Forced to change the date of my plan

[everlastinghistory]

Over the weekend I was considering committing today. This was due to a lot of circumstances aligning that would allow me to easily make it to the location I wanted without anyone being suspicious.

Yesterday a friend messaged me thinking I was dead because I hadn't responded to her, and today my dad somehow convinced my entire family I was going to commit today.

There is no possible way they could've known about my plan. All evidence of it exists on my phone, and that's it. I haven't written anything on paper, or mentioned anything to anyone.

I have no clue how they knew, but it threw everything off and now I'm worried the new date I set may get forcibly changed as well.

If I could afford it I'd just move out so they'd leave me alone. Unfortunately however, I lack the motivation to hold down a job for a long period of time and moving out is nearly impossible to afford where I live anyway.

I just wish things would stop getting in the way of every plan I make.

 

[noonipie]

can i know what your method is?
also, is there a past as to how they wouldve guessed it? (this is the first post of yours that im seeing)

 

[everlastinghistory]

can i know what your method is?
also, is there a past as to how they wouldve guessed it? (this is the first post of yours that im seeing)

Was gonna either jump in front of a train or lay on tracks. Hadn't really decided which. Figured I'd decide when I got there. Obviously I know that can cause trauma to the people on the train but idk desperate times call for desperate measures.

As for how they guessed: My dad was driving me somewhere and I randomly started crying over the thing that pushed me over the edge for what I thought would've been the last time. He reacted sort of badly and felt bad for it and when we got home he told my mom he was worried that if they left me home alone I may kms because of it. I don't know why he thought that alone would push me to that point especially since I haven't done anything concerning that they know of since I was in my first year of high school. It's been a long while. There was no reason to be THAT concerned today. Just an odd day I guess.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that after all, it's difficult to set plans for a specific date to ctb on as life is unpredictable and uncertain but it does sound frustrating being in that situation, it certainly is so hard to die in this anti suicide society. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[PurpleParadigm]

Please don't use the train method. It is a gruesome way to CTB which goes against any notion of a peaceful, dignified death. You are also going to severely traumatize everyone involved in the aftermath (cleanup crew, driver, family etc.). Furthermore, there is a high likelihood of being caught or being left severely injured but alive, further reducing your quality of life and ability to end it.

 

[Octavia]

Please don't use the train method. It is a gruesome way to CTB which goes against any notion of a peaceful, dignified death. You are also going to severely traumatize everyone involved in the aftermath (cleanup crew, driver, family etc.). Furthermore, there is a high likelihood of being caught or being left severely injured but alive, further reducing your quality of life and ability to end it.

Trying to go for beheading by train might be relatively reliable (and less gruesome than a mangled corpse), although that survival instinct might go off the charts as the train approaches.

 

[PurpleParadigm]

Trying to go for beheading by train might be relatively reliable (and less gruesome than a mangled corpse), although that survival instinct might go off the charts as the train approaches.

That's provided the lines aren't electrified and the vibration and the noise don't result in the person disloding themselves out of the way. In addition to that the train is pretty long, there is a chance that along the way the body would get pulled in after getting caught on one of the train carts. Simply put it seems to me there would be very many variables involved preventing the death from being clean. Of course, getting caught is always a possibility too.