This is actually a position that I am in myself. I am presently in a committed long-term relationship with my girlfriend, whom I've known for the last ten years and been living with for the last seven. Both she and I are severely and chronically depressed, and while I've never been suicidal, she had attempted before. I don't think she knew I was depressed when she first asked me out, but we talked about it fairly early on.
Being honest? I think having someone close to you who 'gets it' really helps. We lean on each other pretty heavily. She tells me that I'm one of the only things that keeps her afloat, and for my part, she's the only one who really understands my deeper self, and that I'm not really the happy-go-lucky clown that I present myself as most of the time. There's this thing that happens when you both understand the other person is deeply suffering, where suddenly the only thing that really matters to you is being there for them, sincerely and authentically, and trying to make things better. And, oddly enough, helping them to feel better, or if nothing else just sharing in their pain, helps you to feel better too.
Of course, this is the only serious relationship I've ever been in, so I don't know how it works if your partner isn't also depressed/suicidal. I imagine that can get pretty complicated. I know that 'normies', for lack of a better term, can be capable of having a deep and fulfilling relationship with a severely depressed person, but it depends on the individual in question. Some people have the patience, empathy, and supportive nature to handle exposure to a depressed person's emotional trauma, and even try to make things better. Others do not. You'd have to take a serious look at your potential partner and try to determine their capacity to handle that, and how you think they'd respond to it. Exposing that side of yourself to someone who isn't cut out to handle it may not end well.
On the other side of things, there is an argument to be made for trust, especially if the other person seems willing to help carry your burdens. A lot of people never really open up to anyone or express their suffering because they do not want to be a burden. But this doesn't really work; that willingness and capacity to not only help your partner shoulder their burdens, but also allow them to see and carry your own, is an integral part of any serious deep relationship. So if you want to have a serious connection to this person long-term, it's something that does need to come out and be addressed in some form.
How do you think this partner of yours would likely respond if you were to be open about some of the depressive symptoms you experience on a regular basis? For that matter, how would you respond if you found out they were the same way?
