Venting FUCK Mother's Day: if anyone wants to vent about their mother here is a thread...

[LittleJem]

So my colleagues are all mums and were talking about Mother's Day in our Zoom meeting and asked me what I'm doing for it. There are worse mothers out there than my mother, I know. But I just want to start this FUCK my mother thread for anyone that wants to share about their mothers.

Last night I had a dream in which my mother was starring. I told her very clearly I never wanted to see or speak to her again. Which I have also said to her in real life since she abandoned me when I really needed her. It made me realise, she has always abused me and not been there when I needed her, and when she has been there she has also been abusive. She is not a safe person for me to be anywhere near. Being so ill these past years and her continued abuse - it's just the same continuation. It's not a change. She has always abused me, and this year she abused me when I needed her the most.

In my dream, she was in a hotel room with me at a conference event and she was shaming me and abusing me.

She is an abusive, lying, vile person. She is still telling lies about me since we have become estranged when she left me terribly ill and bedridden with no care or support from her, while she went on holiday to Egypt as I lay bedridden to see one of her boyfriends, then went to Scotland to care for her other boyfriend/partner as he was ill and in hospital. I spent that year telling her how upset I was, that she needed to make amends or we would become estranged. I gave her one whole year of a chance and begged her to make amends and nothing. During this time, she has abused me as usual, telling me she was going to move house and not tell me where she was moving to (like she's been saying to me since I was a small child), questioning all my decisions e.g. about my divorce, and giving me no support even though I was ill, heartbroken and bedridden. When I was (and am) being bullied at work, she just made sneering and dismissive noises.

Before this, when I was well enough, I used to invite her round when I was married for many dinners and to stay over (even when she accused my then husband of domestic abuse without asking for my opinion and it was not true). I paid for a holiday to Egypt for her for her 60th birthday and bought her a new passport, and she accused me of wanting her money (which she doesn't have any). She hadn't been abroad for years. I saw her often and did everything I could to a) excuse her illness and behaviour and b) be a good daughter.

I just want to say FUCK her. FUCK her to hell. I made excuses for her for so long, that she called me the 'devil incarnate' when I was a small child, didn't support me to make friends or learn manners but left me to fend for myself, never did our washing or made sure we were appropriately dressed, and is a compulsive hoarder that made me grow up in a home infested with moths, mould and mice. This has affected my lungs permanently. She called me a million names as I was growing up, that I was 'such a selfish girl', that 'no wonder I didn't have friends', that 'she loved the abortion she had more than she loved me' and that I was the one who had 'ruined her marriage' (I was like 5 or 8 years old). And that my father had left because he didn't love me enough.

She terrified me in ways I still do not feel or understand, as I feel so numb after her abuse.

FUCK her. FUCK her to hell.

 

[aneurysm]

I'm with you on that one.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...who-says-mothers-love-is-unconditional.62557/

questioning all my decisions e.g. about my divorce, and giving me no support even though I was ill, heartbroken and bedridden.

Sounds like my mom.

Let's be honest, the governmental institutions aren't the only thing that are collapsing in our age. Family is quickly deteriorating too.

I should just find the nearest sand dune and burry myself alive.

 

[LittleJem]

I'm with you on that one.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...who-says-mothers-love-is-unconditional.62557/

Sounds like my mom.

Let's be honest, the governmental institutions aren't the only thing that are collapsing in our age. Family is quickly deteriorating too.

I should just find the nearest sand dune and burry myself alive.

I think there have always always been abusive mothers. Yet talking about it in public is not seen as the right thing to do, as it is all swept under the carpet like some kind of Hallmark card. We're only allowed to say the nice things, and for those of us who are abused, where do we go to say these things.

 

[JamieD]

I was groomed at a young age by my late father and my mother stood by and did nothing......later when I was abused in a college she said it was God's will......any wonder I want out...

 

[Symbiote]

Will return to this thread later.

 

[Xdyzine]

It's the opposite for me, is it mother's day? , She's the only person to give a shit about me out of my two brothers and my a hole of a father. I didn't know it's mother's day cause ofy benzo addiction and drinking everyday. Is it?
I guess it's different for everyone, the person I love and who's my soulmate feels the same about her mother. I should get cake. But hey everyone else will hoard it. Sorry OP. Just wanted to know if it's actually the day for the person who brought us even though we didn't ask for it.

