Venting FP person and are your thoughts yours

[MapleSyrupVein]

I genuinely feel so lost on if anything is real about myself and emotions i feel like im never in control. every single time we interact it seems so forced and like i have to beg and hope i get time with them.

then it gets worse cause obviously im without my person im flickering like a broken tv and when they say anything i get so angry and upset and our friends act like im a total asshole for it but they are allowed to make comments about me "complaining" and "whining" i don't want to be attached to them anyone i know when shits not healthy and he's not good for me i'm not good for him but the idea of losing him ? death.

i genuinely feel the only thing i can do to fix my life is die so i can feel some control and like my emotions aren't purely based on them but isn't that just doing that too?

how do i know what's right to feel and what's wrong. why is it so hard to be normal

 

[DoubleUp8]

There really is no such thing as normal. All humans are flawed in 1 way or another. Some in many ways. Trying to be normal is pointless.