Discussion For people who write suicide notes, why or who are you doing it for

[CandyAppleCookie]

I've never written a note before an attempt, but I always think about it. Sometimes I feel like it means I'm not really suicidal since so many other people write notes, but yknow I still try to kill myself so I probably am suicidal. Its something I think about a lot and I've been thinking about writing a note recently so I'm kinda interested in why people write their notes. Thnx for any responses :)

 

[pappapgold]

I wrote my notes so my final thoughts were hopefully heard. It was for me to write those letters not for them

 

[Moniker]

I felt like I needed to clear up why I was doing this. No one knows that I feel the way I do. So, all I wrote in mine was that I had planned this for a long time, I told no one I was planning this, etc.

These days, I don't really see a reason to do it. I don't think I owe anyone explanations or clarity. That being said, not writing one doesn't make you more or less suicidal than someone else, so don't worry about it.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I would leave letters for my parents and my partner, and I would make a few videos for my daughter in the hopes they show her them as she grows up.

 

[Tao]

I have written a note before but I'm not sure if I would again. I only did it before as an attempt soothe anyone's guilt and to take full responsibility for my actions. But I can't control how others feel and there will likely be guilt, anger, and misunderstandings either way.

Everyone close to me knows I'm struggling, have been suicidal all my life and the trauma I endured. If anything it should be a surprise if I don't take my life eventually. And if I do, it would probably seem inevitable, sadly.

 

[frommolecules2stars]

I rather not be a story used by suicide prevention rhetoric. And I already know in my note I am going to write some egregious things. Hopefully bad enough that people stray away from my story and keep it on the down low.

I don't want people to twist my actions and make it out to be a tragedy. Especially since I am trans. I'm gonna ask my mother specifically in the note not to post me everywhere and claim what's happening in the government pushed me to do this.

I am not a child, I have agency over what I do and I own up to being responsible for my death.

 

[InTheStars]

I would leave letters for my parents and my partner, and I would make a few videos for my daughter in the hopes they show her them as she grows up.

If you could only stay for her, to see her grow! Can you imagine not seeing her ever again?

 

[LigottiIsRight]

I'm writing one to my parents, I think they deserve an explanation (I have a good relationship with them, although I don't share much information about my situation). My friends already know about the possibility of me ctb-ing and the reasons behind it, so there's no need of a note for them.

 

[ma0]

To say sorry to everyone, and just for some closure. I don't want anyone to feel sad over my death, so I'm hoping that writing this note will console some dread.

I also want to write exclusive notes for those who have pushed me to this point, to hopefully rub salt in their wound.

 

[spenshart]

i wrote my suicide letter this morning. Plan to ctb in 2 hours from now. 12 pages i wrote. I wrote an individual letter each to my mother, father, and partner, which totalled to around 4 pages. Then in my general note i mentioned why im going to do this, sorrys, not for anybody to take blame and that they did everything perfect. its very important not to pass blame over in a suicide letter. i also included what i want them to do with my body, who can have what of my posessions, and finally, ended it with a joke, quite psychotic i know. i said if you have anymore questions, you will most likely find me on mars, or feel free to contact me via ouija board!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I would leave notes to clarify it was suicide firstly. I also want people to realise it wasn't an impulsive decision. That I had ideation from childhood but, I held on for the sake of loved ones. I also hope to allay any guilt people might feel. I want to make it clear they couldn't have done anything to help me. Plus, that I didn't tell them because I wouldn't have wanted them to try and stop me. I also want to thank the people that made a positive difference to my life.

I suppose I would be writing them more for their sake. Partly my own though in that- I don't want people thinking this was some rash decision. Or, that I didn't love and appreciate them. More that I was unhappy for so long, that life really wasn't for me and that there's only so long you can live like that.

 

[deadbidaylight]

If you could only stay for her, to see her grow! Can you imagine not seeing her ever again?

No I can't. And that is why I choose to live. I live for her everyday. I still have my bad days for sure but I have a good support system who know about my suicidal ideation when I'm in my dark points, and I actively monitor those to make sure I don't act on impulse. I'm also monitored by my doctor and I'm on some good medication that works for me. I created my little human, and I don't intend on ever leaving her unnaturally. I love her way too much.

