Venting Frustrated

[punkarmadillo]

I'm desperate to CTB it's been over for years but I cannot seem to find a fail safe option that is available to me and affordable. I have a child and a husband so it can't be in the house. Weapons are unavailable, I can't find a source of SN and everything else would need to be in place prior due to not wanting it around my family. Unfortunately it seems my SI is strong. I live on the coast at a spot many folk have accidentally and intentionally passed in the sea but I have stood at high tide and not managed to go swim. I can't seem to jump, again SI is irritatingly strong I also would rather not use methods that traumatise anyone else or put others at risk.
all I know is it can't fail and I need out. Not a good mix When I can't seem to find an available method.

 

[wantittoendsoon]

Maybe find a partner near you?

 

[punkarmadillo]

Maybe find a partner near you?

I'm unsure how sensible that is. It involves a lot of trust doesn't it. Also would I then be responsible for them CTB?

 

[wantittoendsoon]

I'm unsure how sensible that is. It involves a lot of trust doesn't it. Also would I then be responsible for them CTB?

yes. lots of trust. but if you don't help in any way or encourage it should be alright...you have to male decision individually

 

[BBBB]

I'm so sorry. I think many of us are in the same situation; looking for a "fail safe, affordable option." I wish I had an answer but I don't or I wouldn't be here anymore myself. BUT I'm here to listen.

 

[MidnightCat]

I'm sorry to hear that..

 

[punkarmadillo]

Thank you. It's just a shitty situation to be in. I can't understand how I want to remove myself from this existence so much yet I can't seem to do the free option of jumping into the sea. It sure as hell annoys me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally don't really believe that the whole suicide partner thing is a good idea as you just simply cannot trust people and such a thing just leads to more complications if somebody else is involved in plans to die.

But I really understand as to why you would feel so frustrated, I certainly hate the fact that actually going through suicide can be really difficult, complicated, involves so many risks and is just something that is inaccessible if one wishes to leave in a peaceful and reliable way. We really shouldn't have to suffer so much in finding ways to leave and none of us should have to feel so trapped here, the difficulties involved in suicide is the only reason as to why I exist. It really is like the survival instinct exists just to prolong our suffering as well. I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Fulminare]

I wouldn't recommend the partner thread either. It's too dangerous and there's a bunch of weird people on there (no offense).

 

[punkarmadillo]

Partnering definitely seems like a bad idea to me. I don't trust folk easily and this just seems like a recipe for disaster, I do understand some folks reasons for pooling resources but it's not for me. I just wish my body would do the respectable thing and give up.