I know that I have option to end it, but almost everybody is forced to live through social construct, its taboo to speak about it and people just have to have that "opinion" that its bad (to keep their fake mask in society) Because we do not speak openly about this and we are pretending that we live in fairy tale people like us are somehow forced to be here withstand every fucking thing life throw at us. If I did not have family I would not feel bad about ending myself, I am just sad because they lose me, we somehow also live for others. If my family knew that I am going to ctb then they would be sad and probably tried to stop me. Too bad we as a society or humans do not understand death or are not so often in contant with it so we automaticaly think bad about it, if we were open and understand that there are situations where life is just pain and suffering there would be a less sadnes after someone ctb because family would know it and allowed it, also they would try to help firstly but yeah reality sometimes is shit so I would be glad and happy if my family knew it, understand it why I am going to do it and we could actually talk before it and say good bye.