Venting frustrated

[casss]

i've been practicing partial hanging every day, whenever I could get a spare moment alone, for about a week, and i've got pretty good at inducing a light-headed feeling. never went further than that though. chose today as the day i'd go all the way as i have a few hours to myself, but when it came down to it, i couldn't recreate the feeling. i mostly just got the pounding head pressure, and i don't understand why. i've been doing it exactly the same way every time, but for some reason this time it was different. it's so fucking frustrating to think that i have to go through another week of this shit just to get another chance, and it may not even work then, either.

i've fucked everything else in my life up, so i guess i should have expected this to be no different.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly hate how difficult it is to die in this world, the fear of failing is why I've never attempted and that does sound like a frustrating situation to be trapped in. To me it's very unfortunate how as humans we are denied the option to pass away in peace without risks and complications, but I hope that you eventually find what you are searching for.