 

[Meditation guide]

My mother was abusive from the time I was born. My bf called my parents and gave them hell about how they treated me. I talk to them once a year. I moved out to the streets at age 14. I did my studying in alleyways. Graduated early, got a degree early, no word at all about it from my parents. No calls, nothing. I couldn't go to graduation because everyone else had their parents there.

 

[ithappens]

My mom is a lot better these days (to put it nicely) but she was really abusive towards me when I was underage and had to live in her household. Pretty much everything except sexual abuse played out in her house. The fact that she did a 180 within a year of my leaving and suddenly became interested in me, having a relationship with me, etc. is just yet another mind fuck from life. I know some people never get to reconcile with their parents, but for me her suddenly being a better person when I left is just another slap in the face after having to survive her BS. People say things like "you need to let go and move on" but how do you let go of being stunted in just about every way and having mental illnesses that (at least for the most part) were caused by your sole caregivers' abuse? And no matter what there's always this void in me where it feels like something is missing (not depression, but something else very distinct) that I am sure has to do with receiving practically 0 love or support or even basic care as a child. I have horrible memories and flashbacks at random times for no reason that make me get cold sweats and sometimes I vomit because of the stress. My autism also went undiagnosed despite many people asking my mom if I had it when I was young, and there being many signs. Part of it was because she was probably in denial and due to impressions in the 90s and early 2000s as to what autism even is, but a large part of it was also because she would not tolerate having anything less than a socially acceptable child. As she often said when I was young "I will not suffer having a stupid child". She even admitted to me several months back that she knows she was a horrible parent and left me with many problems, and that it was not just my imagination or perspective of the situation.

I know she's managed to become a different person now, but to be very honest even now I am resentful of what we had happen in the past, still angry and hurt, and am rightfully confused about my own feelings and what to do. It's hard for me to have healthy, normal relationships with those who are the best for me, nevermind with someone who makes me flinch unconsciously and start sweating when I'm around them. It's downright weird.

 

[Mendex]

My mother was abusive from the time I was born. My bf called my parents and gave them hell about how they treated me. I talk to them once a year. I moved out to the streets at age 14. I did my studying in alleyways. Graduated early, got a degree early, no word at all about it from my parents. No calls, nothing. I couldn't go to graduation because everyone else had their parents there.

Thats is amazing, I envy you in some way. Should do the same thing long time ago.
I spend part of my life, consuming garbage time and just give up everything at how/where I born.
In what degree you was majoring it?

 

[Meditation guide]

I went to a mostly women's college on full scholarship and those girls were rich. Their parents made them go and helped them with everything. Found them apartments, gave them everything. I had no one helping me and had to be an adult from the time I was 12. My degree is in business. I took summer classes so I got my degree early. My mother hated me for it.

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

Thank you for making this post, need somewhere for me rant.

Hey Mother, i don't wish you a happy fucking mothers day, you haven't done anything to earn it. You brought me into your fucked up abusive life then stood by and ignored me all my life.
Two weeks ago i told you how strong my suicidal intent was and you've not been in touch again since. How long will you let my body rot for when my time comes?
There is no happy mothers days for us. You may have biologically produced me but you didn't nurture me, now you leave me to suffer alone, i have no thanks for you. Just a big ole Fuck you!

This Be The Verse​

BY PHILIP LARKIN
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

 

[LittleJem]

It's the opposite for me, is it mother's day? , She's the only person to give a shit about me out of my two brothers and my a hole of a father. I didn't know it's mother's day cause ofy benzo addiction and drinking everyday. Is it?
I guess it's different for everyone, the person I love and who's my soulmate feels the same about her mother. I should get cake. But hey everyone else will hoard it. Sorry OP. Just wanted to know if it's actually the day for the person who brought us even though we didn't ask for it.

I think it's Sunday - but that is in the UK and the USA date is apparently the second Sunday in May.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

My mother only failed at a couple of things, too bad that they were vital.

 

[262653]

Isn't the biomom's day in May?

Ed: I wouldn't call mine a mother but instead a life support system. In my unrealistic, unreasonable view, mother is guiding her offspring into adulthood, gradually introducing into all things survival, then parts her ways with the offspring.

