I've seen your story all too often, my friend. All you have to do is watch this video and pay attention. Watch the entire video all the way through, while paying attention to the best of your ability, then give yourself a day to think it over. While death itself is nothing be afraid of, the dying process is something worth orchestrating well, to the best of one's ability. Don't waste your time worrying about what comes after, worry about the when/where/how you are going to arrive at death. The only real infliction any conscious entity of Homo sapiens origin has ever sustained, is having been born into a particular type of universe where time itself is colored/skewed abrasive, --this particular experience (the human entity) is an objectively unsuitable medium for phenomena such as: consciousness.
"Is it possible that existence is our exile and nothingness our home?" -Emil Cioran
"In what state of consciousness would I eventually like to die?" -Thomas Metzinger
"Everyone will die once, so we have to get it right the first time" -Dr. Richard Chye
"All that is real is real in a moment, which is a succession of moments. Anything that is true is true of the present moment. Not only is time real, but everything that is real is situated in time. Nothing exists timelessly." -Lee Smolin
"Of all obstacles to a thoroughly penetrating account of existence, none looms up more dismayingly than "time." Explain time? Not without explaining existence. Explain existence? Not without explaining time. To uncover the deep and hidden connection between time and existence, to close on itself our quartet of questions, is a task for the future." -John Archibald Wheeler
"...Nothing, some physicist implied, might be the ultimate symmetry, everywhere, everywhen the same... Mostly we knew what nothing was not. It was not anything. But it was the possibility of everything. And perhaps such beauty, nothing, was unstable. And the result was every once in an eternity it twitched." -Dennis Overbye
