Venting For me, I can never see myself willingly choosing life over wanting to be dead

[ijustwishtodie]

No matter what I do, life will never be worth living for me. It's tiring and, for me, suffering and pain will always outweigh happiness. No matter what I do, I just can't see myself liking life. And that'd be okay if I could kill myself but it isn't that easy. Especially since suicide methods are hard and I'm too drained out of energy to do even the most basic tasks so how exactly would I have the energy to CTB? Hence I'm stuck in this limbo and getting more insane from seeing other people live happy lives.

Anybody else relate?

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I would never prefer life, I will always see it as better to not exist. Because after all one cannot suffer from not existing, all that existence does is create unnecessary problems and suffering. And there is also the risk of existing getting much more unbearable at any moment so of course I'd always prefer to die.

I also find existing tiring and I just don't see any value in this futile process of just waiting to die anyway, the only relief from all future suffering and harms lies in death and that is why in my case it only feels right wishing for death. There's nothing desirable about having the ability to suffer in this hellish reality.
And I also feel trapped here because of the difficulty of suicide, I cannot stand it when people act like suicide is so easy because it really isn't, I hate how we exist in this society where suicide is cruelly made as inaccessible as possible.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

In my case I would never prefer life, I will always see it as better to not exist. Because after all one cannot suffer from not existing, all that existence does is create unnecessary problems and suffering. And there is also the risk of existing getting much more unbearable at any moment so of course I'd always prefer to die.

I also find existing tiring and I just don't see any value in this futile process of just waiting to die anyway, the only relief from all future suffering and harms lies in death and that is why in my case it only feels right wishing for death. There's nothing desirable about having the ability to suffer in this hellish reality.
And I also feel trapped here because of the difficulty of suicide, I cannot stand it when people act like suicide is so easy because it really isn't, I hate how we exist in this society where suicide is cruelly made as inaccessible as possible.

Exactly this. Well said. I wish people didn't force us to be alive but of course they have to force us to stay alive