 

[Symbiote]

Most of you know my story of my mom, so I'm going to write up a different perspective of it.

My mom had a total of 6 children, I'm the last of her children, my brother is the 5th. The rest are all dead, died young or in one case, the sister I never knew, drowned herself in the river after a row with my mom. I think in some ways the hardships of life took a toll on my mom's mental health, but why conceive child after child knowing that you couldn't look after them? She once told me when I was 12, that she expected her children to take care of her when she's old, and that we should feel grateful for the sacrifices she made to care for us. It is in her selective memory that the actions she chose for me and my brother were different. My brother is the golden child of the family, smart, educated, resilient, and emotionally cold. Today he's a multi-millionaire stock market investor and retired at the age of 42. He receive my mom's love even though he has told me it wasn't all rainbows and flowers. At times during his life, mom was cold, uncaring, un-empathetic, and continued to introduce to him many men as father role models. None of them stuck around of course.

While my mom saw my brother as a potential provider to her in later years and valued education and career foremost for him, she viewed me a commodity to be sold at an early age. Maybe it was a time where laws were laxed in America and that you could get away with a lot of shit back in the 80s. My mom enjoyed her life as a prostitute and stripper. She made money off of her body, but since I was born, that career died away and she was getting less and deemed unattractive due to the large C-Section scar on her stomach. She still blamed me for being born that way all the way till her dying day. She hated my biological father. like absolutely burning fucking hatred so bad that she wanted him killed many times over. I don't know what he did exactly wrong, I mean, he gave her a house, a car, 50,000 dollars, etc. She was mad maybe that his demonspawn, ME, ruined her career as a stripper/prostitute? Never knew, but she always never minced her words by comparing little old me to my father. I'll grow up exactly like him, a liar, a drunkard, a dullard, etc. No matter how hard I tried to impress her or make her love me, she always resorted to her beliefs.

So imagine growing up, used as a sexual commodity by old men, and believing that it was a normal thing, plus having to deal with the fact that your mom hates you, but I didn't figure that part out until I was 25-28 years old after years of therapy, that I was always pining for my mom's love and affection. Yeah she was right about one thing, I was a fucking dumbass. A dumbfuck little shit hilariously trying to get his mom to love him. Something definitely was wrong with that shithead. That continued until I was 31, when I finally said goodbye to her forever when she disowned me after I had paid off all her liens on her rental properties and successfully sold one of them for half a million. Yes, the HS and college dropout was able to sell a run-down historical property for half a million just because he loved his mom and wanted her to live a good life. Instead, all I got was, "You're just like your father, rotten, dirty old man, and a liar."

I remember to always wished my mom happy mothers day or happy birthday, or merry xmas, and so on. Even when I lived 2000 miles away from her and had my own life. Never in my entire lifetime I received a happy birthday or merry xmas. All I got when she picked up the phone and recognized my voice, "Wow, you're not dead in a field yet?" She would then ramble off all the stuff she would blame on me, like she had kept them inside of her for months until I called on those days and then she unleashed it, but I was used to it. All I responded was, "I understand, uh huh, and yep.." Sometimes it hurt deep inside, sometimes I felt nothing.

My mom died in 2015. She disowned me a year before that by telling me that I'm like my father and that she never considered me as her son. No matter how hard I try or how many accomplishments I had, her beliefs held strong. She didn't get to see me get married or finally buy my own house or realized how sad I had become after her death. She never got to see my brother and I reconciled and united. She may be turning over in her ashes that my brother gave me the other half of her will to me, even when I didn't want it. So now if she was alive, she hate him too. I'll never understand why my mom hated me so much, something that she never told anyone. I had to find my own closure the hard way and it never really fully closes. All I wanted was my mom to apologize and love me. The rest I can do on my own.

 

[nasblue]

So my colleagues are all mums and were talking about Mother's Day in our Zoom meeting and asked me what I'm doing for it. There are worse mothers out there than my mother, I know. But I just want to start this FUCK my mother thread for anyone that wants to share about their mothers.

Last night I had a dream in which my mother was starring. I told her very clearly I never wanted to see or speak to her again. Which I have also said to her in real life since she abandoned me when I really needed her. It made me realise, she has always abused me and not been there when I needed her, and when she has been there she has also been abusive. She is not a safe person for me to be anywhere near. Being so ill these past years and her continued abuse - it's just the same continuation. It's not a change. She has always abused me, and this year she abused me when I needed her the most.

