found a post on reddit that I love

[Not_A_Seagull]

Response to "PSA: a girlfriend will not fix you or your life"

Because it's just been locked.
People who believe that need this advice of course, it won't and people are more than their ability to make you feel better. But to say through implication a relationship won't radically improve your life if that's what's missing is daft. Whether it's the only thing that's missing, in which case it's the most natural thing in the world to want that, or everything generally sucks but would be made better with a supportive partner, it's perfectly valid to want it and even despair at not having it. We never hear, friends won't fix your life, a good career won't fix your life, eating well won't fix your life. Because it's absolutely insane. Anything good will enhance your quality of living. You just have to hold out for good things and not settle in their absence or difficulty in obtainability.
As a perpetually unhappy single woman, you want to know what probably sucks more than the status itself? People telling me I should be happy being independent. Ignoring how I feel on the matter. As if I'd need to sacrifice independence in a relationship. The condescension is insulting. Hating being unlucky in love is normal. Not everybody finds meaning in being single, or great mental health even if it's always important to make the attempt. Stop trying to convince us this is an epidemic that needs to be quelled with cliche affirmations like "You can't love others until you love yourself" or "Nobody can fix you."
I'm begging you.



note: I like this post because it doesn't go with the "omg love yourself bro!!!!!" stereotype and says that, not everyone is fine being alone and being introverted. Not to mention its hard to love yourself when no one has ever believed or loved you your whole life.

 

[FuneralCry]

But what does this have to do with suicide, this is the suicide discussion section of the forum. I was expecting to read something actually related to suicide, shouldn't this be in the offtopic section.

 

[resolutory]

But what does this have to do with suicide, this is the suicide discussion section of the forum. I was expecting to read something actually related to suicide, shouldn't this be in the offtopic section.

I'd say it relates, this reddit post is basically the same reasons why I want to commit suicide lol. It didn't feel out of place to me, but I guess it depends on whether this section is specifically restricted completely for the act of suicide and not suicidal feelings.

 

[Not_A_Seagull]

But what does this have to do with suicide, this is the suicide discussion section of the forum. I was expecting to read something actually related to suicide, shouldn't this be in the offtopic section.

Because some people feel suicidal by beint lonley?

 

[Pluto]

Depending on the individual and their situation, being single can cause harm for a number of reasons.

Trying to run a household on a single income - or being stuck in some awful arrangement - is a recipe for substandard living. Bad mental health is also hard to avoid with nobody to thwart the vicious circles of dark internal monologues or to be a reason to push on. It also becomes harder to connect socially with other people or feel like a respected member of society when lacking the validation of being connected to others. And heaven forbid there might be any semblance of joy or romance in one's routine.

There are also many things that can go wrong. Many of us naturally attract narcissistic people who will charm and then exploit us, leaving us worse off than before. If we severely lack independence, there's also a danger of feeling like a burden on the partner in various ways. Because our nervous systems were wired in childhood, habit-patterns will tend to arise that resemble the distant past, including unearthing past trauma. Ideally there would be some mentoring to allow this to be a process of ongoing growth/healing and prevent the situation from descending into chaos, not to mention the hardship of a bad breakup.

The common theme is that effort is needed, and good decision-making, to avoid going downhill.

 

[SamTam33]

I'd typically be inclined to agree, but I'm always astounded at the number of people on here who have loving partners and spouses and still want to die.

I get distracted with WHY they're in a relationship to begin with, but that might be besides the point.

I guess it depends on whether your issues are dictated purely by circumstances OR by internal and mental deficiencies.

E.g., if a change of circumstance can improve your mental health, then finding a partner might help.

 

[Kurushii]

I completely agree with you. Someone can try being happy without a partner because being happy is preferable to feeling awful all the time but like... easier said than done. When I was single I mostly felt negative feelings and neutral feelings. Not too much joy really. It wasn't toooo bad because I did have friends to talk to. But something was definitely missing. And I agree that no one can be faulted for despairing at not having a partner and wishing to have one. Now that I do have a bf I have more feelings of joy that I couldn't really have experienced without one. Sadly it's not enough to fix my circumstances that brought me here but it definitely helps with making me feel just a little bit better.

 

[Already Gone now]

Response to "PSA: a girlfriend will not fix you or your life"

Because it's just been locked.
People who believe that need this advice of course, it won't and people are more than their ability to make you feel better. But to say through implication a relationship won't radically improve your life if that's what's missing is daft. Whether it's the only thing that's missing, in which case it's the most natural thing in the world to want that, or everything generally sucks but would be made better with a supportive partner, it's perfectly valid to want it and even despair at not having it. We never hear, friends won't fix your life, a good career won't fix your life, eating well won't fix your life. Because it's absolutely insane. Anything good will enhance your quality of living. You just have to hold out for good things and not settle in their absence or difficulty in obtainability.
As a perpetually unhappy single woman, you want to know what probably sucks more than the status itself? People telling me I should be happy being independent. Ignoring how I feel on the matter. As if I'd need to sacrifice independence in a relationship. The condescension is insulting. Hating being unlucky in love is normal. Not everybody finds meaning in being single, or great mental health even if it's always important to make the attempt. Stop trying to convince us this is an epidemic that needs to be quelled with cliche affirmations like "You can't love others until you love yourself" or "Nobody can fix you."
I'm begging you.



note: I like this post because it doesn't go with the "omg love yourself bro!!!!!" stereotype and says that, not everyone is fine being alone and being introverted. Not to mention its hard to love yourself when no one has ever believed or loved you your whole life.

I've found the cut and sun dried response to the short two sentence "I truly hope you find the peace you deserve"comment people leave.... I love sentiment, if it's serious. But fuck, say something different to the end of the next message..

 

[jdog2498]

life is very cruel definitely just want a gun instead