forum going offline made me want to ctb immediately

[schatzbunny]

i was so used to waking up and scrolling on this forum for hours and not doing anything else that when i couldnt do that today i lost it and panicked. i was thinking holy shit i need to ctb right fucking now. i didnt even realise being on this forum all day was keeping me going xd
i even ended up crying that it was not loading and that i lost my safe space.
welp i talked to ai and scrolled twitter, also wrote a little of my suicide note and then asked chatgpt and deepseek if its too hateful lmao

 

[eternalpace]

It's good that you found some alternatives. Unfortunately, technology goes down from time to time. When my usual sites are down, I tend to do other morbid stuff to fill the time... I Google news stories of recent suicides, read stories on a site dedicated to suicides on a specific bridge, and stuff like that.

 

[monetpompo]

i went on r/suicidewatch and told someone at 2 am that they wouldn't die from overdosing on tylenol if they already tried to overdose on it multiple times, and that overdosing on sleeping pills wouldn't kill them either because it would just make them fall asleep. then i went on r/lonely and a young kid said their age and town name because they wanted to find a girlfriend. both of them took their posts down because i lectured them. sasu is the only place where you don't have to deal with teenagers. i have such a dependency on it because i would read it before bed if i had insomnia lol

 

[littlecutecorpse]

i went on r/suicidewatch and told someone at 2 am that they wouldn't die from overdosing on tylenol if they already tried to overdose on it multiple times, and that overdosing on sleeping pills wouldn't kill them either because it would just make them fall asleep. then i went on r/lonely and a young kid said their age and town name because they wanted to find a girlfriend. both of them took their posts down because i lectured them. sasu is the only place where you don't have to deal with teenagers. i have such a dependency on it because i would read it before bed if i had insomnia lol

surprised neither mods (or anyone as matter of fact) from both subreddits were on your ass for that. i made like one post on r/suicidewatch venting my frustration that i probably won't be able to die and that got taken down immediately. then i lectured some kid about the risks that they were taking with their method, and as a result i got angry dms from pro-lifers warning me about 'encouraging' this young girl.

interesting how you can't express yourself freely on even a suicide subreddit....but hey, it's reddit. what was i expecting? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[schatzbunny]

It's good that you found some alternatives. Unfortunately, technology goes down from time to time. When my usual sites are down, I tend to do other morbid stuff to fill the time... I Google news stories of recent suicides, read stories on a site dedicated to suicides on a specific bridge, and stuff like that.

omg i did smthn similar! the building i want to jump from had a suicide jump case few months ago and i kept reading its article to comfort myself in some fucked way lol

i went on r/suicidewatch and told someone at 2 am that they wouldn't die from overdosing on tylenol if they already tried to overdose on it multiple times, and that overdosing on sleeping pills wouldn't kill them either because it would just make them fall asleep. then i went on r/lonely and a young kid said their age and town name because they wanted to find a girlfriend. both of them took their posts down because i lectured them. sasu is the only place where you don't have to deal with teenagers. i have such a dependency on it because i would read it before bed if i had insomnia lol

doing gods work ngl. i remember my first and only attempt being od (clonazepam and an antipsychotic i think) and i just asked ai if the dose i took was gonna kill me, when it said no i felt so pissed and blacked out soon enough xd
also went on reddit to read suicide notes and people calling the person who died selfish was just very triggering

surprised neither mods (or anyone as matter of fact) from both subreddits were on your ass for that. i made like one post on r/suicidewatch venting my frustration that i probably won't be able to die and that got taken down immediately. then i lectured some kid about the risks that they were taking with their method, and as a result i got angry dms from pro-lifers warning me about 'encouraging' this young girl.

interesting how you can't express yourself freely on even a suicide subreddit....but hey, it's reddit. what was i expecting? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how is it encouraging if you're potentially stopping someone from doing something dangerous without the result they are hoping for, i cant with prolifers...

 

[TAW122]

I can relate to the feeling too due to finding SaSu to be a safe place for me to vent, share ideas, and also (most importantly) find real information about efficacy of methods. Furthermore, having the community being open about various topics especially CTB, death, and what not without judgment or platitudes makes me feel calmer than dealing with the strain of day to day life and other horrible challenges that is in life itself.