In my dream, she was in a hotel room with me at a conference event and she was shaming me and abusing me.

She is an abusive, lying, vile person. She is still telling lies about me since we have become estranged when she left me terribly ill and bedridden with no care or support from her, while she went on holiday to Egypt as I lay bedridden to see one of her boyfriends, then went to Scotland to care for her other boyfriend/partner as he was ill and in hospital. I spent that year telling her how upset I was, that she needed to make amends or we would become estranged. I gave her one whole year of a chance and begged her to make amends and nothing. During this time, she has abused me as usual, telling me she was going to move house and not tell me where she was moving to (like she's been saying to me since I was a small child), questioning all my decisions e.g. about my divorce, and giving me no support even though I was ill, heartbroken and bedridden. When I was (and am) being bullied at work, she just made sneering and dismissive noises.

Before this, when I was well enough, I used to invite her round when I was married for many dinners and to stay over (even when she accused my then husband of domestic abuse without asking for my opinion and it was not true). I paid for a holiday to Egypt for her for her 60th birthday and bought her a new passport, and she accused me of wanting her money (which she doesn't have any). She hadn't been abroad for years. I saw her often and did everything I could to a) excuse her illness and behaviour and b) be a good daughter.

I just want to say FUCK her. FUCK her to hell. I made excuses for her for so long, that she called me the 'devil incarnate' when I was a small child, didn't support me to make friends or learn manners but left me to fend for myself, never did our washing or made sure we were appropriately dressed, and is a compulsive hoarder that made me grow up in a home infested with moths, mould and mice. This has affected my lungs permanently. She called me a million names as I was growing up, that I was 'such a selfish girl', that 'no wonder I didn't have friends', that 'she loved the abortion she had more than she loved me' and that I was the one who had 'ruined her marriage' (I was like 5 or 8 years old). And that my father had left because he didn't love me enough.

She terrified me in ways I still do not feel or understand, as I feel so numb after her abuse.

FUCK her. FUCK her to hell.

What a coincidence, in my current depressed and angry ruminations I always dwell on my mother.

I can relate to a lot of things you said although the form of abuse was probably a little different since I'm a guy and the only one of my siblings who resembles my dad.

My dad is also a good starting point for a rant, he's an absolute psychopath, cheating, abusing and neglecting his way through life. This is the only man she claims to ever have loved, which speaks volumes about herself.

She's an unreflected, inhumane narcissist unfit to be a mother or have any sort of human interaction which, as it turns out, she doesn't have except for abusing others. This perspective makes it almost sad and pathetic if I didn't know she'll never change or admit any mistakes. I can't recall her apologizing to anyone for anything ever because why should she? She can just gaslight and verbally abuse her way out of anything.

The things you said about manipulation also ring true, especially verbal.

The only positive I can draw from this is that I magically became healthier, more active and more confident as soon as I left the toxic clouds that surround her.

Unfortunately my childhood and other things have damaged me for life.

Most of you know my story of my mom, so I'm going to write up a different perspective of it.

My mom had a total of 6 children, I'm the last of her children, my brother is the 5th. The rest are all dead, died young or in one case, the sister I never knew, drowned herself in the river after a row with my mom. I think in some ways the hardships of life took a toll on my mom's mental health, but why conceive child after child knowing that you couldn't look after them? She once told me when I was 12, that she expected her children to take care of her when she's old, and that we should feel grateful for the sacrifices she made to care for us. It is in her selective memory that the actions she chose for me and my brother were different. My brother is the golden child of the family, smart, educated, resilient, and emotionally cold. Today he's a multi-millionaire stock market investor and retired at the age of 42. He receive my mom's love even though he has told me it wasn't all rainbows and flowers. At times during his life, mom was cold, uncaring, un-empathetic, and continued to introduce to him many men as father role models. None of them stuck around of course.

