my husband tells me my delusions are my perfect justifications for killing myself.... they dont know how to relate to us or cope with what we are going through, so they come up with their own justifications. planning your death probably gives you a feeling of control and comfort, whereas getting better is a nonlinear, unclear and difficult process. they aren't equals in terms of the amount of effort they take, how immediately rewarding they are, and it doesnt address the massive holes in the mental health care system.