 

[monetpompo]

@littlecutecorpse waoow... i just saw you're also from texas (this place sucks)...

then i lectured some kid about the risks that they were taking with their method, and as a result i got angry dms from pro-lifers warning me about 'encouraging' this young girl.

i think because i made the tylenol kid feel bad enough to delete their post pretty much no one saw it besides me and another person commenting. sasu is just a different beast compared to r/suicidewatch watch. so many kids looking for attention or saying they'll take otc pills. it makes me feel old as a 20 year old.

pretty much any mental health subreddit makes me annoyed now because of the teenagers. i also like the longer format of sasu posts because you can make a bite sized post on reddit and get 100 replies. i also think the groomers on depression subreddits are disgusting. the moderation is really great here.

how is it encouraging if you're potentially stopping someone from doing something dangerous without the result they are hoping for, i cant with prolifers...

prolifers just want you to say the same canned responses. i hate that i can't talk about how frustrated failed ods or hanging attempts make me because it'll make people uncomfortable. i do get that it's still "suicide discussion" even if it's neutral or ideation, but you can't just block out someone's desire to commit suicide and expect that to work. prolifers can't imagine any complexity to talking about suicide. i'd rather talk about harm reduction then get told "i'm not alone" or "i am loved".

 

[littlecutecorpse]

@littlecutecorpse waoow... i just saw you're also from texas (this place sucks)...


i think because i made the tylenol kid feel bad enough to delete their post pretty much no one saw it besides me and another person commenting. sasu is just a different beast compared to r/suicidewatch watch. so many kids looking for attention or saying they'll take otc pills. it makes me feel old as a 20 year old.

pretty much any mental health subreddit makes me annoyed now because of the teenagers. i also like the longer format of sasu posts because you can make a bite sized post on reddit and get 100 replies. i also think the groomers on depression subreddits are disgusting. the moderation is really great here.

tbh that's fair, i get two completely diff vibes here and r/suicidewatch. lots of kids saying they'll OD, and i really can't be bothered to tell them all that it won't work. hell, i'm only 18, soon to be 19. i feel like a guppy here yet an elder over there.

(also yeah, the moderation over there isn't the greatest. unsurprisingly had three other dm requests from older men, yikes.)

 

[Arvayn]

I didn't even realize the website went down until way later in my day. During the downtime, I went to help out with pauper burials at my local church. In exchange, the nuns gave me some honey and baked goods; worth it.
By the time I got home, my whole body was reeling and fatigued from physical labor, so I just crashed into my bed without changing clothes. "I wonder what's been posted on SaSu- Cloudflare Error oh."
And then I passed out, and it's back.

 

[U. A.]

sasu is the only place where you don't have to deal with teenagers.

When you're old, everyone is a teenager anyway.

 

[Tombadil]

I panicked a bit as i feared this site was taken down for good. I have no trust in the majority of people anymore, and the only constant i see is that they will destroy the best they have, always. I have just found this site and already grown accustomed to the feeling of not being alone on my way. I was surprised to see how many people want this site down as im pretty sure it actively might save lifes, as a logical conclusion just when it helps soften the impact of the depression that goes along with being driven to cbt by the world.

 

[monetpompo]

When you're old, everyone is a teenager anyway.

a long time ago... i used to be 18... (literally 2 years). i think if i turn 21 i'll get super powers because i never expected to get that old in my life. it's a weird place to be in. most of the people on here are older than me but i feel sorry for the 18-19 year olds who already think their lives are going down the drain. i thought the same thing before getting depressed enough to join sasu. i felt some existential horror at becoming 20 this year, but everyone thinks i'm still in high school. it's not very different.

 

[U. A.]

a long time ago... i used to be 18... (literally 2 years). i think if i turn 21 i'll get super powers because i never expected to get that old in my life. it's a weird place to be in. most of the people on here are older than me but i feel sorry for the 18-19 year olds who already think their lives are going down the drain. i thought the same thing before getting depressed enough to join sasu. i felt some existential horror at becoming 20 this year, but everyone still thinks i'm in high school.

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To return to the point, OP - don't worry that dependency will fade a bit with time. You've only just arrived days ago, still honeymoon.

 

[littlecutecorpse]

most of the people on here are older than me but i feel sorry for the 18-19 year olds who already think their lives are going down the drain.

but well, there's almost always a reason younglings like me think this way, no? i know it depends on each person. some reasons might make "more sense" than others (for lack of better words), but they might as well be as equally validating as some of the older folks here.