While my mom saw my brother as a potential provider to her in later years and valued education and career foremost for him, she viewed me a commodity to be sold at an early age. Maybe it was a time where laws were laxed in America and that you could get away with a lot of shit back in the 80s. My mom enjoyed her life as a prostitute and stripper. She made money off of her body, but since I was born, that career died away and she was getting less and deemed unattractive due to the large C-Section scar on her stomach. She still blamed me for being born that way all the way till her dying day. She hated my biological father. like absolutely burning fucking hatred so bad that she wanted him killed many times over. I don't know what he did exactly wrong, I mean, he gave her a house, a car, 50,000 dollars, etc. She was mad maybe that his demonspawn, ME, ruined her career as a stripper/prostitute? Never knew, but she always never minced her words by comparing little old me to my father. I'll grow up exactly like him, a liar, a drunkard, a dullard, etc. No matter how hard I tried to impress her or make her love me, she always resorted to her beliefs.

So imagine growing up, used as a sexual commodity by old men, and believing that it was a normal thing, plus having to deal with the fact that your mom hates you, but I didn't figure that part out until I was 25-28 years old after years of therapy, that I was always pining for my mom's love and affection. Yeah she was right about one thing, I was a fucking dumbass. A dumbfuck little shit hilariously trying to get his mom to love him. Something definitely was wrong with that shithead. That continued until I was 31, when I finally said goodbye to her forever when she disowned me after I had paid off all her liens on her rental properties and successfully sold one of them for half a million. Yes, the HS and college dropout was able to sell a run-down historical property for half a million just because he loved his mom and wanted her to live a good life. Instead, all I got was, "You're just like your father, rotten, dirty old man, and a liar."

I remember to always wished my mom happy mothers day or happy birthday, or merry xmas, and so on. Even when I lived 2000 miles away from her and had my own life. Never in my entire lifetime I received a happy birthday or merry xmas. All I got when she picked up the phone and recognized my voice, "Wow, you're not dead in a field yet?" She would then ramble off all the stuff she would blame on me, like she had kept them inside of her for months until I called on those days and then she unleashed it, but I was used to it. All I responded was, "I understand, uh huh, and yep.." Sometimes it hurt deep inside, sometimes I felt nothing.

My mom died in 2015. She disowned me a year before that by telling me that I'm like my father and that she never considered me as her son. No matter how hard I try or how many accomplishments I had, her beliefs held strong. She didn't get to see me get married or finally buy my own house or realized how sad I had become after her death. She never got to see my brother and I reconciled and united. She may be turning over in her ashes that my brother gave me the other half of her will to me, even when I didn't want it. So now if she was alive, she hate him too. I'll never understand why my mom hated me so much, something that she never told anyone. I had to find my own closure the hard way and it never really fully closes. All I wanted was my mom to apologize and love me. The rest I can do on my own.

Why did your mom hate you?
Because she was a degenerate psychopath, sorry to say it.

You seem to be doing well, I'm happy for you.

 

[Freedom Believer]

My mom was the reason my family fell apart. For years she manipulated me into thinking that my dad was the bad guy and, eventually, that dad was the reason my brother left the family. It took me growing up to realize that she was the problem. She manipulated my brother into turning against dad and turning my brother into a complete mess. When the two of them broke up and lived in separate homes, when she got injured and couldn't work, my dad took her in his house and wouldn't leave once she healed. This ultimately resulted them in the two fighting a lot and broke my brother even more. By the time my brother left, I realized then that she was the problem.

I was so glad when my dad finally kicked her out, changed the locks and told her to never come back. She was at that point dating an abusive "boyfriend" and my dad was fine with it because it gave him an excuse to kick her out. It didn't surprise me that the boyfriend was abusive and I didn't care because it was karma kicking her in the face. Ultimately she became a total drug addict and was found unconscious in her fucked up apartment. Because of her drug habits she had dementia and thinks that I'm in elementary school and now lives in a retirement home.

Over time, my dad has asked me to forgive her and that my mom did love me and my brother. The pain of what she did still lingers and I don't know if I can ever forgive her. Things could've been different in my family had she not fucked everything up. My dad made his share of mistakes but it pales in comparison to what my mom did.

 

[Neowise]

My mother is a narcissist and has some sort of god complex which manifests itself through emotional abuse. She is the reason I am on this forum.

Funny story: a few years back she bought herself a keychain on mother's day which reads "best mother of the world". She said she got it so that her keys are more handily which makes sense, but the words written on it are suspicious.