 

[queenofengland]

Ive a few letterers for people after

 

[outrider567]

Leaving the note for the police(so there's no doubt), and my stepmother, and Patti's brother, who is the executor of my will

 

[huphup]

Supposedely, the number one thing that those bereaved by someone who passes from suicide ask is "why?" So I try to lessen the pain for people around me by giving them an explanation. I think its a nice sense of closure.

 

[WinterVR]

"notes" for me was more like fucking books. the times i thought abt CTB and almost blowing my brain out. I wrote 2 notes the first one was basically a "fuck you" note to my family and the 2nd was a thanks and apology to my friends.

I hate my family and i wish i was never born but ever since i came out as trans i was ostracized and bullied. i felt like it was wrong to be trans. and my friends helped get through a lot of shit.

At the end of the day i wrote the note to my freinds as a way to explain what i did and i hoped they would have forgiven me, i was being kind of selfish

 

[StrugglingSienna]

I don't want people to twist my actions and make it out to be a tragedy. Especially since I am trans. I'm gonna ask my mother specifically in the note not to post me everywhere and claim what's happening in the government pushed me to do this.

This is definitely a big part of why I'm writing mine. I don't want my story to be used by activists. I want everyone to know exactly why I killed myself and to know all the things that did not affect my decision. And if I ctb during this administration, I especially want everyone to know that Trump or whatever had nothing to do with it.

 

[catfriend]

the 'why' is important to the bereaved. not that the 'why' will EVER convince them that your decision was the right one -- no, they'll never quite understand -- but, a note can at least tell them where your head was at, and how that lead to your decision. this is what i am attempting to do in my note, in preparation for my ctb soon. :)

 

[InTheStars]

No I can't. And that is why I choose to live. I live for her everyday. I still have my bad days for sure but I have a good support system who know about my suicidal ideation when I'm in my dark points, and I actively monitor those to make sure I don't act on impulse. I'm also monitored by my doctor and I'm on some good medication that works for me. I created my little human, and I don't intend on ever leaving her unnaturally. I love her way too much.

You are amazing mom! Just keep going and enjoy presence of your child every moment. Coming from a mom who lost her daughter.

 

[deadbidaylight]

You are amazing mom! Just keep going and enjoy presence of your child every moment. Coming from a mom who lost her daughter.

I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing I say can ease that pain for you, although I really wish there was. That is my worst nightmare and I am heartbroken that you have to live it. No parent should ever have to bury their children. My heart breaks for you

 

[username12345]

I've never written a note before an attempt, but I always think about it. Sometimes I feel like it means I'm not really suicidal since so many other people write notes, but yknow I still try to kill myself so I probably am suicidal. Its something I think about a lot and I've been thinking about writing a note recently so I'm kinda interested in why people write their notes. Thnx for any responses :)

It's so that people don't try to twist my story and the truth into what works for them.

 

[divinemistress36]

For my parent so they dont blame themselves to much

 

[InTheStars]

I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing I say can ease that pain for you, although I really wish there was. That is my worst nightmare and I am heartbroken that you have to live it. No parent should ever have to bury their children. My heart breaks for you

It's the most unimaginable pain, so hard to breathe, can't function at all. I just want to die. So please live for your baby girl! There so many memories to make. If I could just hug mine one more time... now I can hope I will when I die.

 

[deadbidaylight]

It's the most unimaginable pain, so hard to breathe, can't function at all. I just want to die. So please live for your baby girl! There so many memories to make. If I could just hug mine one more time... now I can hope I will when I die.

She will be there waiting for you when you cross over, I'm sure of it. Again, I am soooo sorry. I don't think I could survive the loss, so I can totally empathize with why you're here.

 

[InTheStars]

She will be there waiting for you when you cross over, I'm sure of it. Again, I am soooo sorry. I don't think I could survive the loss, so I can totally empathize with why you're here.

Thank you Her death destroyed me. Mom should be where her children are. Fight for your girl while you can. She's with you and that only matters. If I can only go back in time...how happy I was. But there is no turning back.