Friend on here ... anyone experienced

[Ross]

Possibly aimed at the longer standing members.

Has anyone built up a friendship on here the then the person has gone ahead with the task?

Did this encourage u more on own quest or make u change mind seeing and feeling it from the other side?

 

[Soul]

Yes. Can I ask why you're asking?

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

The strangest thing about the goodbye threads I've read from those I have interacted with and not, is that I'm still sad to see them go. It's like a community of people who finally understand how my mind works and even if we hadn't interacted, I understand.

It more so allows me to feel like I'm not alone and empathetic towards those who CTB. It's not my time yet, but I do look forward to meeting them on the other side... if there is one.

 

[not_a_robot]

Possibly aimed at the longer standing members.

Has anyone built up a friendship on here the then the person has gone ahead with the task?

Did this encourage u more on own quest or make u change mind seeing and feeling it from the other side?

Both. It really fucks me up when someone I like sets their date. But mostly just makes me wish I could be going with them.

 

[RM5998]

Yes... Sort of. I wasn't here when they went... I wish I had been.

 

[Ross]

Yes. Can I ask why you're asking?

I never knew these type of forum even existed.
I've suffered depression pretty bad for few years now after I was strewed over and wrongfully imprisoned few years back and can't get any appeal.
I was very close to doing (although I think it was mainly the anti depressants and alcohol I consumed that gave me the courage. But by luck (I call it now) I had zero clue on how to tie up belt and frankly wasn't prepared.

Anyway fast forward a few months and one is my best friends has done. Out the blue with no message or note (although she did cor visit before)
I'm in total shock and has totally changed my view on the subject. I've come off anti depressants and would NEVER do now.

Has anyone had this sort of wake up call?

 

[Soul]

Hm. I'm sorry you lost a friend but I'm not sure I understand what your motives are for joining the forum.

 

[Ross]

Hm. I'm sorry you lost a friend but I'm not sure I understand what your motives are for joining the forum.

Hm. I'm sorry you lost a friend but I'm not sure I understand what your motives are for joining the forum.

My motives for joining the forum is to read other people's stories.
When this happens it destroys all friends and family and everyone questions self.
I've been doubting myself as a friend. Why didn't she speak to me? Why no note? Could of I stopped her?

Only been looking on here a few hrs and although I'm against suicide now I've strangely got a lot of comfort reading other people's stories. I'm now sure she really wanted this and nothing any of us could of done.

 

[RM5998]

My motives for joining the forum is to read other people's stories.
When this happens it destroys all friends and family and everyone questions self.
I've been doubting myself as a friend. Why didn't she speak to me? Why no note? Could of I stopped her?

Only been looking on here a few hrs and although I'm against suicide now I've strangely got a lot of comfort reading other people's stories. I'm now sure she really wanted this and nothing any of us could of done.

If you're looking for a way to contextualize the life of the person you mentioned, I'm not sure this is the right place. People often try pretty hard to remain anonymous here (although that's a trend that's gone down recently), so any narrative you can find about anyone is only going to be about the member's interpretation of their circumstances.
I don't think there is anything useful to be found here to help in terms of processing grief in a normal way. Information, perhaps. A different perspective, maybe. But if you view death as remote and optional, you won't find a way to process your grief here.
EDIT: I'm sorry if that came off insensitive. The idea was to clearly state a perspective I believe is rational.

 

[Ross]

If you're looking for a way to contextualize the life of the person you mentioned, I'm not sure this is the right place. People often try pretty hard to remain anonymous here (although that's a trend that's gone down recently), so any narrative you can find about anyone is only going to be about the member's interpretation of their circumstances.
I don't think there is anything useful to be found here to help in terms of processing grief in a normal way. Information, perhaps. A different perspective, maybe. But if you view death as remote and optional, you won't find a way to process your grief here.
EDIT: I'm sorry if that came off insensitive. The idea was to clearly state a perspective I believe is rational.

Hi there. I'm not exactly sure myself what hoping to achieve from being here so I don't expect others too.
My friend wouldn't of been on this forum. She hardly done the internet (although I did scroll back to May 3rd in hope to find something)
I'm not here to troll or with any other hidden agenders I'm just trying to work out her state of mind.