 

[woknows]

Noth my parents are abusive. I totally agree. Such parents deserve no respect and consideration. They had no respect and consideration for their own children. People who have not been through such abuse simply do not get it.

 

[929er]

freaking hate the bitch for bringing me into this world and giving me a miserable upbringing and then further ruining my life after my father died. she's so submissive to my sister and her payed "boyfriend' that's like a few years older than myself. yuck. sometimes i forget how awful she is and has been but then i feel gross after having nice or normal interactions with her because i know she'll be back to her awful actions against me in no time. she recently reached a new level of messed up by humiliating me because of food.

 

[suicidesheep31]

I also hate my mother. She was hurting her belly when she was pregnant of me just to stop the arguments she had with my father. She knew that by hurting her belly, the arguments will stop. She also did that for my first brother and he is dead. He only lived 15 days. While she decided to never hit my second brother, she was no worried to hit me when I was 10 y-old just because i was not fast enough for her. She was alcoholic and didn't care of my needs. When I had a sternum broken, she said that it was nothing, only a bruise. I had to insist to go to the hospital. When I left her home to study at the university, she said that she was not able to give me some money to buy food. I was starving. When I started self-harm and knew it from a teacher I had, she said absolutely nothing. She is not the worse obviously but I HATE her and FUCK mother's day!!!!!!!
Thanks for this thread.

 

[embrace_release]

Most of you know my story of my mom, so I'm going to write up a different perspective of it.

My mom had a total of 6 children, I'm the last of her children, my brother is the 5th. The rest are all dead, died young or in one case, the sister I never knew, drowned herself in the river after a row with my mom. I think in some ways the hardships of life took a toll on my mom's mental health, but why conceive child after child knowing that you couldn't look after them? She once told me when I was 12, that she expected her children to take care of her when she's old, and that we should feel grateful for the sacrifices she made to care for us. It is in her selective memory that the actions she chose for me and my brother were different. My brother is the golden child of the family, smart, educated, resilient, and emotionally cold. Today he's a multi-millionaire stock market investor and retired at the age of 42. He receive my mom's love even though he has told me it wasn't all rainbows and flowers. At times during his life, mom was cold, uncaring, un-empathetic, and continued to introduce to him many men as father role models. None of them stuck around of course.

While my mom saw my brother as a potential provider to her in later years and valued education and career foremost for him, she viewed me a commodity to be sold at an early age. Maybe it was a time where laws were laxed in America and that you could get away with a lot of shit back in the 80s. My mom enjoyed her life as a prostitute and stripper. She made money off of her body, but since I was born, that career died away and she was getting less and deemed unattractive due to the large C-Section scar on her stomach. She still blamed me for being born that way all the way till her dying day. She hated my biological father. like absolutely burning fucking hatred so bad that she wanted him killed many times over. I don't know what he did exactly wrong, I mean, he gave her a house, a car, 50,000 dollars, etc. She was mad maybe that his demonspawn, ME, ruined her career as a stripper/prostitute? Never knew, but she always never minced her words by comparing little old me to my father. I'll grow up exactly like him, a liar, a drunkard, a dullard, etc. No matter how hard I tried to impress her or make her love me, she always resorted to her beliefs.

So imagine growing up, used as a sexual commodity by old men, and believing that it was a normal thing, plus having to deal with the fact that your mom hates you, but I didn't figure that part out until I was 25-28 years old after years of therapy, that I was always pining for my mom's love and affection. Yeah she was right about one thing, I was a fucking dumbass. A dumbfuck little shit hilariously trying to get his mom to love him. Something definitely was wrong with that shithead. That continued until I was 31, when I finally said goodbye to her forever when she disowned me after I had paid off all her liens on her rental properties and successfully sold one of them for half a million. Yes, the HS and college dropout was able to sell a run-down historical property for half a million just because he loved his mom and wanted her to live a good life. Instead, all I got was, "You're just like your father, rotten, dirty old man, and a liar."

I remember to always wished my mom happy mothers day or happy birthday, or merry xmas, and so on. Even when I lived 2000 miles away from her and had my own life. Never in my entire lifetime I received a happy birthday or merry xmas. All I got when she picked up the phone and recognized my voice, "Wow, you're not dead in a field yet?" She would then ramble off all the stuff she would blame on me, like she had kept them inside of her for months until I called on those days and then she unleashed it, but I was used to it. All I responded was, "I understand, uh huh, and yep.." Sometimes it hurt deep inside, sometimes I felt nothing.

