apearl
mitski fan
- Sep 25, 2023
- 198
(short friendship rant)
I have only one close friend and we've been long distance friends since childhood. (both our families ended up moving) And for most of it we were so close. But I feel like since college she's been really distant. So my first reaction was to try and be the best, most compassionate, thoughtful friend I could be. But that didn't work. I just felt exhausted from all the one sided effort I put into our friendship. She doesn't even ask me about how I'm doing or my interests or what I've been doing. After she said something pretty hurtful about me recently I decided that maybe giving her the same space she was giving me would fix the friendship. But she only distanced herself even more.
I feel like I can't win. She's all I have and I really think there's no saving this friendship because shes just moved on in life and doesn't need a place for me in hers any more. And I feel like it would be immoral to tell her how I've been feeling because this pain I feel is only my fault, the reason it hurts is because I have no one else and that's my problem not hers.
I miss human connection. I miss feeling wanted.
I have only one close friend and we've been long distance friends since childhood. (both our families ended up moving) And for most of it we were so close. But I feel like since college she's been really distant. So my first reaction was to try and be the best, most compassionate, thoughtful friend I could be. But that didn't work. I just felt exhausted from all the one sided effort I put into our friendship. She doesn't even ask me about how I'm doing or my interests or what I've been doing. After she said something pretty hurtful about me recently I decided that maybe giving her the same space she was giving me would fix the friendship. But she only distanced herself even more.
I feel like I can't win. She's all I have and I really think there's no saving this friendship because shes just moved on in life and doesn't need a place for me in hers any more. And I feel like it would be immoral to tell her how I've been feeling because this pain I feel is only my fault, the reason it hurts is because I have no one else and that's my problem not hers.
I miss human connection. I miss feeling wanted.