See as no note. And fine when she come for dinner days before. Even texting normal that morning with. She has a disabled daughter who needs her and loving family so in my head (rather naively I'll admit) I was convinced this was a "mistake", maybe a moment of madness. Acted on anger and maybe regretting when chair kicked but too late.... I was very close to this myself so this is like the ONLY way I pictured and for first few days even weeks and was beating self up.
Now trying to come to her way of thinking.
That's why I've said strangely (although very hard for me to read some posts) I've got a bit of comfort from these posts.
She ordered her rope etc online so shows she was planning this like others on here and wasn't a spur of moment.
I'm now really convinced she wanted this and I couldn't of stopped . It gives me a lot of comfort knowing this wasn't just a "mistake"

 

[Deleted member 1496]

I'm against suicide now...I'm just trying to work out her state of mind...I'm now really convinced she wanted this

It'll be easier to work out her state of mind if you aren't against her suicide.

 

[Bagger]

Possibly aimed at the longer standing members.

Has anyone built up a friendship on here

No, but sometimes i wish so. But then i realize that with my not so long membership, shitty English skills and my withdrawn personality i cannot make or sustain any friendship here. It's sad but i have dealt with it already.

 

[Ross]

It'll be easier to work out her state of mind if you aren't against her suicide.

Not so much against it just upset and wish I knew she was going through all this

 

[done_so_done]

My motives for joining the forum is to read other people's stories.
When this happens it destroys all friends and family and everyone questions self.
I've been doubting myself as a friend. Why didn't she speak to me? Why no note? Could of I stopped her?

Only been looking on here a few hrs and although I'm against suicide now I've strangely got a lot of comfort reading other people's stories. I'm now sure she really wanted this and nothing any of us could of done.

Indeed. You should be asking all those questions. But the answer is usually pretty simple: I was too self-absorbed, i was selfish, and deep down, i really didn't care that much other than following my own self-interest.

If you're looking for a way to contextualize the life of the person you mentioned, I'm not sure this is the right place. People often try pretty hard to remain anonymous here (although that's a trend that's gone down recently), so any narrative you can find about anyone is only going to be about the member's interpretation of their circumstances.
I don't think there is anything useful to be found here to help in terms of processing grief in a normal way. Information, perhaps. A different perspective, maybe. But if you view death as remote and optional, you won't find a way to process your grief here.
EDIT: I'm sorry if that came off insensitive. The idea was to clearly state a perspective I believe is rational.

I think this is a pro-choice forum. For people who are suicidal. It is inappropriate for anybody who is pro-life these days to join this forum. So you can read our stories and understand our view on suicide...seriously?! I doubt that if you tried to join under these circumstances, the admins would let you.

 

[Ross]

Indeed. You should be asking all those questions. But the answer is usually pretty simple: I was too self-absorbed, i was selfish, and deep down, i really didn't care that much other than following my own self-interest.

I think this is a pro-choice forum. For people who are suicidal. It is inappropriate for anybody who is pro-life these days to join this forum. So you can read our stories and understand our view on suicide...seriously?! I doubt that if you tried to join under these circumstances, the admins would let you.

Pardon? You say it's a pro choice forum then go on to contradict yourself by saying I shouldn't be here as my choice is to live?

 

[done_so_done]

Pardon? You say it's a pro choice forum then go on to contradict yourself by saying I shouldn't be here as my choice is to live?

When you were signing up for this forum, did you tell the moderators that you are strictly pro-life?

 

[Ross]

When you were signing up for this forum, did you tell the moderators that you are strictly pro-life?

I answered the relevant question properly.
As far as I see in the rules this is NOT a pro suicide forum despite what u want... that such a forum would be illegal.

 

[done_so_done]

I answered the relevant question properly.
As far as I see in the rules this is NOT a pro suicide forum despite what u want... that such a forum would be illegal.

You need to come to your own conclusions why you didn't see your friend's suicide in making. I doubt that anything in this forum is going to help you as the answers are within yourself.

 

[Ross]

You need to come to your own conclusions why you didn't see your friend's suicide in making. I doubt that anything in this forum is going to help you as the answers are within yourself.