My mom died in 2015. She disowned me a year before that by telling me that I'm like my father and that she never considered me as her son. No matter how hard I try or how many accomplishments I had, her beliefs held strong. She didn't get to see me get married or finally buy my own house or realized how sad I had become after her death. She never got to see my brother and I reconciled and united. She may be turning over in her ashes that my brother gave me the other half of her will to me, even when I didn't want it. So now if she was alive, she hate him too. I'll never understand why my mom hated me so much, something that she never told anyone. I had to find my own closure the hard way and it never really fully closes. All I wanted was my mom to apologize and love me. The rest I can do on my own.

That sounds fucking rough man. Really hard to hear that you wanted love but she just spit on you.
Don't blame yourself, buddy. Your mom clearly had issues with herself and the world that had no origins that stemmed from you as a person. You just simply were born into the unfortunate position of a scapegoat. I really hope you can let go of her being unable to love you because of the stones she laid in her own way.

If you ever catch yourself drawing parallels to your dad again, think about that it's like this not because she was right all along, but because she never gave you another perspective.
You're were shaped to walk crooked, recognize that you're able to stand up if you'll let go of that. Best of luck my friend.

 

[Water-Lily]

You are not alone. I was abused by my mother and enabled by my father. Society has this fucke dup mentality that "all women and mothers are loving" and in reality that is far from the truth. Yes, there are mothers who are good mom's, but there are many more who are horribly abusive. Just know you are not alone as myself and other members on this site have had shit moms

I was groomed at a young age by my late father and my mother stood by and did nothing......later when I was abused in a college she said it was God's will......any wonder I want out...

I too faced abuse in college. Bulling and sexual assault

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Im already seeing fuckin mothers day bullshit here in CA.

My mother is worthless piece of shit. She actively constantly smear campaigned me all my life since a child. She used to scream.at me endlessly and some strangers had to tell her to stop.

Shes manipulative and sick. She acts like she fucking cares but LOVES IT when im struggling. She loves to be able to save me and then discard me or resent me bc "im too much" when really shes just a trigger.

She told people EVERYTHING about me. I hate her so fucking much.

She used me for my money/abused me financially/mentally/physically/habitually.

She made me homeless on multiple occasion. called the police on me bc she was upset and not getting her way.

She was jealous of me all my life. Tried to throw me under the bus all the fuckin time. I hate her

Theres.so much I'd be a god damn book.

I hope she fucking dies a painful and lonely death. That cunt deserves nothing good.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

I can't stand my mom. She participated greatly in destroying my life and now that I'm so traumatized and need someone to talk she refuses to listen. I have a brain injury plus trauma so it's hard for me to verbally communicate my emotions and it's easier via text, so when I'm having flashbacks I message her but she always ignore my texts :( she also is very unsupportive about my injury and doesn't seem to care at all that the drugs she made me took destroyed me.

 

[WornOutLife]

I hate but love my mother.

She's mentally ill. She suffers from schizophrenia and you can't imagine what a demon she can become.
She thinks everybody is plotting against her so as to kill her.
Everytime my dad cooks something she's like "You didn't put poison in my food, did you?"

Last year, when I was a prisoner at me parents' house, she made me spend a hellish time and last Christmas was the worst event I could've ever experienced.

Still, she's my mom. I wish she was normal but she's not and she's getting older. I just want her to be at peace soon but I'm scared of her living until she's 100.

Who on Earth will take care of her? I certainly won't. I can barely deal with my mind.

 

[Escape Artist]

Shes manipulative and sick. She acts like she fucking cares but LOVES IT when im struggling. She loves to be able to save me and then discard me or resent me bc "im too much" when really shes just a trigger.

