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nohopenohappiness

nohopenohappiness

24yearsofsaddness
Oct 11, 2022
13
I took today to reflect on how people treated me back then and currently. I hold great anger for those who bullied and abused me and undermined my character. This is just sick it makes me sick to think I let them abuse me in this way I go back and think just maybe if I had defended myself it would have gave me more control. The more the days ,weeks, months go by my the day is getting closer to ctb I wonder if my Sadness, depression ,anxiety can be justified for extreme anger and distruction
 
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artificial_ineptness

artificial_ineptness

Member
Nov 14, 2021
93
It is sad, especially when some of the bullies live much better lives than you, and have everyone else supporting them. I wish I was more capable of standing up for myself.

The more the days ,weeks, months go by my the day is getting closer to ctb I wonder if my Sadness, depression ,anxiety can be justified for extreme anger and distruction
I have felt quite angry for long periods of time and thought about something similar, but these days I don't think it's right. What's the point of being angry, anyway? Just making yourself feel worse? If you are anything like I am and let these things build up then you can end up acting out in an extreme / disproportionate way that is not really justified or remotely useful. I guess you might feel cathartic ... but I think it usually doesn't outweigh the damages caused.

Not sure if that's even fully directed towards you, maybe it's more of what I wish I could tell to my past self. The time I spent being angry was time wasted.
 
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HermitLonerGuy

HermitLonerGuy

Warlock
Sep 28, 2022
707
everyone human and living species engages in bullying, you and i probably have bullied someone even thou we wont admit it or did it unknowingly. life is shit and cruel.
 
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gomenasai

gomenasai

Student
Sep 30, 2022
168
yes, we're either the victim or the bully, there's no other way
 
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Nirrend

Nirrend

The important is not how long you live ...
Mar 12, 2022
400
I took today to reflect on how people treated me back then and currently. I hold great anger for those who bullied and abused me and undermined my character. This is just sick it makes me sick to think I let them abuse me in this way I go back and think just maybe if I had defended myself it would have gave me more control. The more the days ,weeks, months go by my the day is getting closer to ctb I wonder if my Sadness, depression ,anxiety can be justified for extreme anger and distruction

Hi dear @nohopenohappiness

You know, when there's pain, wathever you lived or the way you interpret the events, you'll always be legitimate to feel what you are feeling.

People who want to ctb can be motivated for many and various reasons, but they are always legitimate to think that ctb is the right decision for them and they are always legitimate to feel that such a thing can makes them sad even if it may not have the same effect on someone else.

When you talk of being bullied, I understand, I was bullied in the past too.

Being abused leave deep and really hard sequels to deal with. We feel that we will never be the same, that we became paranoid to the point that for us, everybody can abuse us again, so we could think "Is it really worth it to trust someone again ?", we also feel terribly alone, we feel dirty, we feel damaged or only hanging by a thread..

I really understand that, I swear <3

It seems like you are wondering if your pain, sadness, anxiety is due to your extreme anger and self destruction or desire of distruction. I would say most likely yes and no.

I think that, the sadness could be explained by your anger, but also because you think that there will be no justice, because you lost a lot of self confidence, because you feel profondly hurt by the cruelty of people...

That's understandable, I'm sorry <3

Now, when you talk about your desire to ctb, it's your choice and if you think that this is the right choice, it's because it is probably (I don't know, I'm not you).

But, I hope that you could cry a lot. Cry a lot on all of these events, but so deeply that all the anger could vanish.

Of course, I imagine that you already cried, but I imagine that your cry were more meaning "there"s no hopes" than, I want to get rid of it for good. In any case, If I'm hurting, I'm really sorry, this is not my objective <3

Crying could help you to spend more time on others really important things of your life and maybe, I hope, letting go all the violence you lived could make you more relived, and I imagine that you could make decisions (ctb or not) but with more peace and serenity.

Anyway, loving you beautiful soul, nothing is easy in life, but I guess, that for some people, nothing is hard in life

Love, I wish you to find the serenity and love you deserve <3
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
Hi dear @nohopenohappiness

You know, when there's pain, wathever you lived or the way you interpret the events, you'll always be legitimate to feel what you are feeling.

