Discussion For those of you on Sanctioned Suicide who have experienced homelessness; would you ctb rather than be homeless again?

[toforigivelife]

Due to my circumstances, a sense of stability and security is not something I wake up with every morning and there's a good thread about what motivates homeless people to go on living.

I, and hopefully others, would find first-hand accounts and people's views on whether or not homelessness is worth it to be helpful.

 

[Toonloon]

I'd do it. I was homeless on and off most of my life going back to childhood. I'll kill myself before I do it again.

 

[toforigivelife]

I'd do it. I was homeless on and off most of my life going back to childhood. I'll kill myself before I do it again.

That had to be a living nightmare.

I'm so sorry.

When you're to the point of having serious suicidal thoughts having the fear of homelessness hanging over is like having someone beckoning you to end it all.

I know you're dealing with serious pain right now but I hope you at least have some sense of security as far as having a home.

The scars of your childhood, the lack of stability; are things a few of the issues that have brought you to this forum?

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I don't know how the homeless do it. I always told myself I would ctb before that happens. But I am not so sure anymore seeing how everyone thinks that until they become homeless.

You lost at that point. Nothing will make you ctb. You are stuck here in hell.

 

[toforigivelife]

I don't know how the homeless do it. I always told myself I would ctb before that happens. But I am not so sure anymore seeing how everyone thinks that until they become homeless.

You lost at that point. Nothing will make you ctb. You are stuck here in hell.

Everyone has their own reactions, their own motivations and I respect that.

But I would end my life before being rendered homeless. I know I couldn't recover from that. I'm not healthy and I'm not a kid. I can't create false hope for myself anymore. I just can't.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

But I would end my life before being rendered homeless. I know I couldn't recover from that.

It would be the nail in my coffin as well. The streets would take me. I always so sure I would ctb before I even got to this point in life. But here I am.

It could be a very real possibility that even homelessness wouldn't drive you to ctb. I am sure there are scores of people out in the streets right now who thought the same.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Yeah. Being homeless in my current location has a whole host of benefits and problems. But, won't matter regardless. Kicking off the New Year with a nice SN cocktail.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Yeah. Being homeless in my current location has a whole host of benefits and problems. But, won't matter regardless. Kicking off the New Year with a nice SN cocktail.

I wonder how many people ctb on new years. In a weird way it would be like a giant suicide pact but no one knows each other.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I wonder how many people ctb on new years. In a weird way it would be like a giant suicide pact but no one knows each other.

Like a subconsciously communicated middle finger to the unfairness of life at a symbolic time of change and renewal. Beautifully ironic

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Like a subconsciously communicated middle finger to the unfairness of life at a symbolic time of change and renewal. Beautifully ironic

Yeah I guess I never thought about picking a certain day. Just any time I could find the courage. My last attempt was the closest I've been to death. So I know it can be done. But for some reason that makes it even harder to make future attempts.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Yeah I guess I never thought about picking a certain day. Just any time I could find the courage. My last attempt was the closest I've been to death. So I know it can be done. But for some reason that makes it even harder to make future attempts.

If it makes sense to you, then yes, it makes sense. CTB is such an intimately personal decision that outside factors should be minimized on consideration of all else.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

If it makes sense to you, then yes, it makes sense. CTB is such an intimately personal decision that outside factors should be minimized on consideration of all else.

What a beautiful point. This is what those suicide hotlines should be saying. Not sending the police to your door so they can humiliate you even further. Suicide hotlines do more damage than good.

 

[kittymagic]

Very likely. I was homeless due to a very long addiction and am clean now. I don't think I could survive getting to that place again.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

I was homeless in late 2018. It sucked, having to be around other people I hated and not allowed to eat inside the facility, but I was in a shelter so it wasn't like I was exposed to the elements. I wouldn't ctb instead of being homeless unless I couldn't get into a shelter again.

 

[Aeathelina]

I've been homeless off and on since I was a child and every time it happens all I can think about is wanting to CTB but I could never bring myself to end it . Next time though i'm going out in the forest and offing myself

 

[ts0hill]

Personally yes. It is horrific to be suffering extreme mental problems as well as not getting good sleep, food, etc

 

[GermanHanger]

Yes, I will definitely ctb before

 

[John-LW]

I'm currently homeless, living in my truck, I intend to die in the next few days. I can't rest or sleep and my body is in constant pain.

 

[AnonymousS]

Due to my circumstances, a sense of stability and security is not something I wake up with every morning and there's a good thread about what motivates homeless people to go on living.

I, and hopefully others, would find first-hand accounts and people's views on whether or not homelessness is worth it to be helpful.

Me personally yes, i have experienced homelessness in both temporary accommodation-some ok, some dreadful. I also have been on the street literally, sleeping in a sleeping blanket in a shop doorway. It's an appaling situation, and is degrading and dehumanising. It can also be very dangerous, though obviously not always. If i thought for a second i was going to be put out on the streets again, i would not hesistate to disappear permanently. It can be survivable, and many people have bettered their situation, however i am too unwell now to be able to handle it.

I'm currently homeless, living in my truck, I intend to die in the next few days. I can't rest or sleep and my body is in constant pain.

I am very sorry to hear you're going through this.

 

[ever so lonely]

i was homeless via bereavement, i remember being in london around 2009, and nobody gave a fuck, so i was grieving and homeless at that time, people just judge you and shit on you, and assume you put yourself there, people are harsh with you when your in that position which is almost as bad as the situation itself it only lasted a couple of months till i dragged myself out of the situation but i said to myself never again, it isnt no life, to have no abode of your own or to mention no access to wash facilities, this society sucks donkey dicks, homelessness should not exist, hope your ok friend

 

[akirat9]

yes it be the impluse need to drink sn with no hesitate

 

[Mtnwildflowers]

I haven't been homeless but lost my job due to mental illness earlier this year and will have no more money to pay for my house very soon. No opportunity for help from social services at this point. It helped me finalize my ctb date. There's no way I'm dealing with my severe mental health problems and being homeless.