Venting Friday Random Thoughts

[suicide4me]

My ctb date is supposed to be approaching and I want more than anything to stick to it, but lifes circumstances have thrown some curve balls where I probably will have to postpone. I keep having personal things piled on my plate, but at one point, I just have to be enough is enough. I swear, being a people pleaser is as bad as SI sometimes. I just want everyone to leave me alone, quit loving me, quit caring about me, quit demanding things of me so that I can just disappear into the sweet nothingness of death. I hope at some point I can block all of that out of my mind and just ctb like I want too. I wish it was easier to block it out and not care for me. The thing is, there will always be something, and I can't live like that forever when I've been dead inside most of my life. I just want peace y'all.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you well, nobody deserves to suffer so I hope you get what you want. It really is so hard to die unfortunately. This world is just so chaotic and tiring so I can relate to wanting the peace that death brings.

 

[suicide4me]

I wish you well, nobody deserves to suffer so I hope you get what you want. It really is so hard to die unfortunately. This world is just so chaotic and tiring so I can relate to wanting the peace that death brings.

Thank you, I really hope I do too. The world is chaotic and tiring and I've wanted peace for so long. I know if I postpone, I'm just delaying the inevitable, but I always think if I can just get through this stuff, then I can do it ... then other shit happens and I don't want to be in that cycle anymore. I have my whole life. At some point I gotta shut everything out and follow my heart to eternal nothingness. But fuck, it's easier said than done.

 

[WornOutLife]

I know, my friend, I know.

Eternal peace is our goal. Hope we can get there some day.

Now, I'm working so much that I basically have no time to be depressed haha but on Sunday's hangover I bet I will be destroyed.

Can't wait for tomorrow! Gonna start drinking at 6pm (-3GMT)!

Hope to see u here!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[suicide4me]

I know, my friend, I know.

Eternal peace is our goal. Hope we can get there some day.

Now, I'm working so much that I basically have no time to be depressed haha but on Sunday's hangover I bet I will be destroyed.

Can't wait for tomorrow! Gonna start drinking at 6pm (-3GMT)!

Hope to see u here!

Hugs and love,

Matt

I hope to be there my friend!! Yes it is, eternal peace is our goal for sure. Hope we can get there someday too. Hugs & love my friend.