am I still here, I see no reason at all.. I miss the joy I had as a child, playing in the woods with my friends. I am an empty shell of my former self.

I'm giving myself and the doctor's a little more time to see if things can get better, but right now I don't see how it can be. I have been in several relationships, they either didn't last very long. Or my work would come in the way. Even if I was with another person, I still felt alone. Few of them understood me. Yes I am taking antidepressants, they dull my senses and take away all the emotions. Am I just supposed to be a mindless drone, working till' I die from all my chronic diseases?
I'd rather enter that bus a little early while I still have happy memories fresh in my mind.... Nothing new here....

Sorry if this doesn't make sense to you, I just felt the need to express myself to someone who might feel the same.

 

[Teikoku]

Offices are horrible places. I never enjoyed the fake people and office politics. I totally get how you feel.

Sounds like you enjoy nature, I feel the same way. I wish I could be growing my own food and living off the land. Much more fulfilling than commuting to work and sitting at a desk all day.

I hope your situation improves or you can eventually find a better path. But there are many who feel the same as you trudging to work every day.

 

[StillBreathing]

Offices are horrible places. I never enjoyed the fake people and office politics. I totally get how you feel.

Sounds like you enjoy nature, I feel the same way. I wish I could be growing my own food and living off the land. Much more fulfilling than commuting to work and sitting at a desk all day.

I hope your situation improves or you can eventually find a better path. But there are many who feel the same as you trudging to work every day.

It might just be that I have been walking the same path for too long. Some may need a change once in a while.

Thank you for your kind comment.

 

[Teikoku]

It might just be that I have been walking the same path for too long. Some may need a change once in a while.

Thank you for your kind comment.

It's always nice to set a goal, it gives you something to look forward and helps you get through the rough days. Best of luck.

 

[epic]

Very few people in my real life understand me. Work is forced upon us by society and if we don't work we are considered lazy, bad role models, bad citizens, leeches on social welfare etc...

I used to be filled with passion for my work because it was also my biggest hobby growing up. The first few years I looked forward to every single workday. I would work most weekends as well because I enjoyed it that much. But the fun stops eventually when you are forced to do this on a schedule every week all god damn year. I ended up resenting anything that involves computers, which is very sad because I used to have such passion for it.

I'm disgusted by the way society literally works us to death. Most people seem to do fine because they are seemingly brainwashed to think this is acceptable. Some even brag about working harder and longer than others. What for? A fancy car you only use to commute for work? A big empty house you only sleep in? We are missing out on at least 1/3 of our life due to work, I would say even more because when I get home I'm always too tired to do anything that requires any effort. I see my fucking coworkers more than my own family. God I hate those fake smiles and "Good morning's" every day.

The food we get at the grocery store is all processed junk filled with toxins and preservatives making us sick. Doctor's can't do much else than provide medications that hide the symptoms.
I wish I was born in a time where I would hunt my own food, grow my own vegetables, take care of my family. It would be a much harder and shorter life, but I think it would be a much more fulfilling one.

Instead here I am, an adult single man who has become so depressed and tired that he wants to end it. Moved home to live with his dad in order to not CTB. I ask myself everyday why am I still here, I see no reason at all.. I miss the joy I had as a child, playing in the woods with my friends. I am an empty shell of my former self.

I'm giving myself and the doctor's a little more time to see if things can get better, but right now I don't see how it can be. I have been in several relationships, they either didn't last very long. Or my work would come in the way. Even if I was with another person, I still felt alone. Few of them understood me. Yes I am taking antidepressants, they dull my senses and take away all the emotions. Am I just supposed to be a mindless drone, working till' I die from all my chronic diseases?
I'd rather enter that bus a little early while I still have happy memories fresh in my mind.... Nothing new here....

Sorry if this doesn't make sense to you, I just felt the need to express myself to someone who might feel the same.

Have you considered freelancing and moving to a country with cheaper rent and cost of living ? If you are an American , the visa has very high value making it easier for you to move and sites like fiverr, upwork will fetch money in dollars while expenditure is in native currency.

It's an unusual solution but people are doing it.
PS: Apologize for my ignorance if you have already considered it .

 

[StillBreathing]

Have you considered freelancing and moving to a country with cheaper rent and cost of living ? If you are an American , the visa has very high value making it easier for you to move and sites like fiverr, upwork will fetch money in dollars while expenditure is in native currency.

It's an unusual solution but people are doing it.
PS: Apologize for my ignorance if you have already considered it .

This has always been a dream of mine and I think it would make a huge difference. I travel when I can and enjoy it especially in SEA. Sadly in my situation it is impossible long-term. There is no cure for my chronic illness which comes with multiple doctors appointments, check-ups and medications every month.

Thankfully the healthcare system pay for all my medical bills but I would never be able to afford them on my own.

I mean if you worked all your life in tech you are exposed to the worst humans. One of my biggest reasons to CTB is my techie father and being raised on the dystopian af west coast. So you can thank yourself is what I'm saying. If you haven't removed yourself from the toxic system maybe you were built for it, work every weekend again why not.

The people at my work are good people and not toxic at all. I think the worst part is the office environment, being forced to work 9-5. The people can be as fun as ever, but when you see them every day it gets boring real quick. Living far up north I sometimes go months without sunlight even touching my face for a minute because the sun is only up while I'm sitting in my small cubicle.

I know I was built for this because I always had a talent for tech. I may need to change how I work though.

 

[epic]

This has always been a dream of mine and I think it would make a huge difference. I travel when I can and enjoy it especially in SEA. Sadly in my situation it is impossible long-term. There is no cure for my chronic illness which comes with multiple doctors appointments, check-ups and medications every month.

Thankfully the healthcare system pay for all my medical bills but I would never be able to afford them on my own.

The people at my work are good people and not toxic at all. I think the worst part is the office environment, being forced to work 9-5. The people can be as fun as ever, but when you see them every day it gets boring real quick. Living far up north I sometimes go months without sunlight even touching my face for a minute because the sun is only up while I'm sitting in my small cubicle.

I know I was built for this because I always had a talent for tech. I may need to change how I work though.

Healthcare in these countries are pretty cheap too .

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, life certainly is such a terrible concept and I believe that working makes many people wish to ctb even more as after all, humans just exist to be slaves to the society until they decay from old age. Life really does lead to nothing and nowhere other than our deterioration and death, existence is just a pointless struggle and it's very much understandable wishing to be free from it all.

 

[leavingsoon99]

I used to be filled with passion for my work because it was also my biggest hobby growing up.

I was that way. I used to be so enthusiastic about life. I dove head-first into life, not knowing what I was in for. The abuse I suffered during my youth propelled me out into the world with absolutely NO compass. Just a kid with a dream. I was ready to jump into the big, wide world and take life by the horns. I really couldn't wait to meet people.

But the fun stops eventually when you are forced to do this on a schedule every week all god damn year.

I guess this is why I can't bother with a 'side hustle' or re-igniting my passion anymore. I'd be doing it because I HAVE TO. Nothing would be coming from my heart. Therefore, I see no reason to even do it. Furthermore, the fact that one actually needs a 'side hustle' is just plain absurd. A person's work should be able to provide for them and their family. People shouldn't have to work until they're carted out of some cubicle or warehouse feet first.

This life has proven to be nothing short of a cruel joke. It's too lopsided of a game to play, and I'm done playing it. I'm going to enjoy my last months, then leave. I really don't like the looks of what's coming in this world.