Wow. Sounds so much like my mom. I know my mom must really have had a traumatic childhood and all. I just wish she wouldn't have had kids. My mom tells everyone things about me plus makes up what seems to be pointless lies about me. Truth be told I'm a dick to her, but I think my anger is justified. I wish I could control it, though. I say terrible things to her. How could I not be angry? She let my dad physically abuse me for years, didn't let me go to school or get medical attention (my dad had paranoid delusions and religiosity and she went along with him). I know it's not something she probably wanted to do but I can't get over it. I know it's very hard for women to get out of abusive relationships. I just can't get over it though. I HATE that fake savior shit too. Plus she's never listened to me in her life. Talking to her is like screaming into outer space. She hits me with passive aggression til I snap and yell and then she's the innocent victim and there's no way to show her what she's doing.

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

Can I rant about other relatives? I don't wanna get too descriptive.. but here's a few things. I'm going to call them A, B, C and D. I'm using alias because I'm paranoid.

C is my mom. A and B are siblings of my mom. D stands for two people. D are the parents of A, B and C.

A is a false, holier than thou, play pretend Christian that thinks they are above everyone else. They act like a martyr for doing the bear minimum, when C has been doing 95% of D's care for over a decade and a half. D needs serious care. C repeatedly would call and beg both A and B for help because caring for D was way too much work for just one person. A and B always said they 'had lives'. In the last couple years, shit hit the fan. I won't get into it.

A swooped in, pretended to be the perfect child and manipulated everyone in my family into thinking C is a terrible person. C is a wonderful person and the most honest, caring and kind hearted person I know. A is full of pleasant smiles behind a shark grin. A will throw you under the bus if it means they can get one inch ahead in their own life.

B goes along with A. B also power trips over C and myself. B would scream at C and never apologize. B is not nearly as bad as A.. and I am on okay terms with B right now.

What hurts the most is that for nearly my entire life C told me I could ALWAYS depend on A and B to be there for me, and they would ALWAYS care about me. What I foudn out was that when money is involved, A will throw their own sibling under the bus, make up rumours about them, and outright lie about them to make the family hate them. A was doing this bullshit before this point too.. (but not to that extreme) but C didn't tell me because C didn't want to "ruin my relationship with A".

I am in a weird fucking situation where I am on "good terms" with A. As in, I greet A pleasantly when I have to contact them via texting. I tell them nice things. I tell them thank you and how much I appreciate the work they do. And.. I fucking HATE MYSELF FOR IT. I hate myself for fucking DOING THAT. WHY DO I DO THAT. WHY DO I STILL WANT A'S APPROVAL???? I HATE IT.

I know A does not love me. I know this now. I was clsoe to A my entire life. I thought A would always be there for me. I was so wrong. I was absolutely so wrong. It was all an act. Every phrase, every comforting word. I looked back, and realized with shock, it was ALWAYS in front of D. A showed off their 'love and affection' for me only when D WAS THERE. A only gave me comforting talks WHEN D WAS THERE. A never once, with no one else around, gave me any kind of kindness. I realize that now. it crushes me.. but I realize it as the truth.

In fact, I have a memory of a get together when I was about 14- 15... I was self conscious as most teens are. A came over and joked and said something about my make up that was negative. I can't remember what. I used the excuse that I had let A's child (who was about 6 at the time) do my makeup for me. A then jokingly said 'You look like a corpse.'

That's just a little sample of how 'sweet, gentle caring A' really acts when they are not on performance playing the part of a loving and supportive relative. And oh, they do play the part so very well. So very well that it fooled the oblivious me for 25 years. A plays it so well everyone in our family believes them. A is the martyr hero. A is the pure, loving, selfless, martyr that now cares for D since evil, lazy, horrible C just "couldn't handle it anymore". (LIE - C needed HELP - C was OKAY WITH DOING MOST OF HTE WORK AS LONG AS THEY FUCKING HELPED)

I want to set fire to A's house. (That is JUST A FANTASY - no I would absolutely fucking NOT actually set their house on fire.)

Even as a fantasy, with no one in A's house.. I want to watch that fucker burn to cinder and ashes.

FUCK you A. You are a sanctimonious, slimy, back stabbing, narcissistic piece of shit. I hope to God, if anything exists up there, that you get what's coming to you.

Because you racked up a fuck load of Karma A. If reincarnation exists - you are coming back as bacteria. That is how far you have fallen from being a decent human being.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Will return to this thread later.

was Captain Jack running off because he didn't like this thread or because he saw Amber Heard coming???

 

[filthyrottendirty]

She should have gotten me tested for autism instead of ignoring it and letting me think I was normal or had an abortion