People who want to ctb can be motivated for many and various reasons, but they are always legitimate to think that ctb is the right decision for them and they are always legitimate to feel that such a thing can makes them sad even if it may not have the same effect on someone else.

When you talk of being bullied, I understand, I was bullied in the past too.

Being abused leave deep and really hard sequels to deal with. We feel that we will never be the same, that we became paranoid to the point that for us, everybody can abuse us again, so we could think "Is it really worth it to trust someone again ?", we also feel terribly alone, we feel dirty, we feel damaged or only hanging by a thread..

I really understand that, I swear <3

It seems like you are wondering if your pain, sadness, anxiety is due to your extreme anger and self destruction or desire of distruction. I would say most likely yes and no.

I think that, the sadness could be explained by your anger, but also because you think that there will be no justice, because you lost a lot of self confidence, because you feel profondly hurt by the cruelty of people...

That's understandable, I'm sorry <3

Now, when you talk about your desire to ctb, it's your choice and if you think that this is the right choice, it's because it is probably (I don't know, I'm not you).

But, I hope that you could cry a lot. Cry a lot on all of these events, but so deeply that all the anger could vanish.

Of course, I imagine that you already cried, but I imagine that your cry were more meaning "there"s no hopes" than, I want to get rid of it for good. In any case, If I'm hurting, I'm really sorry, this is not my objective <3

Crying could help you to spend more time on others really important things of your life and maybe, I hope, letting go all the violence you lived could make you more relived, and I imagine that you could make decisions (ctb or not) but with more peace and serenity.

Anyway, loving you beautiful soul, nothing is easy in life, but I guess, that for some people, nothing is hard in life

Love, I wish you to find the serenity and love you deserve <3
@Nirrend, You are a very compassionate person and very well spoken, that was a kind and thoughtful reply to @nohopenohappiness,The world needs people like you, Bless you 💝
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,932
Humans can really be so cruel and awful. It's horrible but yet not shocking or surprising that people create so much harm and make the lives of others much worse. When I hear of how people often behave it certainly makes the thought of non existence sound even more appealing for me.
 
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Nirrend

Nirrend

The important is not how long you live ...
Mar 12, 2022
400
@Nirrend, You are a very compassionate person and very well spoken, that was a kind and thoughtful reply to @nohopenohappiness,The world needs people like you, Bless you 💝

You are so sweet <3, thank you

Loving you beautiful soul <3
 
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E

eldiablo666

Evil Always Prevail
Sep 25, 2022
323
Bullies ruined my entire life.
It all spiralled to hell from that point and one thing lead to another.

It's sad, because I've come to hate people in general and I think it all stems from those experiences
 
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nohopenohappiness

nohopenohappiness

24yearsofsaddness
Oct 11, 2022
13
humans beings like myself just simple allows others to walk all over them with ease i currently I find myself in a dilemma ive heard this saying for years "hurt people hurt people" I would question this notion and say human beings have need to feed there ego,s that is those who have no heart everyday wake up and hurt abuse the Weak & sad in order to feel powerful the power that the other person does not have this creates perfect storm for a opperser and leaves the other truly in pain and suffering in agany but when the pain gets to much can the one in pain cause the pain to those who put him though so much of it is that justified?
 
LookingOverTheEdge

LookingOverTheEdge

Hello Darkness my old friend
Jul 13, 2020
355
humans beings like myself just simple allows others to walk all over them with ease i currently I find myself in a dilemma ive heard this saying for years "hurt people hurt people"
I've genuinely never heard that before. In my experience, people who are hurting are far more likely to try and spare others from pain.
 
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
humans beings like myself just simple allows others to walk all over them with ease i currently I find myself in a dilemma ive heard this saying for years "hurt people hurt people" I would question this notion and say human beings have need to feed there ego,s that is those who have no heart everyday wake up and hurt abuse the Weak & sad in order to feel powerful the power that the other person does not have this creates perfect storm for a opperser and leaves the other truly in pain and suffering in agany but when the pain gets to much can the one in pain cause the pain to those who put him though so much of it is that justified?
I've always believed the saying Treat people as they treat you, Treat me decently and I will return it to you twofold,Treat me like a fool and l will Crap on the graves of their ancestors!
 
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