I've already said at least 3 times some posts have helped explain things a lot . Please understand and respect everyone is different and I wish u the best with whatever you choose to to do

 

[done_so_done]

I've already said at least 3 times some posts have helped explain things a lot . Please understand and respect everyone is different and I wish u the best with whatever you choose to to do

Thank you, I didn't ask for your wishes though.

 

[not_a_robot]

I respect what Ross is doing. This is a public forum, and at least he was honest about why he came and what his questions are.
Can't post your pain in a public place and expect people not to come poke at it.

 

[done_so_done]

I respect what Ross is doing. This is a public forum, and at least he was honest about why he came and what his questions are.
Can't post your pain in a public place and expect people not to come poke at it.

Yeah, poking is the correct word. Which is why I'm not posting anything private anymore.

 

[not_a_robot]

Yeah, poking is the correct word. Which is why I'm not posting anything private anymore.

I gave up trying to censor myself, fuck it, but I understand your feelings. It can seem very intimidating, offensive.

My life has simply prepared me well for being treated like an animal in a zoo, so I am accustomed to it.

 

[done_so_done]

I gave up trying to censor myself, fuck it, but I understand your feelings. It can seem very intimidating, offensive.

My life has simply prepared me well for being treated like an animal in a zoo, so I am accustomed to it.

Me too but that still doesn't mean that I like it.

 

[not_a_robot]

Learned Helplessness: the resignation that we are powerless to stop painful things from being done to us, and so being conditioned to appear passively accepting.
Proven by Nazi-style experiments on dogs. Spawned the "positive psychology" movement which conditions individuals who think critically toward Learned Helplessness ("chronic depression"/"negativity") and, covertly, I suspect, apoptosis/suicide.

Just a theory. I'm probably way way off.
Way off.
(shit can not be real, the shit can not be real, the shit can not be real).
(but it is, it is, it is, you do not make this shit up, you just wish you did)
(you made it up, you made it up, tell them you just make shit up)

I just make shit up. I'm fucking crazy. Like they say. Nutty as a fruitcake.
Blarg!

 

[RM5998]

@Ross I find the idea of trying to rationalize someone else's suicide to be presumptive. To me, the very need to try to find a justifiable reason presumes that there is the need for an objective standard, which I find insulting.
Again, I do not mean to sound insensitive. To me, this is the rational position to take.

 

[done_so_done]

Learned Helplessness: the resignation that we are powerless to stop painful things from being done to us, and so being conditioned to appear passively accepting.
Proven by Nazi-style experiments on dogs. Spawned the "positive psychology" movement which conditions individuals who think critically toward Learned Helplessness ("chronic depression"/"negativity") and, covertly, I suspect, apoptosis/suicide.

Just a theory. I'm probably way way off.
Way off.
(shit can not be real, the shit can not be real, the shit can not be real).
(but it is, it is, it is, you do not make this shit up, you just wish you did)
(you made it up, you made it up, tell them you just make shit up)

I just make shit up. I'm fucking crazy. Like they say. Nutty as a fruitcake.
Blarg!

No. You are not crazy. Your problem is you see things the way they really are. Welcome to hell on Earth.

 

[not_a_robot]

No. You are not crazy. Your problem is you see things the way they really are. Welcome to hell on Earth.

Shh! We have to let them think they've got us fooled, or they will just keep electrifying the fucking floor. Play dead. Just play dead.
One day we will escape.
Make the Blarg! face.
Like this:

 

[done_so_done]

In the Resources, I found beautiful article from one of ours, probably gone by now, fellow sufferers. Read up if you want to really understand.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/

Shh! We have to let them think they've got us fooled, or they will just keep electrifying the fucking floor. Play dead. Just play dead.
One day we will escape.
Make the Blarg! face.
Like this:

Lol! I'd love to know what it is like to be you...for one day only. I wish that was possible...

 

[not_a_robot]

In the Resources, I found beautiful article from one of ours, probably gone by now, fellow sufferers. Read up if you want to really understand.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/

Lol! I'd love to know what it is like to be you...for one day only. I wish that was possible...

Siiiigh... you too.
(people used to pay by the hour to try to find out what it was like to be me, a nobody, seems so funny now, doesn't it? Grotesque and comical.)