Allaboutit

Allaboutit

Member
Aug 3, 2023
22
My lil brother recently ctb via SN. I know of his work stress and relationship issues along with our shared mental health and traumatic history. But as someone who has struggled with suicidal ideation I know that little things seem to come up recurrently. What is your smallest reason or what seems like the pettiest reason why?
 
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NeedSomething

Member
Aug 2, 2023
10
pettiest reason? Probably that being alive is exhausting. Breathing, thinking, eating, going to the bathroom. Its a lot. All the things I have to do to simply exist is too much.
 
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Daft-Bear

Daft-Bear

Unbearable
Jun 27, 2023
73
The pettiest reason is boredom. Nothing is happening, and things aren't going anywhere. It sounds stupid but, you can only have so many dull days in a row before you're over it.
 
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soonatpeace777888

soonatpeace777888

Specialist
Jul 4, 2023
349
The pettiest reason is boredom. Nothing is happening, and things are going anywhere. It sounds stupid but, you can only have so many dull days in a row before you're over it.
Something like this. Life has lost its charm and glow it had when I was young and now everything is dull and monotonous. Then I have to work when I really don't even enjoy life in the first place. Why?
 
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WhyWasIBorn

WhyWasIBorn

I didn't ask to be here... so why can't I leave?
Jan 18, 2019
54
Sorry about losing your bro, but know they are at peace now from this shit life.

My pettiest reason to leave would probably be food... Mostly everything that tastes better and is more affordable, easier to prepare or can conveniently be picked up quickly to eat is more damaging to the body and mind than a clean diet. Not to mention the guilt from eating animals. Though I've been vegan on and off but its so hard to stick to and I currently just can't because I barely eat one full meal each day and it needs to be palatable. I think about these things pretty much every time I see food and it's debilitating but a sad reality that we live in and have created for ourselves. I used to view food as comfort before when I had no care of being overweight but now I'm dealing with all the health issues.
 
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lachrymost

lachrymost

finger on the eject button
Oct 4, 2022
347
Having to brush and floss every day forever so the stupid organbones in my mouth don't commit suicide themselves.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,939
I don't think that feeling bored or tired of existing is something that is petty, I see it as being a perfectly valid and understandable way to feel, existence is so burdensome after all. I see having the ability to exist as being enough of a reason to make me wish to ctb, not wanting to suffer could never be petty, I don't get why anyone would desire this existence in the first place. But I always dread what lies ahead and I always feel tired of existing here which is what makes me wish for ctb right now.
 
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MaskedSparrow

MaskedSparrow

Member
Aug 4, 2023
8
Maybe because my brother teases me sometimes and I'm super sensitive haha
 
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wristcutangel

wristcutangel

What value is there to a life that wants to end?
Jul 5, 2023
167
there's a lot of tiny things that build up. when something breaks down and there's no money to replace it, when the food isn't to my liking, when i don't get quick replies. i get annoyed easily, i guess.
 
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Allaboutit

Allaboutit

Member
Aug 3, 2023
22
Maybe because my brother teases me sometimes and I'm super sensitive haha
Know there's nothing wrong to being sensitive. People who love you should respect your feeling regardless. My therapist explained it this way… would you apologize for being allergic to peanuts. Say you're just too sensitive to peanut allergens. We all have things that can kill us and it doesn't matter if it's self inflicted. People who love us should not eat peanuts around us and should not pick on us if it makes us feel self destructive.
there's a lot of tiny things that build up. when something breaks down and there's no money to replace it, when the food isn't to my liking, when i don't get quick replies. i get annoyed easily, i guess.
I get that. Everything seems heavy all the time. Brushing my teeth is the most difficult.
there's a lot of tiny things that build up. when something breaks down and there's no money to replace it, when the food isn't to my liking, when i don't get quick replies. i get annoyed easily, i guess.
I get that. Everything seems heavy all the time. Brushing my teeth is the most difficult.
there's a lot of tiny things that build up. when something breaks down and there's no money to replace it, when the food isn't to my liking, when i don't get quick replies. i get annoyed easily, i guess.
ugh.. the amount of appliances I've replaced in the last few years. How do others afford to survive. I know this is a huge contributor to my brothers depression. He worked so hard and paying rent was hard enough. How do you build a life when you only make enough to pay to survive.
I don't think that feeling bored or tired of existing is something that is petty, I see it as being a perfectly valid and understandable way to feel, existence is so burdensome after all. I see having the ability to exist as being enough of a reason to make me wish to ctb, not wanting to suffer could never be petty, I don't get why anyone would desire this existence in the first place. But I always dread what lies ahead and I always feel tired of existing here which is what makes me wish for ctb right now.
I apologize for saying petty. I don't think even the smallest reason why is petty. As someone who has attempted themselves I know how heavy it feels. Maybe I was seeking levity in my post or maybe connectiveness. For me the barista not getting the order right was enough to flip the scale.
Having to brush and floss every day forever so the stupid organbones in my mouth don't commit suicide themselves.
Honestly dental health is my struggle. I have full dental insurance and I'm still struggling with multiple cavities. It's baffling that people don't struggle with this too.
Sorry about losing your bro, but know they are at peace now from this shit life.

My pettiest reason to leave would probably be food... Mostly everything that tastes better and is more affordable, easier to prepare or can conveniently be picked up quickly to eat is more damaging to the body and mind than a clean diet. Not to mention the guilt from eating animals. Though I've been vegan on and off but its so hard to stick to and I currently just can't because I barely eat one full meal each day and it needs to be palatable. I think about these things pretty much every time I see food and it's debilitating but a sad reality that we live in and have created for ourselves. I used to view food as comfort before when I had no care of being overweight but now I'm dealing with all the health issues.
I get this. I was a chef once upon a time and I used to love making extravagant food. But it's dull now. ProbBly cuz it's something me and my brother shared. I hope that joy will return.
 
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pyroxenic

pyroxenic

Wanting to Sleep for Eternity
Feb 3, 2023
83
Im really sorry for your loss of your brother, i hope youre doing okay.

My pettiest reason to want to KMS is whenever i have to speak to my family. They try to be supportive but my god they somehow manage to make me even more suicidal each time they speak to me.
 

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